


My Way Home Is Through You

by pquill



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, Frank Iero and the Patience, Gerard Way and the Hormones, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, frnkiero andthe cellabration
Genre: (with some smut too), A CUTE FLUFFY STORY ABOUT FRANKIE AND GEE FALLING IN LOVE, Angst, Artist!Gerard - Freeform, Complete, Crossdressing, Fluff, Frank Iero is a Sweetheart, Frerard, Gerard is a shy awkward bean, Guitarist!Frank, Happy Ending, I Don't Even Know, I Just Really Love Pete Wentz, M/M, Smut, idk what to tag this, just cute and shit, who knows just read it if you want to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2018-09-06 22:31:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 63,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8771938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pquill/pseuds/pquill
Summary: Gerard started working at the comic book store when he was sixteen. Seeing as he practically spent all his time there anyway, the income was just a bonus. And, being the awkward, dorky kind of guy he was, he never really felt compelled to get another job - or a 'real' job, as his mother put it - post-high school. So, at the age of twenty-five, Gerard found himself still working there, and not seeing any need to change a thing. Of course, his salary was barely enough to survive off, so he made commission art, collaboration comic books and other odds and ends in order to afford his apartment. He didn't really care about the large amount of his time that was occupied by painting and watercolours, because it meant he didn't have to go outside, or, god forbid, socialize. He was satisfied with the amount of friends he had - Mikey, Ray and Ryan were all he needed. Or so he thought. Then, Gerard met Frank. And suddenly, he needed that man more than he had ever needed anyone.





	1. I Brought You My Comic Books, You Brought Me Your Band Tees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard meets Frank and Mikey freaks out.

"Hi," a bright voice spoke from across the chipped wooden bench that Gerard was hunched over. Gerard raised his head slightly, peering through the dark strands of hair that hung over his eyes to see who was talking to him. He was met with the smiling face of a man around his age, and tried his hardest not to gasp at the sight. The man had a strong jawline and tattoos that crept up his neck, teasing Gerard to look lower. There were two metal rings - one in his nose and one in his lip - which, particularly when the tattoos were taken into consideration, gave him a badass punk vibe that would have been intimidating if it wasn't for his short stature and the cheerful attitude he seemed to be radiating. He had a mop of brown hair that looked soft, locks of which curled abstractly over his forehead, but was fortunately not long enough to conceal the warm hazel eyes that were looking straight at Gerard. He took in a shaky breath that he hoped went unnoticed by the stranger, simultaneously trying to figure out how it was possible for a human to be that attractive and gather his thoughts enough to be able to utter a reply.

"Uh..." Gerard struggled to string the words that were dancing around in his brain into a coherent sentence, which only became harder the longer he looked at the beautiful man that stood before him. Especially when he noticed the Misfits tee shirt he was sporting under his leather jacket. _Fuck fuck fuck I am so fucking fucked_ he chanted internally. His gaze wandered up the man's neck to look into his eyes. A few seconds later Gerard began to panic, realizing that he still hadn't responded. Was his window of opportunity closed already? Surely hours had past, days, possibly. What had the man said again? Hi. _Hi_. How does one react to hi? What did that word even mean? _It's a greeting_ , Gerard's internal sense informed him. _You react by returning the acknowledgement_. "Heyo," he said. Fuck. _How the fuck did you fuck up saying hello?_ he thought to himself. "Um, that was mean to be a hey, but, uh... 'hello' got mixed up in there too."

The man giggled. He fucking _giggled_. Gerard nearly died then and there. "Well, heyo to you too." He glanced down at the mess of papers that Gerard was leaning on. "Whatcha got there?"

Gerard looked down to see what he was talking about, having lost all sense of his surroundings the second he laid eyes on the tattooed god before him. He discovered a clutter of sheets, some of which were scribbled with sketches and scrawled, barely legible handwriting. He also saw his hands, one of which was clutching a pencil, both of which were covered in ink and charcoal. After a moment of collecting the evidence in front of him he remembered what he had been doing a few seconds ago. "Oh, I'm making a, uh, comic."

"That's rad! Oh, man, I wish I could draw. Could I see?"

Gerard had only ever shown his concept drawings to his brother Mikey and his editor Brian. He was very self-conscious about them, which was strange, considering it had always been his dream to be a published comic artist and writer. Maybe it was something about the first character sketches and unpolished story lines that made him uneasy, knowing that it was all only drafting. He was fine with sharing his finished works, like _The Umbrella Academy_ \- which was actually for sale on the shelves of the very shop he stood in - but knowing that his rough copies hadn't been looked over and approved by a professional made him hesitant.

Gerard nodded and slid a few pages across the desk that stood between him and the stranger.

"They're just drafts, so, um... Yeah, the story and stuff isn't too great yet, and I'm not too sure about the names or colours or other things and I'll probably change it a lot because it's not the best thing I've ever made but I think it has potential but it might not, I don't really know, I haven't shown it to my editor yet so I'm not sure-" Gerard looked down, feeling his cheeks flush. He fiddled with his pencil nervously. "Uh, sorry. I ramble sometimes."

"No worries, dude, these are awesome! I love your art style, the ideas, just all of it. This is so cool. What're you gonna call it?" The man cheered excitedly. Gerard smiled at the desk, brushing his not-so-clean hair behind his ear.

"I'm thinking, like, uh, _The Killjoy_ s, or something. I'm not really sure."

"You gonna get it published? I would totally read it." He said. Gerard finally gained the guts to look up at him again. The man was examining the sheets, a big, gorgeous smile spread across his face. That smile alone, as cliché as it sounded, could literally light up the city. Gerard felt seconds away from squinting, the concentrated ray of beauty and happiness too much for his borderline-vampiric tendencies.

He shrugged, looking down again.

"So, you work here?" The man asked. Gerard wondered why the stranger was still talking to him. This stunningly attractive man was standing in a comic book store, talking to Gerard Way. The same Gerard that was so antisocial he made a Facebook memorial page for himself so he wouldn't have to go to any high school reunions. The same Gerard that was so awkward that he tipped the pizza guy ninety bucks because all he had was a hundred dollar note (which he found on the sidewalk - for once luck was on his side) and watching the boy fumble for change caused him to have heart palpitations. The same Gerard that was so dependent on coffee that he impulsively sold the car his parents bought him just so he could afford multiple doses of caffeine daily. This situation was unreal.

"Yeah... I've, um, worked here for, uh, nine years." Gerard said. He cursed internally for his constant flow of 'um's and 'uh's and forced himself to look the man in the eye again.

"What's a twenty-something year old man as pretty as you doing still working at a comic book store?" The man teased, and Gerard could have sworn he winked at him.

"What's a twenty-something year old man as pretty as _you_  doing still browsing a comic book store?" Gerard asked bravely with an unusual surge of determination to not make a fool of himself that disappeared almost as soon as it arrived. He considered mumbling an apology but decided that the damage had already been done and simply chewed on his bottom lip and averted his gaze instead.

"Touché," he laughed again, a sweet sound that echoed in Gerard's brain and made him dizzy. The man leaned in closer. "Sorry, excuse my rudeness. I didn't even ask your name?"

Name. Gerard was sure he had one. It was one the tip of his tongue. G. It started with G. _Come on, Gerard, you can do this_. He opened his mouth and closed it again. Since when was remembering his name such a challenge? G, G, G... Gerard! Gerard was his name. "Gerard," he smiled, trying not to show how flustered he was. "Uh, Way," he added as an afterthought. "Gerard Way."

"I like it. Gerard Way," the man said wistfully, as if he was testing how the name tasted on his lips. After a moment of daydreaming his gaze returned to Gerard, head cocked slightly to the side, an impish grin illuminating his features. "I'm Frank Iero, and I think you're simply adorable."

Gerard blushed and lowered his head again, allowing his greasy hair to cover his beaming face and red-hot cheeks. His mind had gone on a holiday by now. His head was completely void of thought. He couldn't even begin to comprehend the words coming from Frank's pretty little mouth. Gerard thought the man had called him adorable, but he must have misheard. This tiny man with the face of an angel was complimenting him? No way. No fucking way.

"Hey, could I borrow your phone for a sec? I left mine at home," Frank asked. Gerard nodded and slid his cell across the bench. The man thanked him, and excused himself to make a call. Gerard let out a deep sigh once he was off around a corner, tucked away in an isle. Fuck, fuck, fuck, Frank was probably the hottest guy he had ever seen. And he had spoken to Gerard. Voluntarily. Granted, it could have been just so he could use his phone, but Gerard chose to ignore that possibility for the time being. He thought about texting Mikey, begging him to give his older brother advice on how to ask a guy out. Not that he would ever have the guts to actually do it. Plus, Frank had literally just taken his phone. He ran a hand through his hair in a desperate attempt to make himself more presentable and brushed off his shirt, effectively ruining it with black hand prints of various mediums. He cursed and tried to wipe off the stains, only making it worse. Damn it. This was his last clean shirt. He desperately wished he'd washed his hair this morning - or at least showered. "Thanks." Gerard jumped at the voice, before realizing that it was just Frank handing back his phone.

"Oh, uh, no problem." Gerard said. He forced himself to ask a question, anything, to keep this man talking to him. "Um... do you, like, uh, live around here?"

_Great, Gerard, Now you sound like some creeper who wants to know where he lives. You're going to die alone._

Frank just smiled happily, like he was glad that the conversation was continuing. "Yeah, I just moved. Live right down the road, actually. You?" His smile faltered. "Do you live around here, I mean. Not to sound creepy or anything."

This made Gerard feel a little bit better about his awkward stuttering. "Yeah, just a couple blocks away."

"That's cool."

"Not really, I live in a shitty apartment with my brother." Gerard chuckled.

"I can guarantee mine is shittier." Frank rested his head on his hands, elbows on the desk and face dangerously close to Gerard's.

"Is that a challenge?" Gerard giggled, pushing his hair back yet again. Frank smiled fondly and pushed a stubborn strand behind Gerard's ear himself. Gerard's heart rate increased exponentially, and a pleasant electricity zapped from Frank's fingers into his skin, travelling through his blood stream like a virus. He had know the man for barely ten minutes and already a simple touch drove him insane. He was so caught up in the strange pleasure that he didn't even notice Frank's nervous blush and slightly embarrassed recoil.

"I guess you'll just have to swing by my place and judge for yourself."

Gerard found himself flirting back and silently thanked his subconscious for doing something good for once. "Maybe I will."

Frank smiled.

Gerard smiled back.

"So, _Star Wars_?" Frank nodded at Gerard's shirt. He looked down, having forgotten what he was wearing long ago. He was met with a dorky grey Storm Trooper tee that he didn't recall buying, and would never wear again due to the black hand print stains. Or maybe he would, just to remember meeting Frank. This made him realize that he would probably never see the man that stood before him again, and a small frown crossed his face. He didn't want the tiny tattooed man to become another stranger in the city, just one more face in the crowd. He wanted to get to know Frank, even if it just lead to friendship. No, that was a lie, Gerard wanted to kiss the motherfucker, but he wanted to develop a deeper relationship too.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"I love _Star Wars_." Frank smiled sweetly, seeming to notice Gerard's drop in mood. "My favourite has always been _The Empire Strikes Back_. Fucking gold. I always kinda had a crush on Han Solo."

"Me too. Young Anakin wasn't too bad either," Gerard said. He felt himself relaxing and becoming more comfortable by the second. Frank's efforts to ease his tension were working. "So, I'm assuming you like the Misfits?"

"How did you know?" Frank grinned, tugging on the front of his shirt. "You like 'em?"

"You betcha," Gerard said. "Ramones?"

"Fuck yeah. Bowie?"

"Who doesn't like Bowie?"

"True," Frank nodded. He looked over at the door, where two gloomy looking teenage boys were entering the comic book store, greasy and dressed in all-black. They reminded Gerard of his high school years, and the emo phase that he never really grew out of. "Do you need to go help them or something?"

"I'd much rather stand here and talk to you." Gerard said, blushing profusely and looking away the second the words left his lips. Man, he needed to think before he spoke, or he'd scare Frank off. Frank didn't seem to be spooked by his statement, though, only inched closer.

"You're cute when you blush," Frank smirked shyly. Gerard blushed harder, ducking his head, only to find Frank's fingers under his chin, rough, calloused fingertips gently nudging his face up. He timidly met Frank's eyes, only to find the other man dropping his hand and shifting away. He took a few steps back, alarming Gerard. "I'm sorry, that was too forward, I'll just-"

"No!" Gerard said, a little too loudly, wrapping his fingers around Frank's leather-clad bicep before he could slip away. Frank looked up at him anxiously, as if he was expecting the worst possible reaction. Gerard felt a slight tug in his heart at that look - he related too much to that, overthinking situations and scaring himself for no reason. He loosened his grip slightly and gazed down at the shorter man softly, willing his confidence to return from the war. Hell, who was he kidding. He never had confidence. "I mean, it wasn't too forward. I, um, I think you're really attractive and I like talking to you a lot and this sounds bizarre because I met you like fifteen minutes ago but you seem like a nice dude and I didn't mind you touching my face at all."

Frank's smile was brighter than any of the previous ones when Gerard finally shut up. "I like you too, Gerard."

The pair fell into a comfortable silence. Normally, for a lack of conversation to not be awkward for Gerard; he had to have known them for a few years. But he already felt like he had known Frank for long enough. He looked into the other man's eyes, noticing the layers of colour. Warm chocolate brown and sparkling gold laced over a forest green. It was beautiful. Gerard thought he could stare at those eyes for hours. He wanted to memorize them, look at them until he could draw them perfectly without reference. He could spend years studying each feature - each tattoo, even. This whole encounter felt almost too good to be true, and the romantic attraction might not even be mutual for all Gerard knew. That's when he started to panic again, trying to lose his hope in case this wasn't real. He didn't believe in love at first sight, but _damn_ , Frank was fine.

Gerard's saving grace came in the form of a lanky man with glasses bursting through the door, yelling his name.

"Gerard!" Mikey shouted.

Gerard looked up to see his brother rushing towards him, and before he could sass the man by saying 'Mikey, inside voice' or something like that, he noticed the state he was in. Mikey's hair was hopelessly mussed and his jacket was only half on. His black-rimmed glasses were lopsided on his face and his eyes were wide and anxious. He was panting slightly, as if he had been running, which is what scared Gerard the most. Mikey _never_ ran. Frank looked at Gerard nervously, obviously wondering who this strange man was and why he appeared to have just participated in an epic chase scene. Gerard barely noticed though, he was too busy darting forward to grasp his brother's shoulders and hold him steady, because the younger Way appeared to be seconds away from fainting. "Mikey, what's wrong?" Gerard stressed, already imagining a million possibilities for behind his brother's current state. Normally Mikey was so cool and collected, barely showing emotion, so something big must have happened for him to be acting like this.

"I need to sit," was all Mikey had to say. Gerard looked around helplessly for a chair, his concern distorting his perception. Frank, seeing how flustered he was, raced behind the counter and dragged the broken swivel chair (which acted more as a ladder to reach the tall shelves than an actual seat - the wheels were stolen a couple years ago in the weirdest robbery Gerard had ever witnessed) that was in the corner over to the brothers and indicated for Mikey to sit. Mikey did, and Gerard shot Frank a grateful look.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on or am I going to have to call Mom?" Gerard asked.

Mikey shook his head furiously. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, as if to prepare himself for a speech, before simply stammering: "Pete."

"What about Pete? Is he okay?" Gerard asked, worry laced in his voice. Pete was MIkey's best friend, and had been for years. He was practically as much of a brother to Gerard as Mikey was. He thought about all the concerts he had taken the two to when they were too young to get in on their own, all the alcohol he'd bought them when they were underage. All the times Pete had asked if Mikey liked this, or Mikey liked that, because that little fucker always had to give the younger Way the best birthday present out of everyone. _Pete's probably dead_ , Gerard's subconscious told him unempathetically. _Fuck_ , Gerard thought back. _He probably is_.

"He, um... he..." Mikey muttered something under his breath. Gerard gesture for him to repeat what he had said, leaning in to hear. "He asked me out. Like, on a date," the younger brother whispered, voice shaking. Gerard's jaw dropped; he wasn't sure why, he'd always seen the sexual tension between the two. He wrapped Mikey in a tight embrace, and squeezed him for a good few seconds, muttering 'congratulations' and 'finally,' until he remembered: _Frank_.

Gerard released his brother and looked up at the other man, who was awkwardly hovering next to them, slight disappointment in his eyes. "Frank, oh my god, I'm so sorry, this is my brother Mikey, who just gave me a minor heart attack. Mikey, this is Frank."

Frank's gaze softened and he smiled at Mikey. "Hiya. So, who's Pete?"

"He's-" Mikey started, only to have Gerard's palm pressed over his mouth.

"My brother's boyfriend." Gerard finished proudly.

Mikey turned red and looked at the floor. "Shut up..." He shoved his brother away.

Frank's grin widened. "Nice." He glanced over at the clock on the wall behind the register and mumbled a string of expletives under his breath. "Fuck, um... I gotta go now, but, uh, it was nice meeting you, Mikey." He waved awkwardly and winked at Gerard as he headed for the door, and Gerard could have sworn on Kurt Cobain's grave that he mouthed the words 'call me.' His heart fluttered as the door swung shut behind the tiny man, colour rising to his cheeks.

"Gerard," Mikey dragged his brother back into reality, speaking in a tone that implied that he had repeated the name multiple times already. Oops.

"Yeah, what?" Gerard breathed dreamily, still staring at the door.

"Pete's still waiting."

"What?" Gerard asked, cocking his head in confusion.

"He's still waiting," Mikey said, as if the sentence would suddenly make sense if he repeated it. Gerard rolled his eyes and kicked his brother in the shin, urging him to elaborate. Mikey frowned but continued. "We we were at the apartment, just playing Mario Kart, y'know, and then he just kinda stopped the game and turned to me and..."

"What did he say?" Gerard prompted.

"He told me he loved me. And I, being the idiot I am, was all like 'I love you, too, Pete, _you're my best friend_ ', and he shook his head and said 'no, I _love_ you.' I just kinda froze up, y'know?" Mikey took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He started tapping his foot impatiently. "Then he started talking, and he didn't stop for a long time, about how he didn't want to fuck up our friendship but he didn't know how much longer he could go on with us being just friends, how it had taken years for him to gain the courage to tell me. And he asked me to go out for dinner with him, as more than friends, and... Well, I panicked, and..."

"Don't tell me..." Gerard's eyes widened. "You _didn't._ "

Mikey nodded solemnly.

"You fucking ran?"

Mikey hung his head.

"You just left him there? Without saying anything?"

"I didn't know how to react!"

"You fucking kiss him! Shout 'yes, Pete Motherfucking Wentz, I will go out with you!' Live happily ever after!"

"I know! I wish I had. You understand better than anyone how long I've liked him for-"

"Since tenth grade. Meaning you've had five fucking years to make a move."

"Whatever," Mikey sighed deeply in defeat. "It's too late now. He probably fucking hates me."

Gerard yanked Mikey out of the chair, causing the younger man to yelp, and shoved him towards to door. He quickly scanned the shop, making sure those two boys from earlier had left, before flicking the sign that hung off the door to 'CLOSED' and shoving his brother outside. Before the other boy could make a single noise of complaint, Gerard was locking up the shop and dragging Mikey down the street. "You're going to walk into that apartment and kiss the fuck out of that idiot." Gerard ordered.

"Okay, okay! Slow down! I need time to prepare," Mikey said. After a moment of consideration, Gerard complied. Mikey wheezed in relief. "So, uh, who was that Frank guy?"

Gerard smiled. "I just met him today. Super cute, super dorky, and super out of my league. He was just so fucking pretty, Mikey, and he seemed like he wanted to keep talking to me. He even told me to call-" Gerard froze, mid-step. He wanted to cry. He was on cloud nine after his encounter with Frank, and his flirtatious farewell was the icing on the cake. It was all just a sick joke, Gerard realized. Frank was making fun of him. Because right then, in that moment, he became aware of something huge: Frank had never even given him his number. "I'm a fucking moron, Mikey." Mikey turned to look at his brother, concerned at the sudden change in mood. "I actually let myself think that he liked me. Why would anyone fucking like me? He just wanted to lead me on, make a fool out of me-"

"Gerard, stop!" Mikey yelled, harsh tone hitting Gerard like a cool splash of water. "Stop," he repeated, softer. "We're past that, remember?'

Gerard nodded gloomily. "Let's just go get you your man. I'll find one sooner or later." Mikey seemed satisfied with this response, and continued walking, ranting about Gerard's somber past and bad habits and how he would do anything for him to be happy, and Gerard knew he meant well, but he wanted Mikey to stop talking. He didn't truly believe the sentence he had just forced out to make Mikey happy. He was dying on the inside. He shouldn't be this heartbroken by a literal stranger, but he was. Maybe he was just so fucking lonely that he had hoped with all his heart that someone other than his brother might actually care, for once, might actually want to be near him. _Although_ , Gerard thought, _I wouldn't want to know me either_.

Before Gerard knew it, he and Mikey were back at the apartment, facing their front door. Gerard wanted to run into his room and cry, but his brother was a nervous wreck beside him. "It's okay, Mikes," Gerard comforted. He hugged the younger man, who was borderline hyperventilating. "He loves you, he told you himself."

"What if he's not even there? What if he left?"

"He'll be there."

After a few minutes, Mikey nodded, took a deep breath, and opened the door. Gerard trailed after him, having to shove past his brother when he stopped in the door frame, staring at Pete, who was sat rigidly on the couch staring back. Gerard pushed Mikey out of the way and slammed the door shut. "Okay, you two, stop staring and fucking sort this out," Gerard growled in a testy tone. When the only reaction he receive was two pairs of eyes anxiously glued to him, he sighed and rolled his eyes dramatically. "Come  _on_. Pete, Mikey is head over fucking heels in love with you, has been for years. He's just a stupid ass motherfucker."

Pete looked over at Mikey, all doe-eyed and innocent. Gerard chose this opportunity to rush to his bedroom, but was unfortunately not fast enough to miss his brother practically jumping on Pete and pressing his lips to the other man's passionately. _Gross_ , he thought. He flopped onto his bed and picked up his phone with the intention of playing some shitty break up music - the Taylor Swift and Adele albums he would refuse ownership of until death. When he unlocked the phone however, his jaw went slack.

The contacts application was open, and displayed a freshly made contact. The name read 'Frank xx' with a number and a cute blurry photo that he must have taken when he was borrowing Gerard's phone. 

Gerard felt like an idiot. He had overreacted majorly, his fragile mental state sinking into its dark place far too quickly. But none of that mattered anymore, because now he had the phone number of the cute boy in the comic book store who was a little bit punk, a little bit nerd, and a lot _absolutely perfect_. A huge, stupid smile spread across his face and he darted out of the room, ducking his head into the living room to yell 'he gave me his number,' staring at his phone screen the whole time, just in case the digits disappeared when he looked away. When he finally did raise his gaze to see the Pete and Mikey's reactions, he was met with the horrible vision of a make out session involving his brother, on  _his own fucking sofa_. "Gross," he said, still smiling like a fool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare yourself for shitty content and shittier chapter names.
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


	2. Three Cheers For Mikey Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikey slaps some sense into Gerard, rather literally.

It had been three days since Gerard met Frank.

Gerard spent most of this seventy two hours jumping every time someone walked into the comic book store and looking disappointed each time that it wasn't Frank coming to see him. Which was every time. When he wasn't doing that, he was staring at his phone or eating excess amounts of carbohydrates. His strange behavior went unnoticed by his brother for a good couple nights, mostly because Mikey had a certain Pete Wentz to keep him occupied, but eventually he remembered that Gerard was basically a child and needed almost constant supervision.

"What are you doing?" Mikey asked, sounding like he was done with Gerard's shit. Which was fair enough, seeing as it was ten in the evening and his brother was sitting on the floor in front of the television, half-watching reruns of _The Bachelor_ and gazing longingly at his phone, a large saucepan of pasta in his lap.

"I'm enjoying the wonders of reality television," Gerard said, around a mouthful of fettuccine. He could only find small amounts of various pastas in the cupboard, so had decided to go all Masterchef and mix them together. What resulted was a weird, gluggy bowl of starch that showcased the fact that Gerard couldn't cook for shit. He pointed at the screen with his fork. "That blonde one is gonna win. It's always the blondes."

"You didn't give him your number. He gave you his. Which means you have to call him. Do you not understand that concept?" Mikey sassily ignored Gerard's insight on one of the world's worst dating shows and jumped to conclusions like the asshole he was. Sometimes Gerard hated the way that Mikey was always right.

"I have no clue what you're talking about." Gerard scooped up some pasta. 

"You're a bitch-ass liar." Mikey kicked the fork out of Gerard's hand, effectively spreading the food all over the carpet. Gerard looked hurt, as if that pasta had been his child or something.

"Hey!"

"Call him," Mikey demanded. Gerard crossed his arms and shook his head. Mikey frowned and kicked the saucepan off his lap, causing a growl to erupt from his brother. "Call. Him," Mikey repeated, more forcefully this time. Gerard, once again, shook his head, and apparently the younger Way would not accept this answer. He pounced on Gerard, pinning him to the floor. Gerard squirmed under him, but wasn't strong enough to throw him off. Mikey sat up on his chest, holding onto Gerard's wrists and glaring daggers at him. "Just fucking call him! You know you want to." Mikey dug his elbow into Gerard's side, and Gerard let out a high-pitched shriek. He thought it was unfair that Mikey had such bony elbows. He was no match for those sword-like joints, and it felt like he was being staked in the heart when Mikey took advantage of this weapon natural selection had gifted him with. But, Gerard's stubborn nature overpowered his pain intolerance, so he continued to shake his head. "Why not?"

"Because!" Gerard spat.

"Because what?" Mikey dug his nails into his brother's wrist. Gerard cried out.

"Because of reasons!" Gerard said. Mikey, still unsatisfied, moved his knee so it hovered over Gerard's crotch, and gave him a warning look. Gerard winced at the thought of what he was in for and gave up. "Okay, okay! I'm scared, Mikey. I'm fucking terrified!" Gerard felt Mikey's grip loosen and he sighed in relief. "Frank is the most gorgeous guy I've ever seen and I'm scared I'm going to fuck it up. Hell, I'm scared it might be a fake number! I'm scared I'm going to get my hopes up and be left disappointed and broken. I'm scared that I'll get too clingy and he'll run away. I'm scared that he won't be the guy I've built him up to be in my head. I'm just so fucking scared."

"Then fucking grow a pair, Gerard! Every relationship you ever have will be scary. There will be times when you're uncertain, and there always will be. You need to stop focusing on the negative possibilities. What if he's the love of your life? What if you get married, adopt a dog? Or what if you don't, what if he's just another guy? Either way, it's worth taking the chance. You can't live in a box your whole life. You need to get out there," Mikey lectured, and yep, Gerard definitely hated the way Mikey was always right. "You can't spend your whole life thinking 'what if.' I did for a long time, and I see now that some things are worth the risk. I know you've had it tough, Gerard, but I just want you to be happy. So please, call Frank, and tell him that I'll kick his ass if he hurts you."

"You're the worst, Mikey," Gerard said affectionately. "I'll call him later."

"No fucking way, Gerard. Now." Mikey's stern manner returned. It was at times like these that Gerard questioned their roles as siblings. Gerard was four years older than Mikey, but for almost his whole life, his little brother had been equally, if not more protective of him as Gerard was of Mikey. Maybe it was because of the _incident_ back in high school that made Mikey wary of his big brother's stability, but he possessed more traits of an older sibling than Gerard did. Sometimes Gerard felt like it was his fault, that his issues had forced Mikey to grow up too fast. But on his good days, he could see that Mikey was just a good person with a kind heart, and Gerard was blessed to have grown up with him and shaped him into the wonderful (if not pushy, tenacious, impulsive, and a million other negative adjectives that Gerard could think of to describe his brother - lovingly, of course) human he was.

"Why? It's late. What if he's asleep?"

"It's half past ten. If he's asleep, you don't need him anyway."

"Fuck off. I'll do it tomorrow."

"No. You fucking won't." Mikey began to dig around in Gerard's pockets, which was extremely awkward for both of them. Gerard was confused and slightly concerned until he realized that Mikey was looking for his phone. When this hit him, he squirmed violently, but Mikey was persistent, and eventually got his hands on the device.

"You don't know the password!" Gerard bluffed, struggling harder under his younger brother's grip.

"You don't have a fucking password!" Mikey said, and began to tap away. Gerard's heart sunk and his stomach did somersaults inside of him, and by the time he was free, it was already too late. The phone was ringing. Gerard snatched it off his brother and spat obscenities at him, ready to hang up, when the ringing suddenly stopped. The two men froze.

"Hello?" Frank's voice asked from the other end of the phone line, and god, he sounded as good as when Gerard met him. His voice was smooth and sweet, yet also dangerous and mysterious. Gerard thought he could listen to it for hours; no matter what Frank was talking about, he was sure it would sound like heaven. He started almost literally drooling as his train of thought derailed into a dirty territory, and he was imagining Frank purring into his ear, or crying out his name... Then Mikey poked him, and he remembered that he had to respond. It was like a flashback to their first meeting.

"Hi, it's, uh-" Gerard stammered. Mikey face-palmed and Gerard retreated to his bedroom, sure to lock the door.

"Gerard," Frank said joyfully, shocking Gerard slightly. He had barely expected Frank to remember who he was, let alone his name. He was stunned further by the man's next comment. "I was starting to think you'd never call."

'I wasn't going to, but my asshat brother forced me' didn't seem like the best answer, so Gerard was left stuttering uncomfortably. Luckily, Frank seemed to notice his nerves, so prompted conversation himself.

"I'm glad you did. I probably would have showed up at the comic book store at the end of the week in a embarrassingly feeble second attempt to woo you."

"You can drop by and woo me any day," Gerard said quietly.

"I think I just might."

"How, uh, how've you been?"

"I've been okay, although I'm much better now that I'm talking to you," Frank said. Gerard choked on air. "How's your comic going?"

"It's going slowly. I haven't been very motivated lately."

"Well, I can't wait to see it when it's done."

"So what do _you_ do?" Gerard asked, nerves instantly getting the better of him. "For work, I mean. Your job. I mean, uh-"

"It's okay, Gerard, I know what you mean," Frank giggled. "I'm in a band."

"Fuck. You just got ten times hotter," Gerard said without thinking, immediately blushing violently and praying to whatever greater force there was out there that Frank hadn't heard. _Way to go, Gerard, you've already fucked this up. New record._ He struggled to breath, feeling like the sky had fallen on him. He managed, barely, to squeak out a not-so-smooth cover-up. "Um, what instrument do you play?"

"Guitar and lead vocals." Frank spoke in a way that told Gerard he was smiling widely, which eased the crushing pressure on his chest slightly. He could breath again, which was good, but was still kicking himself internally for not filtering his words. "You should come see us sometime."

"I'd love to. When is your next gig?" Gerard thanked the universe that Frank didn't tease him.

"Not for a couple months, our drummer's in Peru. Don't really know why. I can send you the details closer to the date, if you like."

"Cool. I'll be there."

"It's a date." Frank paused, perhaps because he could hear Gerard's heart racing. "I mean, it doesn't have to be, it can just be platonic if you want, the last thing I want is for you to feel obliged to go out with me-"

"I thought you were supposed to be the confident one," Gerard laughed. "But either way, if you were to ask me on a date - hypothetically, of course - I would say yes in a heartbeat."

"I used up all my confidence the day I approached an unbelievably hot guy in a comic book store and gave him my number." Frank said smugly, and with that sentence alone Gerard's little aloofness was stripped, leaving him a blushing mess who was grinning like a fool.

"You're a smooth motherfucker."

"Only for you," Frank chuckled. "You busy tomorrow?"

"I'm free after work."

"You wanna come see a movie with me?"

"Fuck yeah, I do. Uh..." Gerard blushed for what had to be the millionth time. _Stay cool_ , he told himself. _What would Mikey do?_  "I mean, yes, I would like that."

"I'm glad I'm not the only one excited to see you again." Frank laughed. "I was beginning to think I liked you a lot more than you liked me."

"I thought the same about you." Gerard drew his knees to his chest, picking at a thread on the duvet. "I like you, Frank."

There was a pause, and a deep breath. "I like you too."

"I, uh, get off work at five."

"Sounds good. I'll pick you up then."

"I can't wait."

"Neither can I."

There was another silence.

"Am I supposed to hang up now?" Gerard asked. He had only had two relationships in his lifetime, and neither of them really even counted in his mind. The first person he became romantically involved with was a girl called Lindsey who he dated for only a couple weeks before realizing that he was gay as fuck. The second one was a dude named Bert who he dated for only a few months before the guy realized he was straight as fuck. In between then and now he'd had several regrettable stand-alone dates and drunken one night stands, but those days were over the second he gave up alcohol. So, yeah, Gerard didn't have much experience when it came to dating.

"I don't want you to."

"I don't want to either."

"So don't."

"Okay."

Yet again, the only sound on either side of the line was soft breaths. This time it felt much more comfortable, though, and Gerard found himself rather enjoying the fact that Frank was on the phone with him, not saying a word, just being there. He listened to the even inhales and exhales and tried not to become too self conscious about his own breathing.

"Gerard?"

"Yeah?"

"I think you're really pretty," Frank told him, sounding genuine. Gerard's heart practically melted. "And I can tell that you're blushing right now and that you don't think it's true, but I can assure you that you are stunningly beautiful."

Frank was not wrong, Gerard was blushing. He smiled, feeling like Frank understood him. "I think you're absolutely drop-dead gorgeous."

"Hey, now I'm blushing," Frank said. Gerard laughed and Frank laughed along with him. "Fuck you."

"Maybe later, sweetheart."

"Promise?"

Gerard giggled. "This is the most suggestive phone call I've ever received. Not that that's exactly saying much. Really, the only person that ever rings me is my brother, and that would just be weird."

"That wasn't a no." Frank said playfully.

"Huh?"

"You didn't say no. To, y'know... Sex." Frank laughed, and Gerard was convinced that he was actually a child, which only further convinced him that they were made for each other.

"All in due time," Gerard smiled. He had learned from his past 'relationships' that rushing into sex was a bad idea. He wanted to develop deeper feelings before they had sex. He felt as though emotional attraction and the love of someone as a person should come before the use of their body for pleasure.

Luckily, Frank seemed to be on the same wavelength. "Despite my sexual innuendos, I want to take this slow, Gerard. Do it right. I think you're too special to have it any other way."

"You're too good to be true, I swear."

"I mean it." Frank said seriously. Gerard could hear sheets rustling, like Frank was wriggling around in a bed. He forced his brain keep his thoughts about Frank in bed PG. "You deserve to be treated right."

"You hardly know me, Frank," Gerard said softly. "You don't know if I'm worth anything."

"Then let's change that. I want to get to know you."

"Isn't that what dates are for?"

"I don't think one date will suffice. I like you more than I should, Gerard. We met only a few days ago, but I've been thinking about you a lot. I want to know all there is to know about you. Where you grew up, what your favourite song is, who inspires you the most. Hell, I want to know if you're a cat person or a dog person." Frank sighed, and Gerard was lost for words. He was never one for opening up. Gerard tended to guard his feelings viciously; vulnerability was not a position he desired. But with Frank - he found himself wanting to share his life story. He wanted to talk to him and not stop until there was nothing left to be told. He wanted Frank to do the same, and for the first time, possibly ever, Gerard felt as though his intense degree of interest was mutual. That Frank had the same values and beliefs about relationships that Gerard had. He got so caught up in his thoughts that he forgot to respond, and Frank took the silence as a portrayal of rejection. "Damn it, now I've gone and creeped you out. I'm-"

"Please, it'll take more than that to scare me off. I just think you're amazing." Gerard smiled, hoping that he'd erased Frank's uncertainty. Upon hearing the barely audible sigh of relief Frank made, Gerard's smile widened. "And to answer your questions, right here, currently Bullet With Butterfly Wings by Smashing Pumpkins, my brother Mikey, and dog person."

"What are you saying about me?" Mikey yelled from outside Gerard's room. Gerard turned bright red at the extremely likely possibility of Mikey having eavesdropped on the entire conversation. Did he really have nothing better to do than invade on Gerard's phone calls? What a fucking loser.

"Piss off, Mikey! Go find Pete or something," Gerard shouted, scooping up a combat boot from the ground and throwing it at the door. He pressed the phone to his ear again to hear muffled laughter. "Sorry, Frank, one second." Gerard raced to the door and opened it to find his brother pressed against it. "I will take the fucking sword off my wall and slice you into small discs that I will sell to cannibals as edible frisbees if you don't mind your own fucking business."

Mikey rolled his eyes but walked off down the hallway nonetheless, presumably to his bedroom where Pete was probably waiting.

"Sorry about that. I'm changing my third answer to Billie Joe Armstrong," Gerard told Frank once he was sure that Mikey was gone and the door was locked. He sat down on his bed in a huff.

After a brief moment of laughing, Frank replied. "You have a sword on your wall?"

"A replica from Lord Of The Rings."

"Fuck, that's cool."

"Actually, Frank, it's the opposite of cool. Only a fucking dork has Middle-Earth weaponry hanging above their bed."

" _I_ think it's cool."

"That's because you're a fucking dork."

"Shut up." Frank giggled. "You're the one who works in a comic book store."

"Hey! That's not all I do."

"Oh yeah? What else?"

"Well, you already know about the comic books, but I also make art. Like, commissions and stuff."

"You're joking."

"My mom doesn't thinks it's a real job either." Gerard sighed.

"No, no, it's just..." Frank laughed uncomfortably. "Well, you've already told me how you feel about me being in a band, so I've really got nothing to lose. I think artists are fucking hot."

"Really?"

"Yup." Frank sighed. "You like band members, I like artists. We're a match made in heaven."

Gerard smiled at the last bit. "Why do you like artists?"

"I don't really know," Frank admitted. "I just find it very attractive. Something about hands, I think. Artist hands. Sketching, sculpting. Painting in long strokes, face screwed up in concentration. Not even noticing when acrylic and oil is splattered across your shirt, but when you do, you're forced to take it off... Fuck. Sorry, I nearly fucking moaned then. Jesus. That was fucking embarrassing."

Gerard just laughed.

"This isn't funny," Frank said, although Gerard could hear that he was stifling a chuckle. There was a crash in the background and a man started swearing loudly. "Fuck. My roommate just smashed a lamp. I better go clean it up, he's too incompetent to do it properly himself-" there was a crackling sound, like Frank was covering the speaker. Gerard could barely make out his words. "Yes, Bob, I just called you incompetent... Because yesterday you asked me if bananas were a vegetable... Just sit the fuck down, you're going to hurt yourself." Frank apologized, words clear once again. "We still on for tomorrow?"

"Of course."

"I'll see you then. Goodnight, Gerard."

"'Hey, wait, Frank?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you, maybe, not hang up? I mean, could you, like, uh, go do what you need to do, and then come back?" Gerard asked nervously. "It's just that there's so much more I want to know and it's not that late and I've really got no one else to talk to, not that I'd rather be talking to anyone else, but just-"

"I'd love that. I'll just leave the phone here and be back soon."

"Okay," Gerard said, grinning like a maniac.

***

The day was dragging on impossibly long. Gerard's eyes were constantly flickering over to the clock, expecting hours to have passed in only a minute. The fact that he was tired from talking to Frank until ungodly hours of the morning made waiting even worst. He tried to speed up time by playing The Sims on his laptop, but only ended up slamming it shut in frustration when he couldn't get his Sim version of Frank to look anywhere near as beautiful as the real thing. Business was running unusually slow, too, which didn't help either. Anticipation was thick in the air, and when he heard his name called from the doorway, Gerard beamed, only to find it was Pete.

"God fucking damn it." Gerard scowled.

"Wow, great to see you, too, Gerard," Pete rolled his eyes. "You expecting someone?"

Gerard looked at the clock. It was four fifty, meaning he was almost there. He was so close to surviving this eternal wait for Frank. "Not for another ten minutes. What's up?"

Pete shrugged. "Mikey's not home yet. I'm bored."

"So I'm the second option?" Gerard teased, a grin on his face.

"Third. Patrick's at work too."

"Whatever. I'm going to ditch you soon anyway."

"Oh, yeah, you have a date, don't you?" Pete wriggled his eyebrows, effectively making Gerard extremely uncomfortable. 

"The second he arrives, you're leaving."

"Thanks." Pete's voice was dripping with sarcasm as he rolled his eyes.

"I'm serious, Pete. He's too good for me. I can't mess this up." Gerard glanced at the door for what had to be the millionth time.

"You won't mess it up, Gerard. How could he _not_ like you? You're one of the best dudes I know. You're like the big brother I never wanted." Pete said, somehow both complimenting and insulting Gerard in a manner that warmed his heart. The shorter man wrapped Gerard in a suffocating hug, stuffing his face into his good leather jacket. Because Gerard wanted to dress up for Frank, he had been forced to wear his fancy jeans (which were just like his average black ones, only tighter) and expensive (second-hand) leather to work, which resulted in both negative and positive outcomes. On the plus side, his confidence was boosted due to the extra attention he got for having hair that was actually clean and not smelling like a dumpster, but also he spent the entire day constantly anxious about maintaining his appearance for Frank. He tried not to flinch, hoping that Pete wasn't tainting his jacket.

Before he got the chance to thank Pete for his encouraging words, the door opened, and Gerard's gaze shot up. He almost passed out then and there, not only because Pete's arms around his waist were slowing the flow of oxygen to his brain but also because of the man that just walked in. Frank wasn't even wearing the most impressive clothing, just some ripped skinny jeans and an oversized hoodie. But the sleeves hung past his hands and his hair was windswept and there were grazes on his knees and his cheeks were rosy from the cold and Gerard thought he couldn't look more perfect if he tried. He gestured weakly for Frank to come over, which he did - timidly, and eyeing Pete warily.

It was then that Gerard realized that he was probably giving off the wrong impression by hugging his brother's boyfriend, so shrugged him off and awkwardly pointed at him. "Pete."

Frank's face lit up with what could only be relief and he caught Gerard by surprise when he embraced him. A bubbly feeling erupted inside of Gerard and he couldn't help but smile. _Screw butterflies_ , he thought, _there are fucking bats in my stomach_. He squeezed Frank against his chest, shut his eyes briefly and inhaled the shorter man's scent. He smelt like firewood and cinnamon and absolute heaven.

"Ah," Pete said, once the hug was disbanded - far too quickly for Gerard's liking. "You must be Frank."

"I am. You're Pete, right? Mikey's boyfriend?" Frank shook Pete's hand politely. Gerard lowered his gaze in an attempt to hide his embarrassment. Could Pete be any more obvious? He made it seem like Gerard mentioned Frank all the time, which was true, but Frank didn't need to know that.

Pete blushed and giggled slightly at the mention of Mikey. "Yeah."

"Well, Pete, it was great chatting to you, but the store is closing now and we have to go. You've got the keys to the apartment, right? Mikey should be home in fifteen. See you later!" And on that note, Gerard ushered Pete out the door and dragged a giggling Frank out with him by the hand as he locked up. "Let's go," he said, once Pete had reoriented himself and was making his way down the street. Gerard released Frank's hand, not wanting to seem too clingy. He looked down at Frank, waiting for directions, and missed the smaller man's disappointed glance down at their no longer joined hands.

"My car's just 'round the corner." Frank said shyly. Then, so quietly that Gerard almost missed it, Frank spoke and blushed violently, staring intently at his feet. "You look good." He shook his head. "Better than good. You took my breath away."

Gerard smiled at the dirty pavement. "You look simply angelic."

"You are quite the charmer, Gerard Way." Frank shook his head, a smile tugging at his lips. He approached a car and opened the door, bowing dramatically before it. "After you, gorgeous."

Gerard just blushed and climbed into the car. His pulse was racing so fast he was sure Frank would be able to hear his heartbeat. "So, uh, what movie are we seeing?"

"Fuck. I forgot to check if there was anything worth watching." Frank rested his forehead on the steering wheel. Then he sprung up, smirking goofily. "But hey, anything's worth watching if I'm seeing it with you."

"Shut up." Gerard grinned. "You're too sweet."

"And you're too adorable, but you don't see me complaining, do you?"

"Okay, Mr Flirtatious, that's enough, or we'll never make it to the movie," Gerard rolled his eyes. Frank started up the car and headed down the road. They made comfortable small talk about Watchmen and the superiority of coffee over tea (Frank was a madman, in Gerard's eyes, for choosing dead leaves over caffeine, but Frank was cute so he was excused of such a crime) and Gerard felt his tension disappear. It was like he'd known Frank his whole life; Gerard liked to think that them meeting was meant to be. He was never a big believer in fate, but now he hoped for it to be true.

When they got to the cinemas, the only films playing were a kids movie, a rom-com and a horror film, all of which started in five minutes. The latter was the obvious choice, but seeing as they were so late, it was sold out, as was the first option, so they were forced to see some sappy love story that they knew the ending of before it even started.

"On the upside," Frank whispered, lips dangerously close to Gerard's ear. Gerard forced himself not to shiver at the sensation. "We can make fun of everyone else here and yell out spoilers if we want."

Gerard snorted. "You want to be _that_ guy?"

Frank shrugged and kicked his feet up on the empty seat in front of them. "I'll be whatever you want me to be, sweetheart."

"Stop it!" Gerard giggled. "We'll never be able to take it slow if you keep that up."

***

Somehow, Frank's arm was around Gerard's shoulders by the end of the film - which was possibly the most cringey, sickening thing Gerard had ever forced his eye balls to watch - and Gerard didn't mind in the slightest.

They were silent as they walked out. Frank had kept close, his arm now wrapped around Gerard's waist. Gerard felt slightly self-conscious - he'd never had much confidence about his weight, and now Frank could probably feel how soft he was. But what could he do, push the guy away? No way in hell would he be rejecting Frank anytime soon.

"Gerard?" Frank had removed his arm and was standing before Gerard. Gerard blinked a few times, looking around subtly. He'd been caught up in his thoughts and he hadn't noticed that they were already in the parking lot. He didn't want Frank to leave, didn't want to have to go home without him. As terrible as the movie was, Frank's constant criticism and childish humour had made it the best film Gerard had ever seen. He kicked some leaves stubbornly, annoyed that Frank had to go. That he had any commitments that weren't Gerard.

"Mm?" Gerard mumbled.

"I'd love to see you again," Frank said. He looked at Frank, who was so tantalizingly close and looking at him suggestively through his dark lashes. Gerard blinked again, trying to remember what it was he had said. When he realized, a big stupid grin broke out across his face, all of his sadness about Frank leaving disappearing instantaneously.

"I'd like that."

"How about now? I mean, like, do you want to go out to dinner with me?"

Gerard didnt trust himself enough to speak, so just nodded enthusiastically.

"Rad," Frank smiled.

Gerard boldly reached out and pulled the other man against him. Frank let out a content sigh and relaxed into him, arms circling around his waist and face burrowing into his chest. Gerard felt happy, and didn't let go for a long time. Not that Frank would have let him, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have like five more chapters written but I need to edit the shit out of them -_-  
> Also my cat keeps chewing on my Rocksound magazines and I'm not okay (ha) with that.  
> Thanks for reading!!


	3. The White Arcade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank is touchy and Gerard is totally into it.

It was cold outside. So cold, in fact, that Gerard's apartment window was frosted over. He would be screwed if it cracked, his heater was terrible to begin with, and he and Mikey didn't exactly have the funds to fix it. As welcoming as the delicate snowflakes and pure white blanket that coated the city appeared, the temperature was bitter, and at this time of year, it was not ideal to have a useless radiator. Luckily, Gerard had other ways of keeping warm. Namely, Frank, the world's best hot water bottle (in Gerard's opinion, at least. Not that he would let anyone else test it out).

When they first sat down on Gerard's couch to watch Alien together, they were both sitting inches away from each other. Those inches eventually ceased to exist as Frank crept closer. To keep warm, Frank had explained, but Gerard knew better. He'd learned that Frank was a very touchy-feely guy - he liked to be close to Gerard. This had taken a little getting used to, as Gerard typically hated people touching him. He was fine with touching other people, tackling Mikey, hugging friends, but signs of romantic affection were different. He certainly wasn't fat, but he wasn't strictly thin either, and his weight was one of his biggest insecurities. But now Frank was curled up by his side, a hand on his chest tracing miscellaneous patterns into his shirt and a leg wrapped abstractly around his own, and Gerard found that he didn't mind. It had taken a while for Gerard to realize that it was okay to touch Frank like that, too, because he doubted himself so often. But after being told many times, Gerard finally believed that on some level, for a reason he didn't see, Frank liked him. And that meant he could hold the tiny man whenever he wanted. 

"I still can't believe Jones lives," Gerard said, only half-watching the movie by now. Frank was much more interesting. He tightened the arm that was around Frank's shoulders. "The cats are usually the first to go. And why did they take a cat into space anyway?"

"Mm hm," Frank hummed, snuggling his face into Gerard's side.

"Hey." Gerard poked Frank's cheek. "You can't go to sleep, it's only five."

"But you're comfy and you smell good," Frank mumbled.

Gerard shifted and Frank groaned. "C'mon. We're gonna go out."

"But it's cold!"

Gerard rolled his eyes. "When has that stopped you in the past?" A couple days ago, Frank had practically dragged Gerard to an ice skating rink, and was shivering so hard that Gerard thought he was having a seizure and drove him to the hospital. A few days before that, he'd taken Gerard out for ice cream despite the negative temperature, and Mikey had called Gerard crazy when he came home with blue lips and a dizzy grin. A week before _that_ , they'd gone to feed ducks at the park, but it was so cold the ducks weren't even there. Where the fuck they went had Frank stumped. So yeah, the cold never seemed to phase Frank in the past. Gerard thought he just wanted to cuddle on the couch some more, which warmed his heart enough to brave the snow. "Get your coat. Let's go."

"You're lucky you're pretty," Frank said quietly as he rose from the sofa, and Gerard shoved him playfully. He handed Frank the big puffy coat he had worn on the trip to the apartment. Frank had heavy-duty winter gear due to his awful immune system, and Gerard thought he looked adorable in his marshmallow-like attire. He smiled at Frank as he slipped on a rain coat over the leather jacket he was already wearing. "Aw, fuck, I forgot my gloves."

"No you didn't." Gerard plucked the ridiculous skeleton fingerless gloves from Frank's back pocket and handed them to him. They were completely useless, and Gerard had told him that, but Frank insisted that they 'looked so cool they scared off the cold.'

Frank grinned and slipped them on. "Baby, you've always got my back."

Gerard slung his arm around Frank's shoulders again, looking down at the smaller man. Frank was smiling up at him, blatantly staring at his lips, like he often did. They had been seeing each other for almost a month now, and Gerard still hadn't kissed Frank, or vice versa. Gerard was pretty sure Frank was waiting for him to kiss him, and it wasn't that he didn't want to, it was just that the timing wasn't right. Gerard was a hopeless romantic at heart, and he wanted the moment to be perfect. So unfortunately for Frank, until then, he'd have to keep waiting. "You ready to go?"

"As ready as I'll ever be. Why are we facing the blizzard, again?"

"Stop being so dramatic." Gerard opened the door and beckoned for Frank to exit. "I'm going to take you somewhere special."

Frank smiled at his feet and snuck his hand into Gerard's back pocket. "Will there be food? I'm hungry."

"We can pick up something on the way." Gerard pushed open the door to leave the building and was met with an icy blast of wind. He flinched, and shielded Frank with his body on the way out. Gerard didn't want Frank to get sick, obviously, and had absolutely no problem sacrificing himself for the other man. He'd take a cold for Frank anyday.

Frank smiled up at him, noticing the relief from the cold. "I'm going to buy you flowers."

"Flowers?"

"Flowers."

"Why? Don't you have allergies?"

"Because I want to be romantic and sweep you off your feet. And if flowers is the place to start, so be it."

***

"This is your special outing? An arcade?" Frank laughed.

"Hey, this is practically where I grew up."

"I thought the comic book store was practically where you grew up."

"I grew up all over the place. I was a mess." Gerard chuckled, accidentally hinting at something deeper. He hoped Frank didn't pick up on it.

Frank rubbed his face on Gerard's shoulder affectionately. "A beautiful mess."

"Oh, you." Gerard dropped the arm that was secured around the other man's waist and raced over to a machine. "Fuck, yes."

"Joust? Really?"

"Stop doubting my life choices." Gerard pushed some coins into the machine and selected two player. "I'm gonna beat your sorry ass."

"You wish." Frank mashed the button and swiveled the joystick aimlessly, causing Gerard to look at him quizzically. His character was flying all around the screen not achieving anything at all, and he looked like a mad man, tongue sticking out and hair flopping on his forehead. Gerard was so distracted by his confusion that he died almost instantaneously, and Frank turned to him with a smirk on his face. "Beat my sorry ass, huh?"

"You are unbelievable."

"Unbelievably better than you at Joust."

"Rematch," Gerard challenged. Frank nodded with a grin. Gerard added more coins and focused on the screen, intent on winning this round. He was doing pretty well, until he noticed two things; Frank's character was crouched in a little crevice, motionless, and there was a hand creeping up under his shirt. He released the controls and whipped his head around to see Frank's smug face as he splayed his fingers against the bare skin of Gerard's lower back. Frank slid his hand up Gerard's spine, causing him to shiver. He stared at Frank. Then he heard _GAME OVER_ and pushed him away. "You're a cheater!"

"I would never." Frank place a hand over his heart, pretending to be offended. "What an awful accusation. I'd leave right now if you weren't such a hot piece of ass."

"Stop being such a smooth son of a bitch!" Gerard slapped Frank's shoulder.

Frank winked and pulled Gerard over to another machine. Gerard grinned when he saw the title of the game. Mortal Kombat. Gerard used to spend hours on end playing this game, and hadn't lost a match in at least seven years. Maybe that was due to the fact that his main competitor was Pete, who was absolutely hopeless - something about not wanting to cause the characters pain; that man wouldn't hurt a fly if it beat him with a mallet. "You up for a bet, gorgeous?"

"Bring it on."

"Alright, beautiful. I win, I get to kiss you. You win, you get to kiss me." Frank suggested, sounding hesitant. He seemed just as nervous about their first kiss as Gerard was. It was like it needed to be special to comfirm that this was as significant as it felt. Their connection felt like a rare one, to Gerard - a romance that only comes once in a blue moon. It felt so much like destiny that Gerard was almost sure of it. The chances of them meeting, two people in seven billion, were so slim, yet here they were, together, and Gerard was the happiest he had ever been.

"You're on, hot shot." Gerard cracked his knuckles and stepped forward, placing his hands over the controls. He selected his character - Sindel was awesome, no matter what anyone else said - and groaned when Frank chose Jax like the basic bitch he was. Then, the second the game told them to fight, Gerard skillfully tapped combinations into the machine, barely looking down at the buttons. He jumped and kicked and punched and it was all a blur until it was over and yep, he had absolutely crushed Frank. _FINISH HIM_ , the machine told him. Gerard smiled sweetly at Frank and did just that, earning a _FATALITY_.

"Well, well, well. I'm impressed." Frank reached up and wrapped his arms around Gerard's neck, twirling the curls at the nape of his neck around his fingers abstractly. "Now you get to kiss me," Frank said, barely above a whisper. Gerard's breath hitched in his throat when Frank started to lean in, and suddenly, he couldn't do it. Now wasn't the time to kiss Frank. It wasn't magical enough, and Gerard hadn't had time to prepare. His lips were surely hopelessly chapped and his arms were still hanging awkwardly by his sides. _Fuck fuck fuck_. He didn't want to reject Frank, but he wanted the kiss to be phenomenal, something he'd never forget.

"Not so fast," Gerard smirked, hoping his voice sounded more confident than he thought it did. He tilted Frank's head to the side with a hand on his chin, and Frank looked positively mesmerized. Gerard softly pressed his lips to Frank's tattooed neck, just below his ear. He whimpered, collapsing into Gerard's arms. Gerard was taken by surprise, but continued to pepper the other man's neck in slow, sloppy kisses. He felt Frank's hands tighten in his hair, pulling slightly, and couldn't help but let out a soft moan into Frank's neck. He wasn't sure how long this went on, but when he stopped there were people looking at him strangely. Frank let out a sigh.

"You know, you drive me absolutely crazy." Frank grinned once he had regained his bearings. He detached himself from Gerard and yanked him over to another machine.

***

"Gerard, you're the best." Frank sighed and leaned his head awkwardly on Gerard's shoulder as they walked. The sky was darkening, yet still they roamed the streets, hand in hand, not a care in the world.

"The best what?"

"I don't know. Person? You're the best human I know. I like you a whole lot."

"I like you too, Frankie."

Frank kicked up some snow, clinging tighter to Gerard's hand. Gerard liked the feeling of Frank's fingers laced with his own. It felt so right, like their hands had been moulded to fit together. Gerard sighed happily, and Frank slowed their pace, slightly detaching from where he was wrapped around Gerard's arm.

"Hey, you're not... uh, you're not seeing anyone else, are you? Like, romantically?" Frank asked nervously. "I mean, it's okay if you are, we haven't known each other long and you might wanna keep your options open, I just... I'm only seeing you, and I kinda want to know now so I don't get my hopes up. About us, I mean. 'Cause like, we always say that we like each other, and we haven't gone three days without seeing each other since we met, and... I don't know. I really, really like you, more than you probably know. I... Oh, man, this sounds stupid, but... I feel something real here. I feel like myself around you, you know? Like you won't judge me, like I don't have to be afraid that what I say will scare you off. You... You're so special to me, Gerard, and I just want to know if I mean half as much to you as you do to me."

Gerard was awestruck. Frank thought he was seeing other people? Gerard found that thought almost laughable. He felt lucky to have one person, let alone someone as amazing as Frank, be even the slightest bit into him. And now he couldn't imagine being interested in anyone who wasn't Frank. And Frank had been right, they said that they liked each other _very_ often, and Gerard was beginning to wonder if that was the early stages of being in love. He looked down at Frank, pondering this. Not only was the man absolutely adorable, but he was one of the kindest, most like-minded people he had ever met. He liked comic books, he adored horror movies, and he was simply gorgeous inside and out. He made Gerard feel happy for the first time in what felt like forever. He made him anticipate his arrival, miss him when he was right by his side, hopeless when he was gone. Gerard thought then that he could definitely say he was falling in love with Frank, and when that realization dawned on him, Frank's little monologue seemed all the more absurd. Surely Frank could see how insane Gerard was for him? Gerard had never been the best at concealing his emotions, not like Mikey. It must have been written all over his face, a neon sign that said 'I'm falling for Frank Iero.'

"Oh... There's someone else, isn't there? That's... That's okay, I..." Frank slipped his hand from Gerard's and stepped to the side slightly, sounding absolutely heartbroken.

Gerard shook his head furiously, jumping in front of Frank. He was taking the thoughtful silence the completely wrong way. He placed his hands on either side of Frank's face in order to enforce eye contact. "No! Frank, I... I'm not the best at expressing how I feel, but... You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'm usually pretty good with words, but you leave me speechless. I can't think of any way to tell you anything, really, but just know that there's no one else, there never will be, you're the bee's knees and I don't think I would be able to live without you in my life now that I know how amazing it is with you in it."

Frank beamed. "Did you just call me the bee's knees?"

"Shut up." Gerard traced icy circles with the pads of his thumbs across Frank's warm rosy cheeks. Frank was looking up at him, eyes sparkling in the dim light from the street lamp above them. Powdery snow was falling gently around them. It was like a scene from a movie; too perfect to be true. Then, of course, a large clump of frozen water landed in Gerard's hair, but he didn't care. He shook his head like a wet dog, and Frank laughed softly and placed his hands on Gerard's stomach.

 _This is the moment_ , Gerard thought. _Frank knows it too_.

Gerard leaned in, slowly and anxiously. His body was screaming for him to just do it. His brain was on a different plain altogether, messily reminding him of all the negative possibilities. _Screw it_ , he told himself. _I'm gonna kiss him_. His hands were shaking, and not from the cold. He smiled nervously and Frank smiled back, placing his gloved hands over Gerard's to steady him. He nodded slightly, asking him to go ahead. Gerard took a deep breath.

He was close enough now that he could feel the quick steamy exhales Frank was releasing on his face, and was able to notice how the closer he got, the more laboured Frank's breathing became. Frank's eyes fluttered closed and Gerard looked down at his lips. They were slightly purple from the cold, but looked welcoming nonetheless, parted and wet and just asking to be kissed.

When Gerard's lips so much as brushed Frank's, Gerard froze. It was too much for him, too surreal for him to be kissing Frank. Luckily for him, Frank gently pushed his face up so that their lips would fall delicately together. It was better than Gerard could have ever imagined - and he had thought about it a lot. Gerard became lost in the feeling, numb to everything around him. There was Frank and only Frank, as far as he was concerned. He could not recall a time when he was not kissing Frank, because surely he was never alive if he didn't feel as good as he did right now.

Frank tasted salty and sweet. Gerard could feel the freezing cold metal of Frank's lip ring against his tongue as Frank moved his lips slowly against Gerard's, barely performing any motion at all, but enough to drive Gerard out of his mind. Frank stole the very air from Gerard's lungs, even though Gerard would have given it to him willingly. He would hand over his very being for another second in this moment.

The kiss remained soft and simple and shallow, but neither of them needed anything more at the moment. Gerard felt weak in the knees and held onto Frank's face tighter to keep himself from slipping away. Frank responded by reaching out and grasping desperately at Gerard's jacket, as if he was holding on for dear life. Dizziness washed over Gerard, and he felt drunk on Frank. It was a high better than alcohol could ever be, and ten times more addictive - which was a big call, especially for Gerard.

Gerard pulled away slightly, partially for air, and partially afraid that he would overdose on the feeling and fall over the edge. Frank let out a ragged breath and kept his eyes closed.

"Frank?" Gerard asked hesitantly, after a few seconds of silence. Suddenly, he was terrified; that had surely been the best moment of his whole life, but now he had given Frank the power to rip his heart into pieces. He dropped his hands to rest loosely on Frank's waist.

Frank bit his bottom lip and slowly opened his eyelids, looking up at Gerard, eyes glazed over. "Been waiting my whole fuckin' life for you to kiss me."

Gerard let out a shaky laugh, unbelievably relieved. "We've known each other for a month."

"Exactly." Frank grinned.

"You make no fucking sense." Gerard shook his head, still smiling, his face only inches from Frank's. Their closeness was suffocating and heavenly at the same time.

Frank snaked his hands up Gerard's chest and over his shoulders. One held the back of his neck and the other crept into his hair, and Gerard tried his hardest not to gasp. "You know what this means?" Frank whispered, tantalisingly close. Gerard shook his head, spellbound by Frank's lips. He watched them move eagerly and wondered when he'd be able to kiss them again. "I'm gonna be kissing you all the time now."

" _All_ the time?"

Frank nodded. "You're gonna have a hard time getting me off of you."

"Somehow, I don't think I'll be trying too hard."

Frank shifted, standing on his tip-toes so that he was seeing eye to eye with Gerard. "I gotta ask... Why didn't you kiss me back at the arcade? Not that I'm complaining or anything, fuck, I felt lightheaded after that, but I practically gave you a handwritten invitation. I was starting to think that, I don't know, you're not attracted to me or something."

"Attraction is _definitely_ not a problem here. Have you ever looked in a mirror? You're gorgeous. It's just, I think that this deserves more recognition than a rushed kiss in an arcade." Gerard gestured between them. Then he blushed, averted his gaze, and pulled at a thread on Frank's jacket. "I mean, you're different to anyone else I've dated, and I think you deserve so much more than I can give you. So I'll try my best to make everything perfect, but at the end of the day I'll never be good enough to deserve you in my life."

"Gerard, this doesn't have to be perfect. I don't care if I'm living in a cardboard box or a fucking mansion, as long as I'm with you, I'll be okay. You're absolutely perfect, and if our first kiss was behind a dumpster, so be it. Because it would still be our first kiss, the beginning of something amazing."

"How did I ever live without you?" Gerard thought out loud.

Frank grinned. "Can I kiss you now?"

"Anytime."

Frank's smile was as sweet as honey as he moved in for another kiss. Gerard melted under his touch again, went numb under his touch again, lost his mind under his touch again. Yeah, it was freezing cold, the snowfall had turned from mesmerizing to troublesome, and the street lamp above them was flickering and spitting dangerous sparks, but Gerard was kissing Frank, and no amount of discomfort around them could compete.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you didn't already notice, I love old-school arcade games.  
> Sidenote: The more chapters I write the more I hate myself for the titles.


	4. The True Lives Of Gerard and Frank

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard is nervous and Frank is a sweetheart.

Gerard rocked nervously on his heels. He didn't know why he was so anxious about seeing Frank's band, but the thought made his heart race. What if they weren't as good as Gerard had built them up to be in his mind? What if Frank's band members didn't like him? What if Frank forgot about him and he was left in the group of strangers after the show? Gerard couldn't decide which of those options was the worst.

He was waiting out the back of the venue, and there were about a dozen other people dressed similarly to him. Band tees, ripped jeans, black boots. Gerard felt half like he fit in and half like he was just another face in the crowd.

"Hey! You must be the boyfriend," a man with a scruffy beard and a friendly face said. He had come out of the backstage door that Gerard didn't even see open. Gerard looked behind him to make sure he wasn't referring to anyone else before facing the man and shrugging. The man laughed and beckoned for him to come inside. "Frank's talked about you enough that I feel like I know you personally. And I could pick you from a line up without ever actually having seen a photo," the man said as an answer to Gerard's unspoken question.

"Now I feel bad that I don't know who you are," Gerard said quietly, following the man through the twists and turns of the building's corridors, wondering how he had memorized the way.

"I'm Neil. Lead guitar." He stuck out his hand for Gerard to shake, which was extremely awkward when they were trying to navigate the halls at the same time.

"I'm Gerard." Gerard almost physically face palmed after saying that. "I mean, you obviously already knew that, but I though it would make for a formal introduction-"

"There's no need to be nervous, dude. If Frank likes you, so do we."

Gerard simply nodded and decided that it would be best if he didn't speak.

"Frank's around here somewhere. He had to fix the guitar string he snapped - on _my_ guitar, I'll have you know. That bastard breaks everything he touches." Neil peered around boxes and walls, and Gerard trailed after him like a lost puppy looking for his owner. They ended up in an open room that lead onto the stage, where another band was already playing. They were pretty good, although Gerard thought their lead singer was nowhere near as hot as Pencey Prep's. "Frank! He's here!"

Gerard heard Frank before he saw him. In fact, he felt Frank before he saw him too. There was a squeal from behind him and a pair of arms wrapped tightly around his waist. "Hi," Frank said, resting his chin on Gerard's shoulder.Gerard thought it must have looked funny from behind, because he knew very well that Frank was too short to rest on his shoulder without standing on his tip toes. He giggled at the thought of Frank straining to be tall enough.

"Hi." Gerard smiled.

"I'll leave you two alone for a little while then." Neil smirked and walked away.

"So you told them I'm your boyfriend?" Gerard grinned. He didn't know what he expected, really. Although it had been two months, Gerard was still crippled by self-doubt, and didn't expect Frank to be proud of the fact that they were together. But, obviously Frank had to like him at least a _little_ bit if he had stuck around this long.

Frank dropped his arms and walked around so he was facing Gerard. Gerard took in his appearance - which was difficult in the low light of backstage - and barely noticed his all black outfit, entirely denim and leather and all kinds of attractive, because Frank was also wearing thick black eyeliner. And Gerard was _really_ into it. "Fuck. We haven't talked about that, have we? Labels and shit. Damn it, I'm sorry. I just kinda assumed this was serious enough... I can tell them-"

It had never crossed Gerard's mind that they were anything other than boyfriends. Sure, they had never talked about it, but they held hands, went on dates and made out like there was no tomorrow. "Frankie, there is nothing I would love more than to be your boyfriend."

Frank's smile was bright enough to blind all of New Jersey, and he jumped into Gerard's arms, probably hoping for Gerard to spin him around or something romantic like that, but unfortunately Gerard was weak and fell flat on his back. Frank was hardly phased, smothering Gerard in kisses as he lay on the floor. "Fuck. You're so perfect," Frank said before kissing Gerard again. "And you're _my_ boyfriend."

Gerard smiled fondly and combed his fingers through Frank's hair. Frank practically purred and leaned into his touch. "I'm the luckiest guy in the world."

"I'm officially allowed to get jealous. And possessive. And clingy. Man, you're gonna hate me."

"You're already clingy," Gerard teased. He rolled his gazed down to prove his point, emphasizing the fact that Frank was straddling his hips and touching his chest. "And I could never hate you. I'm kinda really into it when you're all over me."

"That's good. Because I can't seem to keep my hands off of you." Frank ducked his head down and pressed his lips against Gerard's, hands burying themselves in his hair. Gerard couldn't help but moan into his mouth when Frank tugged on his hair slightly. Apparently that pleased Frank, because he arched his back into him. Gerard gripped Frank's jacket, wishing it wasn't there at all. He felt the familiar giddiness return; he didn't think he would ever get used to kissing Frank. He deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue into Frank's mouth. "Fuck," Frank groaned against Gerard's lips. He ground his hips down into Gerard's, sucking on the other man's tongue. Gerard writhed underneath him, curling his fingers in the fabric of Frank's jacket, pulling his body as flush against his own as was physically possible.

"Frank, we're-" a voice said. "Oh, um... I'm sorry..."

Frank slowly peeled his upper body off of Gerard, looking vaguely annoyed. Gerard was unbelievably embarrassed, averting his gaze from the stranger that stood awkwardly before them. Frank planted his fists on his hips disapprovingly. "Damn it, Shaun. What?"

"We're on in five." The man timidly gestured to the stage. Frank sighed dramatically and pulled himself up off the floor, holding out a hand for Gerard. He helped Gerard up but didn't let go of his hand.

"Shaun, this is Gerard." Frank wrapped himself around Gerard's arm.

The man chuckled. "I figured."

"Baby, I've got to go. But I'll see you after the show, yeah?" Frank looked up at Gerard with sparkling eyes. His lips were swollen and pink, hair a mess, and jacket askew. Gerard's heart ached just at the sight of him. He nodded and gave Frank a quick peck. "I'll make tonight extra good. Just for you."

Gerard reluctantly let him go, making his way down some stairs and into the crowd. He was almost at the front, and could see Frank clearly as he introduced Pencey Prep. He could also see the hungry looks the people around him were giving his boyfriend. It made him nervous - Frank could do so much better than him, practically everyone here was far more attractive than Gerard and almost all of them were already eyeing Frank.

But then Frank made eye contact with Gerard, smiled sweetly and spoke into the microphone. "My gorgeous boyfriend is here tonight, and I won't point him out because I know he'd hate the attention, but I can see him perfectly from here and I want you all to know that if anyone touches him I will personally beat your ass to the darkest depths of hell." Gerard beamed, his doubt melting into nothingness. Frank understood him like no one else did, knew just the right things to say to ease his constant anxieties. He winked at Gerard once before strumming his guitar and starting to play.

And boy, was it a sight. Gerard's jaw dropped just seconds into the performance. They were good. They were really good. Frank yelled the lyrics and thrashed around with his guitar, giving each and every song his all. Everyone in the band was, playing their parts to make one incredible sound, but of course, Gerard couldn't take his eyes off of Frank. He was sweating from the stage lights, spitting occasionally from the adrenaline, and was that _blood_ on his guitar?

About halfway through the show, Frank yelled "hey, hands off!" at the girl next to Gerard who was dancing just a little bit too close to him. Most people would find this behaviour rather overprotective, if not smothering, but Gerard loved it. It made him feel like Frank really, genuinely cared. It was something he'd never had before, someone wanting him all to themselves. It also turned him on a little bit, as did watching Frank play. Gerard had always had a thing for musicians, and Frank was no exception. The whole concert, Gerard felt his insides twisting from watching Frank. He couldn't wait to kiss as much of Frank as he could reach when he finished performing.

Gerard stood at the barrier and waited once the show was over, watching everyone filter out. Pencey were the last act of the night, so soon Gerard was left alone with an empty stage and a trash littered floor. A few people were left wandering the now quiet room, and girl walked up and leaned on the railing next to Gerard. "You're 'im, aren't you?"

Gerard just blinked at her.

"The boyfriend," she said, as if it was obvious. "Why else would you be waitin' 'round this late, starin' at the door like that? Man, you're a lucky guy. He loves you."

"He... We're... I mean, uh-" Gerard stuttered. _Fuck, why' are you like this,_ he asked himself. _You're not even into chicks and you're making a fool of yourself_. "Frankie and I, we only met... We've only been going out for two months."

The girl ignored him. "He's just as lucky to have you. Obviously you love 'im too."

Gerard pushed his thoughts about love and Frank in the same context aside. He was too violently horny to think about that. He called Mikey once the girl had wandered off.

"Hey, Gee, how was the concert?" Mikey asked, picking up on the second ring. What a loser.

"Amazing," Gerard gushed. He thought back to Frank jumping around the stage, guitar like an extra limb, performing his heart out. He looked down at his jeans. _Stay down, tiger_ , he ordered. "I need you to do me a favour."

"I'm not bringing you a coffee."

"No, I need you to stay at Pete's tonight," Gerard murmured. Mikey gasped. Gerard rubbed his temple, regretting calling his brother at all. "Don't say a fucking thing, just leave the apartment."

"My big brother's getting laid!" Mikey shouted. A voice in the background yelled something back. "Pete says congratulations."

"Fuck you both."

"Tell Frank I say use a condom."

"No fuckin' way," Gerard frowned, a pink tint on his cheeks. He was most definitely not going to deliver Mikey's message. "Are you at Pete's already?"

"Yup. You can have the apartment all to yourselves, you filthy animals."

"Shut the fuck up Mikey, I swear to god..." Gerard growled. "I don't know how Pete puts up with you."

"He's fucking in love with me, that's how. And I don't blame him, I'm fabulous," Mikey said. Gerard could hear Pete mumbling something in the background that sounded vaguely like an insult. "I love you too, honey!" Mikey yelled at him.

"Whatever. I'm gonna go find Frank."

"Ride him like a roller coaster, Gee!"

Gerard stared at his phone in disgust for a few seconds before hanging up, not even bothering to respond. Mikey was such a fucking weirdo.

Eventually, Frank burst out of the backstage door, sweat-drenched and panting, with a giant smile on his face. He scanned the room quickly before surging over to Gerard, eagerly bouncing on his heels. "Did you like it?"

Gerard took one look at him with his eyeliner and sweat-slick hair a and instead of responding, Gerard pushed him against a wall and attacked him with his mouth. He lifted him a little, and Frank got the message and jumped, wrapping his legs around Gerard's waist. He let out a giggle, tugging on Gerard's jacket as his lips traveled down his jawline to suck on his neck, the sweet spot just below his ear. "Frankie," Gerard groaned, biting his neck. Frank gasped. Gerard pressed his body harder against Frank's and moved a hand down to grasp the younger man's thigh.

"What's gotten into you?" Frank laughed. He didn't complain, though, only ran his hands down Gerard's chest. Gerard sucked and nibbled and lapped at Frank's neck, causing him to whimper slightly. "Gee, Gerard, baby... Fuckin'... Keep doin' that... Yeah..." His breaths were drawn out and his fingers clenched and relaxed repeatedly around the fabric of Gerard's shirt.

"You were so fuckin' good," Gerard mumbled. He kissed Frank, who almost immediately pried his lips open and licked into his mouth. It was a dirty kiss, one not meant to be shared in public. Not that either of them cared. Gerard sucked Frank's bottom lip into his mouth, fiddling with the piercing with his tongue. Frank's eyes rolled back into his head in pleasure. Gerard released his lip with a pop, moving his mouth to hover over Frank's ear. "Mikey's not home."

"Then why the fuck are we still here?" Frank removed himself from Gerard and grabbed his hand. He followed blindly as Frank yanked him backstage. It was a whirlwind of 'bye's and 'great show's as Frank hurried to gather his stuff. One of his band mates tried to strike up a conversation with Gerard, asking him if he enjoyed the concert, but Frank just fixed him a cold glare and raced off with Gerard in tow. When they got to Frank's car, Gerard found himself in the drivers seat with Frank's hand on his leg, not quite sure how he had ended up there. "You look so good tonight, Gerard."

"I look the same as always. You're the one who looks gorgeous tonight. Fuck, I just wanna... I just wanna touch you." Gerard shifted uncomfortably in the car seat and started driving to his apartment. He had developed a significant problem thanks to Frank, and it was getting painful. He hoped Frank hadn't noticed.

"Then I guess you always look good." Frank leaned in, shaky breaths burning into Gerard's neck. "And when we get back to your apartment," he whispered, hands travelling all over Gerard's chest and thighs and almost close enough to his crotch for him to squirm. A shiver ran down his spine. "You can touch me as much as you like."

Gerard moaned. Then he panicked, covering his mouth with his hand and swerving on the road slightly, earning an angry honk from the car behind. "Oh my god I'm so sorry I'm just not very good at dirty talk and-"

"Hey, baby, that was nothing to be ashamed of. It was really fucking hot." Frank smiled encouragingly. "Hell, when I'm alone, sometimes I'll just think about you looking at me and moan."

"Jesus Christ," Gerard groaned. "You're killing me here."

"Then drive faster. I can't wait to kiss every inch of your pretty body."

Gerard sped up, hoping there were no police around.

The second they shut the apartment door, Frank was all over Gerard, lips sliding down his neck as he tugged impatiently at Gerard's jacket. "Frank," Gerard choked. "Frankie, wait."

Frank looked up at him with a frown and Gerard felt like he'd just kicked a puppy.

"I just wanna make sure Mikey's gone," Gerard said, sweeping Frank's fringe out of his eyes. He checked every room in the house - twice - for his brother or some kind of filming apparatus. Mikey liked to have leverage over his brother, and Gerard thought that a sex tape would be the perfect blackmail. Once he was sure they were safe, he gently pulled Frank into his bedroom. He looked at his bed (now regretting his _Star Wars_ bedspread) and nervously fiddled with his hands. "Frankie, I'm not saying I don't want to do this, 'cause I really do, but I haven't done it in a while-"

"I don't care. I wouldn't care if you were a virgin or a fucking prostitute, because it's you. You're all I care about." Frank cupped his face, staring at him with an intimidating integrity. Gerard leaned down and gently pressed his lips to Frank's. He dug his fingers into Frank's hips as tongues and teeth intensified the kiss. Frank ripped off his jacket and Gerard's too, lust in his eyes and a filthy smile on his face. He fell on top of Gerard with a giggle as he was dragged onto the bed. Frank hovered over Gerard, hands on either side of his head. Their lips wouldn't, couldn't stop pressing together. Hesitantly, Gerard placed his hands on the back of Frank's thighs and moved them up slowly. Frank stopped kissing Gerard for a second to nod furiously. When Gerard finally summoned the courage to grab Frank's ass, Frank let out the most beautiful noise Gerard had ever heard and dropped his head so his fringe hung in Gerard's eyes. Gerard didn't mind.

Frank sat up a little and pulled off his shirt, which Gerard was grateful for. He wanted the fabric gone, but was still far too shy to make a move. Timidly, he reached up to trace the tattoos that were inked onto the pale skin of Frank's chest; once Frank had thrown his shirt to the ground like a fucking porn star, of course. Gerard touched him in awe, mesmerized as to how somebody could be this fascinating. His fingers moved lightly, as if Gerard was afraid he was going to break him. Frank smiled. He stroked Gerard's face fondly and kissed him without purpose, simply just to feel their lips fit together like a jigsaw puzzle and to know that what they had was real. Then he slipped his leg in between Gerard's and the pleasure of his erection finally getting attention was almost blinding. It felt so good that he almost didn't notice Frank starting to tug his shirt up. Almost.

Gerard grabbed Frank's wrists, eyes wide with fear. "Can we, uh... Could we maybe turn off the lights?"

Frank's smile slipped. "But I wanna see you." His gaze trickled down Gerard's body, before meeting his again. Frank's eyes were sparkling, alive and happy, and Gerard felt himself trust him. He nodded quickly, and helped Frank remove his shirt before he changed his mind. Which was only seconds after his Black Flag tee was thrown onto his bedroom floor, atop the growing pile of abandoned clothes. Frank was silent, staring at his half-naked body. All of Gerard's insecurities and doubts came rushing back in like horses from a racing booth, and he didn't know what to do, he was trapped, did he grab his shirt, or-

Then Frank spoke.

"You are so fucking beautiful."

And the defensive wall of anxiety that Gerard had just built up came crashing down. Frank lay his body, carefully, flat against Gerard's, and fixed his mouth on Gerard's chest, just below his collarbone. He lingered there for a few seconds before moving, zig-zagging his way down past Gerard's belly button, leaving wet, affectionate kisses in his wake. Every once in a while he would mumble something like 'perfect' or 'so pretty' against his stomach. Gerard wanted to cry. No one had ever put in this much effort into making him feel comfortable before. Granted, few had been given the opportunity, but Frank was here, doing this voluntarily, trying to ease Gerard's nerves and self confidence issues.

Still, Gerard flinched when Frank started to unbutton his jeans. Frank kissed the exposed skin of Gerard's hip and gave him an encouraging smile. "It's okay, Gee. I'm not gonna hurt you. I just wanna make you feel good. I wanna make you feel as beautiful as you are. I wanna let you know how much I appreciate you. We don't even have to have sex if you're not ready. We can watch _Planet Of The Apes_ , or order a pizza. Maybe both."

"No, I want to do this. I'm just... Scared. I've never slept with someone who's as important to me as you are. I just don't want to fuck this up, y'know?"

"The only thing that could fuck this up right now would be if you were hiding a vagina down there, which it's pretty clear you're not. Although, even that wouldn't turn me off you. I like you enough to bend my sexuality." Frank grinned.

"I don't know if that was meant to be sexy or something, because it definitely wasn't." Gerard snorted. Frank pouted and Gerard pulled his head down to kiss him. Humming into his mouth, Frank attempted for a second time to undo Gerard's pants. This time, Gerard didn't stop him. Frank wriggled down his body and peeled the tight jeans off his legs, and Gerard wasn't sure when he'd lost his shoes. Then it was just Gerard in his underwear, and Frank wearing way too much for his liking, licking up Gerard's inner thighs. Gerard moaned louder the further up he got, and he could feel Frank smile against his skin.

Once he reached the hem of Gerard's Batman boxers (another regrettable choice), he looked up at Gerard. "You ready?" Gerard took a deep breath, then nodded. Frank smiled and gently pulled down the material, slipping the underwear off completely. "Jesus fuck, even your dick is pretty," Frank cursed. He slowly kissed up Gerard's shaft, lingering at the head. Gerard was a writhing mess, clinging onto the sheets, squeezing his eyes shut and biting his lip hard enough to draw blood. Frank sucked the head of Gerard's dick softly, tongue lapping at the tip. He worked at the rest of it with one hand, wrist twisting expertly as he pulled up and down, other hand roughly rubbing himself through his jeans. Gerard moaned and swore and moaned again, feeling dizzier with every jerk, black spots dancing across his vision.

"Lemme," Gerard gasped, once he noticed Frank's hand slip into his pants. "Frankie, I wanna touch you." Gerard hated how desperate he sounded. Frank didn't need to be told twice, and removed his remaining clothing remarkably quickly. Gerard huffed a little at the loss of contact, but then took one look at Frank and practically drooled. He wanted - needed - to touch him, give Frank as much pleasure as he was giving Gerard. He licked his hand, from the top of his wrist up his fingers, and grabbed Frank's erection, sliding his slick palm up and down. And nope, Gerard had been wrong before. The sound that Frank made _then_ was the most beautiful noise he'd ever heard. It would be repeating over and over like a broken record in his head for weeks to come.

Frank sucked on Gerard's bottom lip as Gerard jacked him off, pulling away every so often to whimper. A drop of blood trickled down his lip, from where Gerard had been biting himself, and there was something strangely erotic about the vampiricy of Frank licking it off his face. "Gerard," Frank strained, stringing out his name like it was the only word he knew. "Gerard, you gotta stop. I'm... _Ahhh_ , Gee, I can't last much longer," Frank groaned, biting down on Gerard's shoulder.

Gerard let go. Frank let out a sigh. Then he looked up at the wall behind Gerard and frowned. "Gee?" He puffed.

"Yeah?"

"Can we take the sword off the wall? I don't think decapitation is very romantic."

Gerard snorted, and Frank took the sharp metal off its mount and placed it haphazardly on the floor next to the bed. Once the threat of severed heads was removed, he breathlessly kissed Gerard in as many places as he could reach, Gerard hopelessly chasing after his lips, desperate to feel them on his own.

"So, baby, you wanna top or bottom?" Frank purred once his breathing had settled completely.

"I don't mind." Gerard didn't look away from Frank's eyes, studying him for any sign of discomfort with the situation. Frank had been accommodating to his insecurities the whole night, and Gerard had barely remembered to check if he himself was okay. He realized he didn't even need to, though, because Frank was staring at him lovingly, an ecstatic smile on his face. "I haven't topped in a while, though, and I don't want to hurt you."

"It's alright, we can do that some other time. I'm gonna prep you, okay?" Frank kissed Gerard slowly, moving his hand down the dips and curves of the other man's body. Gerard grabbed Frank's hand and brought it back up to his face. Frank looked at him in confusion, until Gerard started sucking on two of his fingers. The sight was so lewd, so sexy, that Frank let out a ragged 'oh my god' and his balance slipped a little, causing their dicks to slide against each other slightly. Gerard's hips jerked up involuntarily, and he cried out at the sensation. Frank reacted similarly, rutting against Gerard a few times before calming down and pulling his fingers from Gerard's mouth. He pushed one finger, wet and warm and sticky, inside of Gerard, slowly, as not to hurt him. Gerard made a noise of unease that quickly transformed into a loud yell of Frank's name as he hit the right spot.

Frank added the second finger, scissoring him wider. Gerard tried his hardest to keep still. Once the third finger was in and the painful burning feeling had gone away, Frank fingered him for a little longer before pulling his hand away entirely. Gerard pointed at the bedside table and Frank reached over him to pull open a drawer, taking a condom and a bottle of lube out. Gerard took them from him and put the condom on Frank, causing multiple moans to erupt from him when Gerard lubed him up.

After lining himself up, Frank looked to Gerard for confirmation before carefully pushing in. Gerard admired his restraint; Frank truly was the most amazing person he'd ever met.

The feeling of Frank going deeper inside of him ripped a strangled cry from Gerard's throat. It was too good, felt too perfect, like pure ecstasy in Gerard's bloodstream. He dug his fingernails into Frank's back, hissing when he stopped moving. "It's all in now. You okay? We can stop whenever you want." Frank's voice was strained, and Gerard knew he couldn't hold still for much longer. He didn't mind, though, he was done with the niceties anyway. He wanted Frank to fuck him. And he told Frank to do just that. "Alright, Gee. I'm gonna move now," Frank grinned.

"Fucking do it, Frank," Gerard snapped. "We can have slow, loving sex later. Right now I need-" The words were stolen from his lips as Frank started to rock his hips into Gerard. "Oh _fuck_ yeah, Frankie," Gerard praised. He felt the pleasure building up in his stomach as Frank slid in and out of him. Frank was hot and sticky and _good_ , so good, and Gerard could do nothing but moan and scratch at Frank's back. He knew he wouldn't last long, but if the noises coming from Frank said anything, neither would he. It wasn't only that all the right spots were being hit in all the right ways, it was that it was Frank that was doing it that drove Gerard insane. Frank was the one making him feel this absolute bliss, which only doubled the pleasure. His brain started to white out when Frank found his prostate, repeatedly hitting the spot and pushing him to the edge. After a few minutes of a sensation so good it was almost painful, Frank started roughly jerking him off too, and that was enough for Gerard to reach his climax. He called out Frank's name, momentarily loosing all of his senses as he came hard enough to see nothing but white light and feel absolutely drained of all energy. Frank was riding out his own orgasm, sloppily sliding into Gerard in messy, uneven strokes.

Before Gerard knew it, Frank had pulled out and was collapsed on top of him, breathing heavily. Neither of them spoke for a long time. It was like the experience was too good to respond to verbally, nothing either of them said would be able to do it justice. Gerard licked his lips and sighed. Frank kissed his cheek fondly and lay his head back on his shoulder. "Oh my god. I just had sex with Gerard Way. Hottest guy in Jersey. And he fucking _moaned_ my name."

"Did he, now? 'Cause I heard that you yelled out his even louder."

"Probably did. Best sex I've ever had."

"Are you sure I wasn't too-"

"You weren't too anything. You were perfect," Frank insisted. He picked up his shirt off the floor and used it to wipe both of them up, throwing it back down with the knotted condom. He sighed and rested his head on Gerard's chest, arms wrapped around him protectively. Gerard pulled the sheets over them and held Frank close. "I need... Gee, I need to make you understand... I'm fuckin'... I'm head over heels for you. You have absolutely nothing to feel self-conscious about, because no matter what you do - hell, you could fucking stab me and I'd still tell you how gorgeous you look covered in blood. I think that you're simply breathtaking, stunning, flawless. And that's just your appearance. You're also kind, hilarious, artistic, interesting and a fucking genius. The point is, I want you to feel safe with me, because I'm not going anywhere."

Gerard took a long pause before replying. "I like you. I like you more than I've ever liked anyone. And that's why I need to ask... Frank, I'm twelve different shades of messed up." He took a deep breath to calm his nerves. "I... I've tried to fucking kill myself before. Do you really want to be with someone like me?"

"If you're twelve, I'm thirteen." Frank nuzzled deeper into Gerard's chest. "I've overdosed on almost every kind of drug out there; I've had my stomach pumped three fucking times, and those are just the times I remember. Do you really want to be with someone like me?"

Gerard pondered this. Of course he wanted to be with Frank. He was the perfect human in Gerard's eyes, and just because he had a dark past didn't mean he also had a dark future. But the same could also be said about Gerard, couldn't it? "I guess I just... I don't like myself, so how could anyone else?"

"I like you a lot." Frank shifted so he could see Gerard's expressions. "And I'm gonna try my hardest to get you to see yourself the same way I see you."

Gerard looked him. Frank was watching him with those big, beautiful hazel eyes, and it felt like he was staring into Gerard's soul. "Frankie, I'm scared," Gerard whispered.

"Why are you scared?" Frank sounded concerned. He gripped Gerard's hand tightly in his own. 

"You're everything I've ever wanted and more. You're just so perfect in every way, and... And I'm scared of losing you." Gerard closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to look at Frank when he continued. He didn't open up his heart to just anyone, and throwing his feelings out into the open was dangerous. Gerard felt unbelievably vulnerable and exposed, but felt the need to continue nonetheless. "I've become so dependent on you that I don't know how I could possibly go on without you. But any number of things could happen, this is all so fragile, one of us could get hit by a car, or you could find someone better, or your band could go on a world tour and never return. And still, I find myself falling for you more and more every day, every second. It's absolutely fucking terrifying, knowing that anything could tear us apart."

"This isn't as fragile as you think, Gerard. I like to believe that what we have is strong enough to conquer anything," Frank said firmly. "What you don't see is that I am just as dependent on you; I'm falling for you just as hard. I'd go to the ends of the earth just to see you smile. I'd throw myself in front of a train if it meant you were safe. I'd sell my soul to the fucking devil to get to kiss you just _once_. The difference is, I choose to not be afraid. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, as they say. I don't question how we got here, or think about how long we have left. Yeah, I could die in my sleep, but I'd still be happy that I got to spend my last few hours with you. I'm just fucking ecstatic that we met, that we got to know each other, that I get to call you my boyfriend. You're my everything, and like I said before, I'm not going anywhere."

"Promise you won't leave?" Gerard asked hopefully.

"Of course I won't leave." Frank wrapped his little finger around Gerard's and smiled childishly. "I'll stick by you as long as you'll have me."

Gerard kissed Frank's forehead, and held onto him like his life depended on it. Because in some ways, it did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hate the word chuckle, but sometimes it's unavoidable, y'know?
> 
> Thanks for reading!!


	5. May Mom Never Stop You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting Gerard's parents goes well, until it doesn't.

"Frank, it's okay. They're only my family. They won't bite." Gerard soothingly rubbed Frank's thigh.

"But if they don't like me, we're done, aren't we? This is a big deal, Gee. I want them to like me so bad that they'll probably see how hard I'm trying and think that I'm, I don't know, not genuine," Frank stressed, eyes darting from Gerard to the house behind him. Originally, a surprise party had been planned for Gerard's birthday, but _someone_ (hint: his name starts with 'P' and ends in 'ete') accidentally mentioned it to him. It ended up a lot easier to just go through with holding the party at Ray's than cancel the whole thing. It was a nice house, though, in a nice neighbourhood, and Gerard envied Ray for it. It was much nicer than his apartment, but that was what Ray got for having a good job at a record company. Gerard could imagine settling down here, a few kids, a dog or two, Frank with a silver ring around his finger. But he was getting ahead of himself; it hadn't even been four months yet.

"Trust me, they'll probably like you better than me. You're funny, you're smart and you're cute - what's not to, uh... Love?" Gerard found himself stumbling over the L-word a lot recently. He knew he loved Frank, and had for a long time now, but he could bring himself to tell him. He couldn't be the first one. The fear of rejection was too strong, and he wasn't ready to lose Frank. Now or ever. "You already know Mikey, and Pete, and Ray - it's going to be okay."

"I've met all of your friends, but not your family! What if your parents hate me? What if I ruin your birthday party? I should just go home."

"You can't go home! I need you here, by my side," Gerard said. Frank still looked hesitant, so he resorted to pleading, pouting at his boyfriend. "Please, Frankie? For me?"

"Stop being so fucking irresistible!" Frank unclipped his seatbelt and climbed out of the car, slamming the door behind them. Gerard smiled and followed him up the paved pathway to Ray's front door.

"Hey, if they don't like you, we can run away together. Move to Canada. Start a maple syrup company. Farm meese."

"The plural of moose is _moose_ , you idiot," Frank grinned. Gerard smiled back, because even if it was only momentarily, he'd made Frank forget about his nerves. But then he knocked on the door, and Frank panicked. "Gerard, wait, I'm not ready, they're gonna hate me. I don't want this to be over, I haven't even told you that I love you yet-"

Ray opened the door, a welcoming smile on his face. "Happy birthday, Gerard! Hi, Frank. Come in, everyone's already inside. Probably because you're late, but whatever."

And on that note, they were whisked inside into a crowd of people wishing Gerard a happy birthday, Frank practically shaking and Gerard looking like he just saw a ghost.

"Hi, honey!" Gerard's mom wrapped him in a brief hug before studying his boyfriend. Frank squeezed Gerard's hand tight enough for fractured knuckles to be a possibility. "You must be Frank. I've heard enough about you to write a novel."

"Mom..." Gerard groaned, flushing. He felt Frank relax slightly beside him, though, which in turn relieved some of the pressure on his chest. A majority of the crushing weight, however, was from Frank's statement a few minutes earlier. _I haven't even told you I love you yet_. Gerard tried not to get his hopes up, because it could have just been a slip up, or a hypothetical statement, but he couldn't help but dream of the relief he would feel if he could finally tell Frank he loved him. Unfortunately, Gerard's mom wasn't letting them get away anytime soon.

"Gerard, I must say, he's way out of your league," She said, winking at Frank. Frank grinned.

Gerard gave his mother a glare. "I know. Don't go giving him any ideas that he could do better, I need him to stay."

"I wouldn't leave you, even for Ryan Reynolds." Frank leaned on him with a smile.

"Really?"

"Nah, Ryan Reynolds is fucking hot. I wouldn't leave you for Matt Damon though."

"That's so sweet," Gerard grinned.

"Aw, you guys make me sick," Brendon cooed from an armchair across the room. Ryan, who was perched on the arm of the seat, slapped him on the shoulder. No one really knew where quiet little Ryan found loud egotistical Brendon, and they had a very strange relationship, but it just kind of made sense. They never actually told anyone that they were a couple, but Brendon just started showing up to their game nights and always left with Ryan, so everyone just kind of accepted it. It did cause Ray to have a minor crisis, though ("am I the only straight guy here? Is this a sign that my sexual orientation is much more colourful than I anticipated?").

"So, Frank, I hope my son isn't treating you too badly. Most of the time he forgets to take care of himself, so how on earth he could add another person into the equation is beyond me." Gerard's mom smiled. Gerard loved his mother, he really did, but she tended to speak her mind, and there were some things Gerard wanted her to keep to herself. Frank had been worried before about making a bad impression on Gerard's family, but now Gerard was worried that his parents would say something that would scare Frank off.

"He still forgets to take care of himself, but so do I, so we take care of each other," Frank said. Gerard's heart ached a little, and he needed to tell him.

"Mom, I just need to talk to Frank outside for a second-" Gerard started.

"Not yet, honey. I'm still talking to the boy," Gerard's mother scolded. "How do you feel about kids?"

"Mom!" Gerard gave Frank an apologetic look.

"I like kids. I think I'd like to have some, someday." Frank smiled at Gerard, who was lost for words. They'd never really discussed their futures and how permanent their relationship really was.

"Mom, I really need to talk to him."

"Later, Gerard. How many?"

"Enough to pull a two-man sled," Frank grinned. Gerard snorted but his mother just looked confused. Frank frowned. "Uh, I don't know. Two or three?"

Gerard scanned the room, sure someone was missing. Mikey was in the corner, smirking as he said something to Ray, Ryan was looking at Brendon in disgust as he told some sort of horrifying story, and Frank was talking to his mom. Gerard was pretty sure he'd even seen Ray's parents in the kitchen, which was cool with him, since they were practically his second family. "Hey, where's Pete? And Dad?"

"Your brother... He put something in Pete's hair conditioner this morning because he said that bagels were superior to donuts. Your father is upstairs with him trying to get the colour out. It took the poor boy all day to notice. Ignorant little thing." Gerard's mother shook her head.

"What colour is it?" Gerard grinned. "Green? Purple? Please tell me it's yellow."

"Even better," Mikey spoke up, obviously proud of his work. "Pink."

"If you ever do that to me," Frank whispered, standing up on his toes so he could reach Gerard's ear. "I'll cut off your balls and wear them as a tribal necklace."

Gerard winced. 

"You must be Frank, I've heard enough about you to be able to write your biography!" Gerard's dad said, walking into the room. Gerard peered around him, but Pete wasn't there.

"I already used that one," Gerard's mom smirked.

"Damn it, Donna," he cursed. "Well, Frank, do you want a drink?"

"No, thank you. I don't drink," Frank said politely. Ever since Gerard had told him about his past with alcoholism, Frank had stopped drinking too. He said that Gerard was 'the only drug he'd ever need.' Gerard was still in shock as to how this man even existed. _Surely_ someone this perfect had to be a figment of his imagination? But if the bruises on his hips and and scratches on his chest proved anything, it was that Frank was _very_ real, and could be very rough when he wanted to be.

"He's already a winner in my books." Gerard's dad shrugged and headed to the kitchen. Just as his mom opened her mouth to speak again, Pete walked in. The look of complete shame on his face was so upsetting, it almost removed the humour from the situation. But not _quite_. His hair was a flaming hot pink that drew the attention of every pair of eyes in the room. Everyone started to laugh simultaneously, some harder than others. Mikey was absolutely losing it in the corner, while Frank just mostly looked sorry for him. Gerard found it hilarious, but still felt a little bit bad for him, so walked over.

"Hey, I've got two solutions for you. There's some spare black hair dye at my place that you could just put over the top. Or," Gerard grinned devilishly. "You could keep it, and embarrass the shit out of Mikey everywhere you go. Do you think he really wants to be the guy with the candy floss boyfriend?"

"You really think he'd be embarrassed?"

"Yep. If you just own that hair Mikey's plan will backfire. I reckon you could make it work."

"I'll show him," Pete smiled widely. "But that hair dye's still up for grabs if I need it, right?"

Gerard nodded and watched him strut across the room to Mikey, looking like an absolute idiot. When he approach his mother and boyfriend again, Frank was telling the story of their 'fairytale first kiss,' which he liked to tell practically everyone he knew. Frank liked to make people jealous of what he and Gerard had, and Gerard found it pretty funny, the lengths he would go to.

"Frankie, I really need to talk to you," Gerard muttered.

"One sec, baby." Frank jumped back into the story he'd been telling. "So anyway, we were standing under this old-school street lamp, perfect little snowflakes falling around us. There were so many stars in the sky that each bit of snow looked like one had fallen. It was the most gorgeous night. But then I looked up at Gerard and told him that the only thing more beautiful than the scene around us was him. And he kissed me," Frank gushed. Gerard's mom started to 'aw' and Gerard rolled his eyes, already starting to pull Frank away.

"Great story, I need to steal him away now." Gerard dragged him down the hall to the back door. "Frank, it was a broken street lamp, the stars were invisible because of light pollution, a snowball fell on my head and you were accusing me of polygamy."

"Poetic license," Frank huffed. Gerard just chuckled and opened the door for Frank. "I think they like me, Gee. You were right, there was no reason to be so nervous. What did you want to talk to me about?"

Gerard didn't know. He didn't know what to ask. He couldn't exactly straight out question if Frank loved him, but what else could he do? He stared blankly at Frank instead of speaking.

"Is it about what I said before, when we were outside?"

Gerard nodded. Frank stopped smiling.

"I'm sorry for just throwing that at you. But honestly, I thought you already knew."

"How would I know? You've never said it before."

"I don't know. I'm not exactly subtle about my feelings. The amount of times I've been approached and asked shit like 'you really love him, don't you?' is ridiculous. Even Mikey once told me to, and I quote, 'stop looking at my brother like you want to crawl under his skin, it's making me uncomfortable.' Literally everyone sees it," Frank rolled his eyes. Gerard was reminded of the girl at the concert two months ago. Had Frank loved him ever since then?

"So why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to be the first one." Frank said quietly. Gerard laughed. It seemed so ridiculous that they were both trapped in a state of fear, not wanting to verbally express their affections for wariness of rejection. They could have been stuck in limbo eternally, forever fearing the reaction of the other. "I know it sounds stupid, but it was for exactly this reason. Now you know that I love you and I'd do absolutely anything for you, but you don't love me back." Frank crossed his arms and looked at the ground dejectedly. "I've known that I love you for a long time, but I just didn't want to take the risk. If I told you, I might scare you off, y'know? Too late now, I guess... I just really didn't want to ruin this. Better to wait until you say it first. But then again, what if you never fall in love with me? Like maybe it's impossible for you to love me, but even in that case, if I didn't say it then it wouldn't be a problem, because loving you is enough to keep me around forever. Loving you is the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"No, Frankie, that's not why I was laughing. Did you ever think that maybe I was feeling the same way? What makes you think I don't love you back?" Gerard smiled at his feet and scuffed his shoe on the wooden deck. Frank's head snapped up. "It's impossible for me to _not_ fall in love with you. Frankie, I love you."

Frank stared at him blankly, and suddenly, Gerard was nervous again. Frank wasn't saying anything, just blinking at him stupidly, and Gerard wanted to sink into the ground and never be seen again. Was Frank joking before? Surely he wasn't soulless enough to lead Gerard on this long. "Are you serious?" Frank said with an unreadable expression.

Gerard frowned. "Of course I'm fucking serious. Why would I be anything else? I'm... I fucking... _I love you_ , Frank, I-"

"I love you too." Frank beamed, holding Gerard's hands.

Gerard smiled so wide it hurt. Relief flooded his senses and he was sure he'd never been happier. Frank, perfect, dorky, adorable, gorgeous, tiny _Frank_ just said he loved him. Gerard was in love and Frank loved him back. "Say it again."

"I love you," Frank said happily, and yep, Gerard hadn't misheard him. Gerard kissed Frank, deep and passionate, and Frank got just a little bit too into it. He backed up against the wall of the house and yanked Gerard against him, tongue running over Gerard's tiny teeth. Gerard laughed, which only encouraged Frank to probe further. He even squeezed Gerard's ass, and Gerard was about to remind him that they had a party to get back to when he felt something poking into his leg and looked down.

"Seriously, Frank? Already?" He grinned.

"Hey, you're fully aware of the effect you have on me." Frank scowled. Gerard shook his head with a giggle and dropped to his knees, undoing Frank's belt. Frank's eyes widened. "Hey, wait, your family and friends are right inside."

"Give me five minutes, Frankie, then we'll go back," Gerard said, pawing at the fabric of Frank's pants until his dick was exposed. "I love you, and they can wait."

"Fucking hell, Gerard," Frank gasped as Gerard took him in his mouth. Frank buried his hand in Gerard's hair, covering his mouth with the other, head leaning back against the wall. Gerard sucked on the head and licked up the side before forcing as much as he physically could down his throat like a professional. He had to admit: he loved sucking dick. Probably a little bit _too_ much. He was good at it, too, which was most likely due to the many practice opportunities that had arisen of late. He felt his throat flutter at the foreign protrusion, and gripped Frank's hips to give himself more stability as he slid his lips back and forth. Frank bit down on his fist and gripped Gerard's hair tighter. Gerard tongued and sucked and he could tell Frank was loving it even more than he was. And _god_ , was Gerard loving it. The taste of Frank in his mouth was almost enough for him to come undone himself.

Gerard had guessed right when he said it would only take five minutes. Soon Frank was practically shaking as he came into Gerard's mouth, and Gerard swallowed as much as he could, spitting the rest in the garden. Gerard was just leaning in to lick the remains off of Frank so he wouldn't be sticky later, when a gasp sounded next to them. They both looked over to see Gerard's mother, looking horrified. Gerard hurriedly jumped to his feet and stood in front of Frank as he did up his jeans. Frank was having a hard time, shaking from the exceptional blowjob and blushing bright red from embarrassment. "Mom, I was just-"

"I am fully aware of what you were doing, Gerard." She looked out into the garden, almost as red as Frank.

"Mrs Way, I-" Frank peered around Gerard.

"I'm going to go inside now."

Gerard's mom turned on her heel and entered the house.

Frank started to pace up and down the back porch, flailing his hands about like a fish out of water. Gerard would have laughed if Frank didn't look like he was about to bolt and never look back. "Oh my god, I've fucked it up. My boyfriend's mom just saw her son sucking my dick. She's gonna forbid you from seeing me anymore, I would too if I was her, because she's _seen my fucking dick_. How am I gonna face her? Should I just go now? Damn it, fuck, _shit, shit, shit_. Is Canada still an option?"

"Come on, we can do this. She's just a little shocked. She'll get over it. And she can forbid me. Nothing will stop me from seeing you. We're in love, remember? Love can conquer everything, right?" Gerard said, more to himself than Frank. "Why don't you go talk to Ray, he's wise and nonjudgmental, and I'll find my mom. We'll get past this, it was my fault, I'll fix it."

Gerard pulled Frank, who looked absolutely petrified, inside, and they crashed right into his brother. Mikey looked them up and down, surveying the scene, before a smirk crossed his face. "Messy hair, bite marks on your knuckles, not-so conspicuous white substance on your face - my brother just gave his boyfriend a blowjob. And judging by the looks on your faces, you got caught."

Gerard wiped his face with the back of his hand.

"Who was it? Pete? Ryan? Dad?" Mikey's smile grew, obviously enjoying himself. Frank buried his face in Gerard's back, and Gerard decided that they were going to have to change their names and move to Russia. "Oh my god, it was Mom!"

"Where did she go?" Gerard asked.

Mikey shrugged. "You guys are so screwed."

"Shut the fuck up, you're scaring Frank," Gerard snapped. He kissed the top of Frank's head and whispered in his ear. "I love you, okay? This is just a small bump in the road." Frank nodded. "Mikey, go get Ray."

"He's arguing with Brendon about the philosophy of cyclopses. Y'know, whether it's a wink or a blink when they close their eye. It's getting pretty heated."

"Then get Ryan. And hurry up."

"Ryan!" Mikey shouted. When nothing happened, he shrugged and walked away. Gerard rolled his eyes. Of course Mikey was that fucking lazy.

Ryan eventually did show up though, looking confused. Gerard handed Frank over to him like a game of pass the parcel. "Take care of him. I'll be back."

Ryan looked ready to ask a question, but Gerard had already darted away. He raced into the living room, then to the bathroom, and finally into the kitchen. He found his mom taking a deep sip from a glass almost overflowing with red wine. She nearly choked when she saw him.

"Mom-"

"It's okay, Gerard, I get it. These things happen. I just need a little while to forget about seeing his... _Private area_."

Gerard cringed.

"Maybe you could take him home? I'm sure he's as embarrassed as I am."

"No, Mom! He's freaking out. I need you to suck it up and act like nothing happened."

"Gerard-"

"I love him," Gerard blurted.

"I _know_." She rolled her eyes. Maybe it was a lot more obvious than Gerard realized.

"But like, do you know how in love with him I am? I'm... I'm like really, actually, legitimately, so fu-" Gerard coughed. His mother hated it when he swore. "Frickin' in love with him. He's the best person I've ever met, and I love him. God, it feels so good to finally say it out loud. I love him, I love him, I love him, and I just want him to feel comfortable here. If you could just pretend that you didn't see his... It would mean the world, to me if you could just say something to ease his mind. After tonight you can go as long as you want without seeing him, just, he was so nervous about meeting you and I want him to know he didn't mess it up. Frank, he... He's my favourite thing in the world and I love him so much and I want him to know that he's welcome in the family and that it's my fault and he hasn't done anything wrong. He deserves better than this and I just... He needs to know he's safe here. I love him too much for something as stupid as you walking in on us to ruin what we have."

"Okay."

"And I know it's hard to believe I can fall this hard for someone in just under four months, but he-" Gerard stopped, looking at his mother quizzically. He was used to her stubborn yet logical arguements. Giving up was unheard of. He couldn't help but be a little bit disappointed; he was all fired up now, and could probably rant about his undying love in the continuously cheesy fashion he was forever. "Wait, what?"

"I said okay. I'll try to reassure him."

"Really?"

"Yes, Gerard. Stop being such an idiot. You'd obviously fall to pieces if anything happened to him, and I need you to keep Mikey from living at home," she took another sip with a grin. "Although I must say, I never thought I'd see the day when you would fall in love."

"Rude," Gerard said, a smile on his lips. His mother shrugged. Gerard opened his mouth to speak but his mom rolled her eyes and gestured to the door. Gerard hugged her quickly and raced off to find Frank. "Thanks Mom."

When he entered the living room, a worried looking Brendon grabbed his arm and dragged him to the bathroom. Gerard was confused but just went along with it. Ryan was standing outside the door, eyes wide with concern. "He's - I think he's having a panic attack." Gerard reached for the door handle, shoving past the other two men. "Wait, Gerard," Ryan said, grabbing his arm. Gerard gave him a look so harsh and fiery that Ryan flinched. "It's just, he said he needed to be alone."

Gerard narrowed his eyes. Right now, he didn't care how rude he was coming off to his friends. All that mattered was Frank's wellbeing. When Gerard was younger, Mikey had had frequent anxiety attacks, and he had helped his little brother through each and every one of them. Gerard knew he could be there for Frank too. "Alone with me."

Ryan and Brendon backed away and allowed Gerard to slip into the room.

Gerard found Frank curled up in the bathtub, shaking uncontrollably. His arms were wrapped around his legs, face stuffed between his knees, as if he was protecting himself from the outside world. He was sobbing quietly, irregular breathing timing the gentle _thump thump thump_ of his body against the tiled wall. Gerard climbed into the bath, next him. The tap dug painfully into his back but he couldn't have cared less. "It's okay, Frankie, I'm here," Gerard soothed, holding out his arms. Frank accepted the gesture, crawling onto Gerard's lap. He was trembling, grasping at Gerard's shirt, tears soaking the fabric. Gerard held him tight. "Just breathe." He smoothed Frank's hair back, whispering encouragements and trying to keep him grounded. Frank was hyperventilating, and Gerard tapped out a slow, simple beat on his arm, just like he used to do with Mikey. It seemed to work; Frank's breathing slowed slightly, became less frantic and desperate.

Frank was calming down, Gerard could feel it, but he stayed where he was, clinging on. Gerard kissed the top of his head, wiping away the tears with his thumb. He knew that Frank had had problems with anxiety and panic attacks in the past, but he had never witnessed it firsthand. He wished with all of his being that it had been him in the place of Frank. He hated seeing him like this. Seeing him as anything less than happy. In Gerard's eyes, Frank deserved the world, and when something brought him down it was just unfair. How could the universe let this happen to such a kind, loving man? Why was such a good person being put through the trauma of anxiety? It simply made no sense to Gerard.

"I'm so s-sorry Gee, you were n-never meant to see me like this," Frank cried into Gerard's shirt.

"Don't apologize. I'll always be here for you. No matter what state you're in." Gerard pulled him in tighter. He thought about how strange it must have looked, two grown men crammed into a bathtub, fully clothed.

"I love you s-so fucking much," Frank sobbed.

"I love you too." Gerard wriggled slightly, banging his elbow on the ceramic tub and letting out a sharp screech of pain. Frank giggled, then hiccuped, then sighed. He wiped his eyes on Gerard's shoulder, relaxing slightly into his arms. "Y'know, everyone else probably thinks we're having wild sex in here."

"You're probably right," Frank laughed lightly. "Gerard, I don't want to sound like a sappy little bitch, but it's times like this that I know that we are meant to be together. Like, I truly believe that you and I were made for each other."

"Like soulmates?"

"Something like that." Frank traced circles onto Gerard's chest. His breathing was almost completely normal again, but he was visibly shaken up by the incident. "I just can't imagine someone more perfect for me than you. You make me laugh, you're supportive, you like the same music as me, your presence alone calms me down, you can always make me feel better, you're artistic, you're gorgeous, and you give one hell of a blowjob."

Gerard flushed. "Frankie, I-"

"No, Gerard, it's true. You're amazing. And I won't ever let you forget it." Frank took Gerard's hand, slowly weaving their fingers together. He looked at their joined hands thoughtfully. Gerard kissed Frank's knuckles.

"Are you okay now?" Gerard asked hesitantly. Frank nodded, his face pressed to Gerard's chest. "I'm sorry about, y'know, sucking you off before. This could have been avoided-"

"Don't apologise for that. You know you give mind-blowing head."

Gerard blushed at how nonchalant the comment was. "I talked to my mum. It's all fine now, I think. I ranted about how much I love you and she just rolled her eyes and said she'd try to reassure you. Apparently I'm hopelessly sappy."

"How much _do_ you love me? Because I think I love you more."

"Ew. Let's not be _that_ couple."

Frank grinned. "I love you more than I love Black Flag."

Gerard rolled his eyes. "Fine. I love you more than I love Batman."

"I love you more than I love pizza."

"I love you more than I love Bowie."

"Woah, let's not get crazy," Frank laughed. Gerard flicked him on the nose and he giggled. "Okay, okay. Yeah, I love you more than Bowie too."

"You ready to go back out there, sugar?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," Frank said with a sigh. He scrambled out of the bath and laughed when he saw how ridiculous Gerard looked, sprawled out uncomfortably and looking up at him with big, innocent eyes. "You're adorable."

Gerard smiled at him and Frank smiled back.  _This is pure happiness_ , Gerard thought. And yeah, Gerard could get used to that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH I'm sorry this is so late, back to school and shit. It's not my best work, but the next chapter is better, I promise.  
> Thanks for reading!!!!!


	6. Domestical Weapons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank and Gerard's fights always end up better than they started.

Gerard played with Frank's hair as the other man talked on the phone. His head was on Frank's lap and his shirt was on the floor, and Frank kept getting distracted from his phone call. Gerard's legs were hanging off the arm of the couch and he kicked them impatiently. He began to push Frank's shirt up slightly, and grinned at the startled look on Frank's face when he started kissing the pale skin of his hip.

"Okay. I gotta go now, we'll see you then. Can't wait. Bye," Frank strained, throwing his phone onto the other couch. He looked down at Gerard with an adorable frown on his face. "Gee, you can't keep doing that when I'm on the phone. That was my parents, what if I fucking moaned?"

"Then they'd know I was good," Gerard said.

Frank shook his head, smiling, and traced patterns onto Gerard's bare chest. "You're hopeless."

"Hopelessly in love with you."

Frank laughed, pushing Gerard off his lap so he could sit up. Gerard whined but rose from his previous position anyway. "Speaking of my parents... They really want to meet the guy who's stolen my heart. They invited us to dinner tomorrow night."

Gerard froze.

"It's okay, I know you're nervous, but there's nothing to worry about," Frank soothed, noticing Gerard's tense state. "You're the first guy I've taken home, so you've got no one to compete with. It'll be fine."

Gerard didn't believe that. If he was the first boyfriend to meet Frank's parents, that would mean that all of Frank's previous boyfriends were not good enough to introduce. Meaning that Frank's parents probably had very high expectations. Meaning that Gerard was _freaking out_. "I can't do it, Frankie."

Frank furrowed his brow. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I'll be a nervous wreck. They'll hate me for sure. I'll say all the wrong things and then they'll talk you out of seeing me anymore and I'll die of a broken heart," Gerard ran his hands through his hair stressfully. "I'm gonna be the literal embodiment of anxiety. I can't do it, Frankie, I need more time to prepare."

"I know you're nervous, but you need to come. I promise you, it'll be fine. It's just one dinner."

"But, Frank, you don't understand, I-I can't, I just... Fuck, does it have to be tomorrow?"

"Actually, I do understand," Frank said. Gerard could tell his temper was rising. Not that Gerard blamed him: he was acting childish and idiotic, but panic did that to people. He couldn't help but tear himself apart on the inside, thinking about all his flaws and every thing there was to hate. He was never too good at first impressions, and if there was anyone in the world who Gerard wanted to impress it was Frank's parents. "Do you not remember when I met your parents? I was hyperventilating in the car. I was ready to fucking drive away and never come back, but I didn't. I grew a pair and faced my fears, and you need to do the same thing."

Gerard groaned, annoyance increasing. Why couldn't Frank understand? This was different to when Frank met Gerard's parents, because... Because it just _was_. While Gerard was fully aware his case wasn't the most convincing, he thought Frank should at least be able to sympathize his situation. "But you're so much stronger than me, Frank, I can't-"

"Stop making yourself out to be some kind of weak inferior being! If you wanted this bad enough, you'd just do it." Frank scowled, crossing his arms in frustration. "Makes me think you're not as invested as I am."

"What, so I'm scared to meet your parents and all of a sudden you think I don't love you anymore?"

"Well what the hell am I supposed to think?" Frank snapped.

"You're supposed to think that your boyfriend cares enough about you to be tirelessly anxious about meeting your family. You're supposed to understand my situation."

"Really? Because what I think is that you are being completely selfish. I think you can't be bothered to meet my parents. Remember when _your mother_ saw her son sucking my dick? How could it possibly get worst than that? I had a fucking panic attack."

"Can't be bothered?" Gerard glared at Frank. It was strange how he was mentally sending so much venom into the man he loved more than anything. "I can't be bothered to wash my hair, or clean the dishes, or go to work. What I can be bothered to do is anything to make the love of my life happy. You know how much I love you, Frank. Do you really think that this reaction is anything other than pure terror because I don't want anything to jeopardize our relationship?"

"What's jeopardizing our relationship is you refusing to have dinner with my family."

"I'm not refusing, I-"

"Then what are you doing, Gerard?" Frank challenged, eyes practically flaming. Gerard stood up. He couldn't deal with this, Frank yelling at him. He needed to get out before it got really bad and he said something he'd regret.

"I'm asking you to understand that I need more time to mentally prepare myself so I don't look like an idiot in front of your parents." Gerard walked around Frank's couch and over to the door. Frank's eyes widened as he moved. "And if you can't see that I'm just incredibly nervous and not doubting our relationship, then what's the fucking point?"

"Don't you dare walk out on me, Gerard Way," Frank ordered when Gerard's hand reached the doorknob. Gerard stopped moving, dropping his hand, almost against his own will. "Remember when I promised you that I wouldn't leave? Well the door swings both ways, asshole. And you're not even wearing a shirt."

When Gerard turned around, Frank was right there. He had his hands on his hips and held a furious expression, and Gerard couldn't help but snicker. Frank was just so small, and when he was angry he looked ridiculous. 

"What are you laughing about?" Frank asked, bitter stare softening slightly as Gerard continued to giggle uncontrollably. "Hey!"

"You're a little ball of rage. Emphasis on _little._ "

"I fuckin' hate you right now."

"I fuckin' hate you too."

It wasn't clear who leaned in first, perhaps it was both of them at the same time, but the heated argument quickly turned into passionate making out. Frank ran his hands desperately all over Gerard's chest, tongue fighting against Gerard's as they both strained to lick into the other's mouth. Gerard was starving in a way that only Frank could satisfy, and Frank was equally eager, so their kisses were messy, rough and careless. He thought he heard a few stitches tear when he ripped off Frank's shirt, but Frank was too busy with a mouthful of Gerard's neck to care. Gerard thought he looked better shirtless anyway.

Gerard pulled Frank on top of him on the couch, grabbing two fistfuls of Frank's hair and forcing their mouths to meet again. Frank moaned into his mouth. Gerard wrote himself a mental note; _Frank likes it rough_. He watched Frank's eyes glaze over and flutter in his skull as Gerard kissed him impatiently, hips grinding together hard enough for the friction to be almost painful. "You like that, huh, Frankie?" Gerard whispered sultrily into Frank's ear, biting the lobe for good measure. Frank nodded enthusiastically, and Gerard decided to test how far he could push this. He flipped them over so that he was holding himself above Frank and held Frank's hands in his own. Frank let out a noise that was a mixture of a moan and a whimper, so Gerard took that as a sign to continue. He ran his teeth down Frank's chest, biting hard enough to leave marks but not so hard that it was unpleasant on Frank's end. Frank squirmed underneath him, loud and sweaty, letting out sounds heavy enough that Gerard was sure Frank's neighbours could hear. Sounds that were so pornographic and sexy and lewd, so full of lust, that Gerard couldn't help but wish the walls were thicker, so that he could be the only one who got to hear Frank when he was so raw and beautiful.

"Oh my _god_ , Gerard, you're... fuck, I - _Jesus_ ," Frank cursed. Gerard lowered his body slightly and let Frank rut helplessly against him. "Gerard, _fuck_ , you're so good, so fucking good-" 

Gerard loved seeing Frank like this. His hair was sweat-slick and clinging to his forehead, his eyes were scrunched shut, his mouth hung open. Gerard kissed him, couldn't help it, and the vibrations of Frank's moans into his mouth were unreal. He rocked his hips into Frank's, and Frank responded by gripping his ass and pulling him down harder. Gerard felt dirty, grinding against Frank on his couch, both still in their skinny jeans, indulging in the sound of Frank calling out his name like it was the only thing keeping him on the earth, and he loved it. Frank's legs wrapped around Gerard's to keep him close, not that Gerard would have been going anywhere anyway. Gerard squeezed his eyes shut; his vision was blurring and making him dizzy. He smoothed back Frank's hair with one hand, using the other to balance. Frank slipped his hands down the back of Gerard's pants, grasping at the bare skin, digging in his nails.

"I'm gonna-" Frank gasped. Gerard nodded; he was almost there too. It was surprising that the sex they had ever lasted more than fifteen minutes, because honestly, Gerard could get off the the thought of Frank's face alone, and the feeling of him touching him was euphoric. He pressed his body against Frank's, and the other man clamped his teeth onto Gerard's neck as his hips began to stutter. Gerard moaned, loud and deep and long, feeling his body convulse as he came. He didn't think about how gross he would feel afterwards, because that didn't matter right now. All that mattered was that Frank and Gerard were both blinded by the feeling of pure, unadulterated pleasure, from rutting together filthily on a couch that belonged to Frank's roommate, and fuck did it feel good. He knew he'd have to shower afterwards - maybe Frank could join him - and borrow a clean pair of underwear, but Gerard put off that thought for the time being. He collapsed beside Frank, listening to the ragged breathing of the other man. It seemed eerily quiet to only hear panting after how loud it had been in the apartment seconds ago.

It took a while for both of them to come down from that high. They lay on their sides so they could both fit on the couch, and their legs remained tangled together. Gerard toyed with Frank's hair, now more sweaty than soft, a small subconscious smile on his lips.

"Angry sex is fucking awesome," Gerard said, pulse still racing and breathing still irregular. Frank nodded, watching him sincerely. His face held a strange expression that looked like adoration mixed with nerves. "What?"

Frank opened his mouth, then closed it again. Gerard gave him a quizzical look and recoiled his hand from where it had been curled in Frank's brown locks.

"What is it, Frank?" Gerard traced his jawline affectionately. Frank's eyes slid shut and he sighed.

"Fuck it." Frank captured Gerard's hand with his own and laced their fingers together. "Move in with me."

Gerard's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to reply, ready to say 'fuck yeah, I'll go pick up my stuff,' but Frank silenced him. 

"Just hear me out. We're always staying over at each other's apartments, right? I don't think I've slept alone for a month, probably longer. And I don't want to sleep alone ever again. I want to wake up next to you every day. I want to come home and find you asleep on the couch with a comic book stuck to your forehead. I want to have your art on the walls and photos of you and me on the mantelpiece. I just want to live with you, make a home with you," Frank said. Gerard was barely able to comprehend the words coming from Frank's mouth, his heartbeat was too loud. Frank talked as if he had been thinking about this for a long time, and Gerard felt an aching longing inside of him. "It doesn't even have to be my apartment, I could move in with you, or we could find a new place altogether. I just, I love you so much, and want to spend as much time as I can with you. We can be all domestic and shit. I-"

"Shut the fuck up, Frank," Gerard grinned. Frank looked at him, panic clear in his eyes. "You don't have to plead your case to me. I don't need to be convinced. _Of course_ I want to live with you, you fucking idiot."

"Really?"

"Let's be all domestic and shit." Gerard smiled. "How am I gonna tell Mikey?" 

"Mikey is the last thing on my mind right now," Frank giggled.

Gerard kissed Frank on the lips. "I'm sorry about being an inconsiderate asshole and freaking out before. If your parents are anything like you, it'll be fine."

Frank beamed. "Let's never fight again."

"Agreed."

The promise only lasted a few months. 

***

"Frank?" Gerard called out feebly. He didn't tear his eyes away from the piece of paper that he held in his hands, and wished with all of his being that what he was reading wasn't true.

"What is it, baby?" Frank said from the other room. He was in the kitchen, cooking some sort of experimental vegetarian chicken parmigiana, which Gerard was very skeptical of.

"Can you come here?" Gerard felt his hands start to shake as Frank made his way to the studio. This was the only room in their apartment that was total chaos. All of the other rooms were kept neat and tidy, thanks to Frank's obsessively clean tendencies, but the makeshift studio was the one place Frank didn't even try to tame. Gerard worked better in a carefree environment with no restrictions anyway, so the room was littered with paints, half-finished canvases and even the odd guitar. Frank used the space for songwriting sometimes; he'd sit and watch Gerard in his element and write songs that most of the time never even made it to his band because they were too sappy. He'd still play them for Gerard, though, and in some ways that made it more special.

"What's up?" Frank skipped into the room, only to stop dead in his tracks when he saw the heartbreak in Gerard's eyes. His face fell, cheeriness gone. "Gee?"

"Is it true?" Gerard asked. His hands were shaking bad enough now that he had to lean back on the table behind him.

"Is what true?" Frank questioned, concern growing when he saw Gerard's hands. He stepped closer, only to have Gerard flinch away. Frank's mouth dropped open. "Gerard? What's going on?"

Gerard felt his eyes sting and his throat close up so he simply held up the piece of paper for Frank to see, and the quiet 'oh' that his boyfriend emitted was confirmation enough. Gerard felt tears run hotly down his cheeks. He didn't bother to wipe them away. "When were you going to tell me?"

"I - soon. I was going to tell you soon." Frank looked like he was on the verge of tears too.

"You're going on tour in a week and you were going to tell me _soon_?" Gerard snapped. 

Frank wrapped his arms around himself protectively. "I was scared to tell you, okay? I'm going to be away from you for a month. A _whole fucking month_ without my boyfriend who I love more than anything. If I didn't say it aloud it didn't seem real."

"But it is real," Gerard choked. He couldn't decide if he was angry or sad - probably both. "I'm... I'm your boyfriend. We fucking live together. And you weren't going to tell me about touring because you were scared? You're supposed to talk to me the second the opportunity arises, before you respond, to see if you can even go. That's what boyfriends do."

"I don't need your _permission_ to go. This has been my lifelong dream. I'm not going to abandon that just because I'm in a relationship. I love you, but you don't own me," Frank said angrily. "And I thought you'd be able to make it through one month."

"I'm not trying to stop you, I was talking about if it was financially wise. And I'm just... A month is a long time, Frank. You're going to be surrounded by people who love your music and would do anything to get in your pants, and-"

"Are you implying that I won't be faithful?" Frank narrowed his eyes.

Gerard let out a sob. "No, I j-just... I worry. You're this hot rock star and I'm _me_."

"I'd never cheat on you. How many times do I have to tell you I love you before you understand that _I fucking love you_ and there's no one else for me? Do you not believe me when I say that?" Frank took and angry step forward.

"It's not that I don't believe you, I'm just insecure," Gerard pawed at his face, desperately trying to wipe away the tears. Frank was taking a dig at his deepest anxieties, and it hurt.

"If you don't trust me to not cheat, then why are we even together?" Frank challenged.

"If I can't trust you to tell me that you're leaving, then why are we even together?" Gerard returned. "It's like you don't even care. You're just trying to change the topic when you're the one in the wrong. What did you expect me to say when you told me?"

"I expected you to be happy for me. That I get follow my childhood dream. That's what someone who loves me would do. I expected you to congratulate me on being good at what I do."

"Of course I'm fucking proud of you! You're amazing and I tell you that all the time. But didn't you think that deciding to not tell me until the last minute would have some repercussions? If you'd told me earlier I could have asked for time off work and come with you!" Gerard flinched, a dark idea creeping up on him. "Unless that's why you didn't tell me. You don't want me to go."

"Don't say that, Gerard. Of course I want you to come too. Why do you always doubt me? I've always been completely honest with you." Frank ran his hands through his hair, glaring daggers at Gerard. "Maybe you just want to come so you can supervise me. Because apparently I can't be trusted alone."

"I do trust you, Frank-"

"Then why do you think I'm gonna cheat on you?"

"I don't, I just... I don't know..."

"Then get your story straight, Gerard."

"It's just how I am, Frank, I worry about everything. And if you can't understand that then this isn't going to work," Gerard said, quietly, defeated.

"If I wasn't prepared to deal with you, we wouldn't be living together."

"Is that all this is now? You _dealing_ with me?"

"I didn't mean it like that." Frank rolled his eyes. The action hit Gerard hard, like a knife to the chest. "I know how you are. I know you inside and out. Which is why I thought that you would be able to understand why I didn't tell you."

"To me it just feels like you want me off your back for a while. If I'm getting too clingy, you can just say it to my face," Gerard spat bitterly.

"If I thought you were too clingy, I would have left a long time ago," Frank hissed, with so much malice that Gerard felt his eyes sting. He bit his lip and tapped his foot rapidly against the floorboards, blinking quickly to subdue the tears. After a deafeningly silent few seconds - that, to Gerard, felt like several lifetimes - it became too much.

"I'm going to Mikey's." Gerard rushed out of the room in a whirlwind of tears and a slam of the door. He darted down the stairs to the apartment below theirs. When Gerard moved into the new apartment with Frank, Mikey and Pete decided to live together too, because Mikey couldn't afford to live alone, and were 'lucky' enough to snag the apartment directly below. Mikey often complained about the noise.

Gerard knocked on the door impatiently, pushing past Pete and collapsing on the couch when he let him in. Pete gave him a confused look. His hair was still stupidly pink, and Gerard would have laughed if he wasn't absolutely miserable. "Gerard? What's wrong?" 

"I think Frank and I just b-broke up," Gerard said, stuffing his face into a pillow and bawling harder.

"What?" Mikey entered the room. He crouched down next to his brother and placed a comforting hand on his back. Pete stood beside Mikey, a hand on his shoulder. "Gerard, what happened?"

"H-he's going on tour n-next week and he, he didn't even tell m-me," Gerard cried, words muffled by the pillow. "I yelled at him a-and he yelled at me and I left-" Gerard curled up, wanting nothing more than for Frank to hold him. "He probably h-hates me now, and I love him, I love him and I don't want him to go."

"Did you actually say anything about breaking up?" Pete asked. Gerard shook his head. "Then it's going to be fine. You can work this out."

"What do I do?"

"You tell that son of a bitch that you love him and that if he doesn't apologise he'll have to pay for the years of physiotherapy he'll need once I'm done with him," Mikey said. Gerard looked up at his little brother, heart swelling slightly. Mikey was always so emotionless and indifferent, but when it came to his big brother, nothing was good enough. He'd do anything for Gerard, and vice versa. The brothers were so close that Mikey knew what was best for Gerard and exactly how to deal with him when he was feeling any kind of extreme emotion.

"What if he's already g-gone?" Gerard gasped. Everything hurt, every inch of him was aching for Frank. When he thought back to the fight later, he would see that it could have been a lot worse, but right now he could not think of a less preferable scenario. The thought of not having Frank in his life was scarier than anything, so deeply tragic that he could barely fathom the idea, falling numb just imagining it. How could he _not_ have Frank by his side? It didn't make sense. Gerard felt like nothing without Frank. It was like a night sky without stars; just wrong, and dark, and not worth looking at. "I think I'm gonna be sick."

"He's probably waiting for you to come home, Gee, it's all going to be okay." Mikey tugged Gerard up so he was sitting straight. Gerard kept the cushion clutched to his chest. "He loves you. He loves you more than I thought was humanly possible. Why don't you go back upstairs and fix this before it gets worse?"

"Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'll do," Gerard said, more to himself than anyone else. He stood up, threw the pillow back onto the couch - only, he missed, and it hit Mikey in the face - and ran out the door faster than he ever had in gym class. He darted up the stairs so quickly he missed the elevator doors open and a solemn Frank walk out of the lift.

"Frank?" He yelled into the empty apartment. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left, we can sort this out - Frank?"

It took fifteen minutes for it to sink in that Frank was gone.

Gerard dropped to his knees. He knew he should have gone back to Mikey's, or just called Frank, but there was only one thing that he felt could temporarily take away the pain, and relief was what he needed right now.

***

Gerard looked down at the drink before him. To be honest, he had no idea what was in the small glass. He'd told the bartender that he wanted to forget, and the man had nodded in understanding. Gerard despised that. That man didn't understand. He'd never had someone like Frank, because there was _no one_  else like Frank. So there was no way he could begin to imagine how it felt to lose him. All he knew was that there was a dash of tequila, some conspicuous red liquid, and the rest was a mystery. Gerard's reflection was staring back at him on the glossy scarlet surface, looking like nothing less than the embodiment of failure.

He looked at the alcohol for a long time.

When he finally brought the glass to his lips, a thought came to mind that caused him to slam it back down. _Frank would be so disappointed in me_. Gerard watched as the spilled alcohol began to drip onto the floor. He didn't want to disappoint Frank. Pushing away the glass, Gerard realized that this poison wasn't worth it. He may receive slight ease from the ache in his heart, but the repercussions were severe, and Gerard only wanted to make Frank proud.

As if on queue, his phone buzzed with a message from Frank, simply stating that they needed to talk and to meet him at the park.

Gerard knew very well that ' _we need to talk_ ' was code for ' _I want to break up_ ,' and although he was still upset with Frank, he was mature enough to recognise the reasons behind the stupid decision, and realise that he needed Frank much more than he needed to maintain his petty attitude. He loved that man, more than anything in the world, even with his idiotic ideas. Gerard was beginning to realise that he wanted to be with Frank forever, and he was going to do just that or die trying. He raced out of the bar without paying for the drink (he didn't care that the bartender was yelling at him, because it wasn't like he was ever going back there) and down the street.

***

Frank was standing on the small bridge that stretched over the pond, hands stuffed in his jacket pockets. He looked vaguely godlike, hair blowing softly in the wind, a wistfulness in his eyes as he looked into the water below. Gerard took a deep breath before approaching him.

When Frank saw him, his eyes lit up, and he threw his arms around Gerard's neck. Gerard hugged him back, slightly confused. It was that suffocating kind of hug usually shared between two people who hadn't seen each other in a long time, the kind that almost completely cut off your air supply, but you couldn't find it in you to care. He felt something hot and wet on his neck, and it took him a second to realize that Frank was crying. "I'm so sorry, Gerard. I know I should have told you, and I know I shouldn't have gotten so defensive, I just, I mean, I love you, and I'm sorry, and-"

"Shh. I need to say something." Gerard took a small step away from Frank, shaking his hands and bouncing on his heels in an attempt to expel his nerves. Frank was staring, wide-eyed and worried. "Okay. So." Gerard closed his eyes and breathed in and out carefully. "Frank. I love you. I've said that a million times before, and I can't help but wish there was a stronger word for how I feel about you. Because, you're, I don't know, you're just worth more than an ' _I love you_.' And you mean so much to me-"

"Please don't break up with me," Frank blurted out. He pawed at his eyes desperately with his jacket sleeves, cheeks wet with the ghosts of tears. "I can tell the band that I can't go, I can stay here with you and sort this out.  _Nothing_ is more important to me than you, I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like anything less than my number one priority. I said that touring, being in a famous band, I said that was my dream, but I was wrong, Gee, it's _you_ , you're my fairytale. My happily ever after. You're always the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last when I fall asleep, and most thoughts in between too, and you _know_ I wouldn't be able to deal with getting out of bed ever again if you left me. Please, Gerard, I promise I'll make it up to you, I'll do anything. I love you. I-"

Gerard raised an eyebrow. "I'm not breaking up with you. Just listen."

Frank bit his lip and nodded.

"When I got back to our apartment, and you weren't there, I sunk into a dark place. Somewhere I've been before, somewhere I had no intentions of going back to. I left and went to that bar down the street," Gerard said. He couldn't bring himself to meet Frank's eyes, but he could feel the concern and pity burning into him. "I ordered a drink. Something strong. And then I looked at it, just before I took a sip, and do you know what I thought? I thought about how disappointed in me you'd be when you found out I'd been drinking again, and that was enough for me to drop the glass and leave that damned place." Gerard closed his eyes again, and curled his hands up into fists in his jacket pockets so Frank wouldn't notice they were trembling. "Do you know how long it took for me to sober up? _Four years_. And you did it in a second, without even being physically present. The point is, whether you realized it or not, you practically saved my life back there. I honestly don't think I could live without you. I used to be so lonely, Frank, and then I met you, and everything was perfect, and I don't ever want to lose that."

Frank opened his mouth to say something but Gerard just shook his head.

"You can talk in a second. I just need to get through this," Gerard said, his voice starting to shake. "You need to know that I want you in my life forever. I can't imagine a future without you in it. Because I feel like living without you wouldn't really be living, y'know? We're just so perfect for each other, and I'll stick by your side forever, if you'll let me. I'm gonna try and be better to you, more romantic, the guy you deserve. I may not be the best at showing how I feel, but I promise I'll always appreciate you and treat you well. S-so, I, uh, I'm not making much sense anymore, b-but, all I'm really trying to say i-is - Frank, I know it's been barely a year, but I love you, and-" Gerard fumbled in his pocket. Frank's eyes widened to the size of saucers. "-and I don't have a proper ring yet, b-but-" Gerard didn't care that the bridge was all dirty and would probably ruin his jeans; he dropped down onto one knee and held out the rock candy ring from his pocket. "Frankie, will you... Will you marry me?"

Frank stared at him, slack jawed, for a good few seconds.

"I, uh, I bought it from the arcade we went to before our first kiss. Didn't have time to choose a real one," Gerard gulped, anxiety intensifying.

"Oh my god," Frank said. "You _asshole_."

"What?" Gerard asked. He felt his eyes sting with the rejection and his body went entirely numb. He tried to stand up, but Frank put his hands on his shoulders.

"Wait, stay there," Frank said, and was he laughing? "Fuck, I can't believe I let this happen. Gerard you fucker-" Frank reached into his pocket and pulled out a small black box. "I've been carrying this around for _weeks_. Just waiting for the right moment. And I was gonna do it here, but you beat me to it."

Gerard looked at the box blankly.

"It's a ring, idiot. I was going to propose. With a _real_ ring, too," Frank giggled, placing a hand over his face. "Oh man, I even talked to your parents. Asked Mikey if he was cool with it. I had it all planned out, it was going to be romantic as fuck. And then you come in and get there first."

A grin started to creep across Gerard's face.

"The man that I'm going to marry proposed to me with fucking candy," Frank snorted. "Somehow, that is so much better than a candlelit dinner."

"So is that a yes?"

"Of course it's a fucking yes."

Gerard shot up from his kneeling position and embraced Frank tightly. He almost knocked the other man down, but neither of them cared.

"Put on the ring. The actual, expensive, thought-out ring," Frank joked, holding a smile so wide Gerard was afraid his face might split in two. He opened the black velvet box to reveal a simple silver band, with three small black diamonds set into it. Frank took Gerard's hand, slid the ring on and discarded the box so he could grab Gerard's face and pull him down for a kiss.

"Frank," Gerard mumbled against Frank's lips. "Frank, that's the wrong finger."

"I don't give a fuck," Frank grinned, holding Gerard's face, foreheads pressed together. "You're my fiancée. This is the best day of my life."

"Our wedding day will be even better," Gerard said. He was so ecstatic, he felt like he was going to scream, cry, laugh, explode, or maybe all at once.

"We're getting married," Frank said. He pushed Gerard away and threw his arms in the air, jumping up and down. "We're getting _married_!"

Gerard looked around and saw some passersby staring. A few people looked at the couple fondly, others looked slightly disgusted, others looked like they didn't care. None of it mattered to Gerard. Because Frank was standing in front of him, bursting with excitement, and he was going to be his husband.

"You're the fucking love of my life and I get to marry you. Like, there's gonna be a ceremony, and a reception, and fuck, we need to start planning," Frank ranted. "Your books, your comics, when they're published, they're gonna say 'by Gerard Iero-Way,' and everyone will know that you're my husband, and I just can't fucking wait, we'll pay taxes and shit together, when I'm filling out forms, I'll get to check the 'married' box, and it'll be official, we'll be officially together-"

"I understand what marriage entails, Frank," Gerard laughed. He chased down Frank's hands and held them tight.

"Yeah, but, like, it's you. You're literally the best thing that's ever happened to me and I don't know what the fuck I did to deserve you. And now you want to marry me? Fuck, if I don't keep hearing it out loud, in a few hours my skin will be purple from me pinching myself constantly." He rested his forehead on Gerard's shoulder. "I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Neither can I." Gerard felt Frank's breaths on his face, could see the happiness radiating off him. "Future husband," he added as an afterthought. And  _fuck,_ did it feel good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All Time Low's new song is just gAH I can't I love them so much heck.  
> Also I don't think domestical is a word but what the fUCK ever.
> 
> Thanks for reading!!


	7. Life On The Music Scene

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard surprises Frank and they don't fuck.

"I'm running a bit late. I'll probably get there halfway through the show," Gerard said. The taxi driver glared at him from the front seat, as if Gerard had been directly blaming him for his tardiness. In reality, the driver was only partially to blame: Gerard was slow at choosing an outfit and the driver had no fucking clue where he was going. Gerard frowned and turned so the taxi driver couldn't hear his conversation.

"That's fine, as long as you make it before the concert's over," Shaun said, voice crackling as the line broke temporarily. He and Gerard had become quite good friends recently, and when Shaun suggested that Gerard should come to the last show of their tour as a surprise, Gerard was ecstatic. "He's gonna be so happy."

"I hope so. I can't wait to see him," Gerard beamed.

"Yeah. He can't wait to come home either. To be honest, I can't wait for him to go. Heard him jacking off to you one too many times."

Gerard blushed. "Really?"

"Don't get all hot and bothered. The last thing I need is to overhear the actual sex."

Gerard rolled his eyes, even though Shaun couldn't see it. He heard a voice yell in the background, presumably asking who was on the phone, because Shaun said 'Ger - I mean, um,' and immediately after there was a crash. "Hi, baby!" Frank's voice cheered.

"Did you... Did you just tackle Shaun?"

"I have priority talking to you. You're mine," Frank said, and Gerard moaned at the possessive tone, earning a strange look from the taxi driver. "I can't wait to see you Sunday. The things I'm gonna do to you..."

"Fuck, Frankie, now's not the time for phone sex," Gerard groaned. He bit back a grin, knowing that whatever things Frank had planned could be done tonight. "Let's keep it PG for now."

"Yeah, right. What are you wearing?"

Gerard snorted. "Are you serious?"

"Deadly," Frank deadpanned. " _C'mon_. Leather jacket? That fuckin' sexy black tank top? Those skinny jeans with a hole near the crotch that make your ass look like a fuckin' _masterpiece_ carved by the gods?"

"Yes, yes and yes," Gerard said. He knew just how much Frank enjoyed those three particular items of clothing, and couldn't resist dressing up for him. Frank was going to lose his mind when he saw Gerard at the concert. "And how would you feel if I told you I was also wearing _your_ underwear?"

"Fuck," Frank growled. "Send me a photo." He let out a little whimper. "Fuck, fuck, _fuck_. Shaun, is there enough time for me to go beat one off in the bathroom?"

"Frank!" Gerard scolded, a blush creeping up his neck. He couldn't hear Shaun's exact response, but it included dry retching so Gerard could picture his disgust. He was about to tell Frank to keep their sex life private, when a thought sprung to mind. He lowered his voice to a gruff whisper. "Don't you _dare_ touch yourself. I'm gonna be the one to do it, not you. Understand?"

"Oh my fucking god, Gerard, _yes_ , fuck, I won't touch myself." Frank sounded taken aback and breathless. Shaun gagged again in the background.

"You gotta promise," Gerard purred.

"I promise," he whimpered. "I can't fucking wait until Sunday."

"Neither can I. Now quick, change the subject, I don't wanna get a boner right now," Gerard said, blushing slightly at the irritated grunt the taxi driver made.

Frank giggled. "What, is Mikey there?"

"Um, yeah, yep, I'm at Mikey's. He's very grossed out right now."

"My name isn't Mikey," the taxi driver said, genuinely confused, and Gerard wanted to slap him.

"Who was that?" Frank's frown was obvious in his voice.

"That was just Pete. He's an asshole when he wants to be," Gerard laughed awkwardly. His heart rate was going about a hundred miles a minute now.

"My name isn't Pete either." The driver looked at Gerard through the rear view mirror, brow furrowed.

Gerard covered the phone's speaker with his hand. "Can you shut up?" Gerard hissed. "My boyfriend's gonna think I'm cheating."

"Gerard? Gerard, who was that?" Frank said, slightly panicked, when Gerard put the phone to his ear again.

"Hey, Frankie, calm down, it was no one," Gerard soothed. He was glaring daggers at the stupid taxi driver. What kind of person eavesdrops, let alone _adds to_ an obviously private conversation? Gerard _knew_ he should have gotten an Uber.

"It didn't sound like no one," Frank grumbled.

"Seriously, Frank, it's nothing to worry about," Gerard said, in the most reassuring voice he could muster. He was torn between keeping tonight a surprise and telling Frank that nothing dodgy was going on. He bit his lip and decided he could explain later. "Shouldn't you be getting on stage soon?"

"Oh, fuck. Yeah. About five minutes ago. See you in a couple days, expect a call tonight after the show." Frank hung up.

"I love you," Gerard sighed to himself. "I'm not giving you a tip," he said to the driver, which was admittedly a dumb thing to say. He could feel the car slow down, and he sighed again dramatically.

From then on, the drive was agonizingly long: Gerard watched cars and trees and buildings fly by but still felt no closer to the venue. He was getting increasingly impatient, tapping his fingers rapidly against his leg, and was about to offer the driver a bribe to go faster, when the taxi stopped. Gerard threw the man the money - definitely more than he deserved after pulling that stunt on the phone - and raced inside the building. It was a reasonably sized venue - it wasn't small but not by any means large - and Gerard couldn't get in fast enough. His ticket was deemed invalid when the handed it to the unimpressed girl that was standing outside the closed doors of the auditorium. Booming music could be heard from behind the doors, and the ground was throbbing with the beat.

"The show's already started. You can't get in," the girl, who couldn't have been older than twenty, sighed, as if Gerard was the bane of her existence.

"I _really_ need to get in. I have a VIP pass, too, if that helps-" Gerard fumbled in his pockets for the little card that Shaun had mailed him. He felt a growing nervousness in his gut. What if he couldn't get in? What if Frank wasn't excited to see him? What if-

"Oh, shit, you're the guy?" Her eyes widened and she pulled out a little walkie talkie. "Hey. The guy's here. Yes, _the guy_."

"I'm what guy?" Gerard cocked his head in confusion.

" _The_ guy."

Gerard didn't know how to respond, so he stayed silent. The girl talked on the device for a few more minutes before a man in a painfully yellow shirt approached them. "Hey, Gerard, isn't it?"

"Yeah. What's going on?" Gerard asked. The man gestured for him to follow and they walked through a door and down a twist of hallway.

"We're going backstage," the man said, as if it was obvious. Which, admittedly, it was. "I bet he didn't even tell you. Shaun fucking sucks are organizing shit."

"Tell me what?"

The man shook his head and pushed Gerard through some doors, and suddenly, they were on the left wing of the stage. Gerard could see Frank thrashing around with his guitar, and felt a bubbling longing inside of him. Frank looked as gorgeous as ever, sweaty and hot and full of adrenaline. Gerard almost couldn't stop himself from running over, throwing his arms around Frank, and never letting go. He'd missed Frank so much it was ridiculous, and seeing him now brought tears to his eyes. Frank finished up the song, totally unaware of Gerard's presence, smiled at the crowd - who were in an absolute frenzy of cheering and yelling and dancing - and took the microphone off the stand. "This next song is about my fiancée," Frank said, laughing when a girl at the barrier yelled 'fuck!' "Sorry, honey, you never had a chance. He's very pretty. He's also a dude."

"Frank hasn't seen his boyfriend for a month, poor guy. But I have a feeling he'll be seeing him very soon." Shaun chimed in.

Frank looked at his bandmate quizzically. "Um, yeah, on Sunday."

Gerard grinned from the wing, bouncing up and down when Frank started to sing. His heart practically exploded when he saw the little 'G' drawn in a heart on his guitar strap. Yellow Shirt Guy nudged Gerard's arm. Gerard looked at him curiously. "Go," the man said, with a dramatic roll of his eyes.

"On stage?" Gerard gaped.

"No, outside," the man said, and Gerard thought there was enough sarcasm dripping from his voice to feed a small village for a month. "You're gonna walk onto that stage, the crowd will 'aw' at you and your boyfriend, and this show will be the best one yet."

"But..." Gerard trailed off, not sure where that sentence was going. He glanced over at Frank, thought about how good it would feel to hold him again. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves, bouncing on his heels, shaking slightly. He was sure that this could not possibly end well, but he closed his eyes and walked on stage anyway. John, the bassist, shot him a grin and kicked Frank's elbow. Frank looked at John, still singing, and Gerard could practically feel waves of cold radiating from the icy glare he was giving his bandmate. John pointed over Frank's shoulder, looking slightly afraid of the singer. Frank turned around.

" _Gerard_?" Frank dropped his microphone. It sent a loud crash through the speakers but everyone was too focused on the couple that were practically eye fucking onstage to care. Gerard nodded and walked over to him. Frank ripped off his guitar, threw it to the floor and raced to close the distance between them. He threw his arms around Gerard's neck. "Fuck, I've missed you so much, Gee."

"Missed you too," Gerard mumbled, stuffing his face into Frank's neck so he could inhale that intoxicating scent he'd missed so much. Sweaty and sweet and so very Frank. He held Frank vacuum tight, temporarily forgetting about the auditorium full of people.

"You dyed your hair." Frank tousled the fire engine red strands with his fingers, face wet with both perspiration and tears of joy.

"You like it?"

"I _love_ it."

Just as Frank leaned in for a kiss, Shaun piped up. "So, this is Gerard, and he's going to sing a song for us!"

"What?" Both Frank and Gerard said in unison.

"C'mon. Who here wants the hot redhead to sing a song?" Shaun yelled. The audience cheered loudly and Frank gave the pianist a testy look. "That sounded like a yes to me. Go on, Gerard."

Frank looked at Gerard, eyes clearly saying _you don't have to if you don't want to_. But Gerard felt a burst of confidence run through his veins, just from Frank's presence. If he refused, it would be embarrassing as fuck, and right now, he felt like he could do anything. Nothing was impossible with Frank by his side. So fuck it, Gerard was going to sing in front of these several hundred people. He wriggled out of Frank's grip, grabbed the microphone Frank had discarded, and gave his fiancée a smirk. Frank gaped at him and the crowd went wild. "M'kay, Shaun, which song?"

Shaun shrugged, so Gerard held out the microphone to the girl who had yelled before. Her eyes lit up like a lamp and Gerard could see her scrolling through song after song in her head. "Do you know Astro Zombies?" She finally asked.

"Fuck yeah, I do," Gerard grinned. He turned around and yep, Frank was still staring at him in awe. Gerard was a bit surprised himself, he'd always been pretty shy, but being onstage with Frank gave him a new persona. "Stop drooling, sweetheart, we can make out after the show."

"Stop stealing the stage, asshole, you're a guest here," Shaun joked. Gerard kicked him in the shin and told him to start playing already. A beat kicked in and sure enough the bass player started picking up the tune from Shaun, but Frank was just standing there, lust in his eyes. And when Gerard started singing, Frank lost it.

"And then your heart, heart pounds-" Gerard sang, and Frank pounced on him. Gerard humoured him by allowing their lips to meet for a few seconds before pushing him away and continuing to chant the Misfits lyrics like a professional. He strutted around the stage and when Frank finally joined in on his guitar, he kept following Gerard around like a lovesick puppy. Gerard loved seeing Frank like this, so passionate and desperate and hungry, and after not seeing him for a month, it was almost overwhelming. He got so into it that by the time the song was over he was sweat drenched and thirsty for more.

"Baby, you're owning the stage. Sing another one," Frank purred in his ear.

"Really?" Gerard asked, smiling widely.

"Who wants this motherfucker to sing another song?" Frank yelled. The crowd yelled and jumped and waved their arms and Gerard's smile grew. "My boyfriend's more popular than I am."

"Fiancée," Gerard corrected, holding up his left hand. Frank practically salivated. He picked a guy from the front row to choose a song and he suggested Wake Me Up When September Ends. "No fuckin' way. Too sad. I'll go for American Idiot though."

And so Gerard sang Green Day, the crowd loved it, Frank was rendered useless from lust and his band were considering recruiting Gerard as their new frontman.

"You're so fucking _hot_ ," Frank exasperated. "When we get home, I am so gonna-"

"Frank, we're kind of in the middle of a concert here," Neil said, looking uncomfortable.

"I haven't gotten laid in a month. Screw you," Frank said, parading over to where Gerard stood. He fisted his hands in Gerard's hair and yanked him down. Gerard couldn't resist, he kissed back, with tongue and all kinds of filthy. He grabbed a handful of Frank's ass with one hand, the other arm securing the shorter man's place, body pressed airtight against his own, guitar sticking out at an awkward angle that dug into Gerard's ribs but he didn't care. Frank arched his back and pulsed his hips against Gerard's. Gerard could vaguely make out the sound of the crowd cheering, but the feeling of Frank pressed up against him was way too dizzying for his senses to work properly. This was far too sexual for any public area, let alone on a stage, and Gerard would have been afraid of security throwing him out if he wasn't too high off Frank to be afraid of anything.

"Damn it, Shaun, this was your plan, wasn't it? What made you think this was a good idea? You know how horny Frank is. God only knows how horny his boyfriend must be to keep up." Neil shook his head at the two. Gerard backed away a little, embarrassed, but Frank remained clinging on like he was superglued to Gerard's chest. "And now we've only got time for one more song before the venue kicks us out."

"Let's sing together!" Frank suggested. The audience seemed to like this idea. Frank approached the microphone, and Gerard latched onto him from behind, arms snaking around his waist and head leaning over his fiancée's shoulder. "Goddamn it, I love you so much."

"Can we sing Hannah Montana?"

"I've changed my mind. You suck."

***

"Who was the guy?" Frank said, almost the second they arrived at the dirty pub next door to the venue. He had his arms crossed, opposite to Gerard in the booth, and looked absolutely adorable. Gerard couldn't help but stare.

"What guy?" The drummer, Tim, asked.

"When I was on the phone with Gerard, there was someone there with him. And he lied and said it was his brother."

"Damn," Tim looked at Gerard, shocked. "I wasn't expecting you to be a cheater."

Frank flinched. "It's not like that. I trust him. It's not like that, is it, Gerard?"

"The taxi driver, Frank," Gerard said. "It was the taxi driver and I didn't want to tell you because it would ruin the surprise. He was a real dick. Ain't got nothing on you."

"Thank _fuck_. I'm too exhausted to kick anyone's ass tonight," Frank smiled, before turning serious. "You gave me a heart attack, you know. I mean, I trust you, but the thought alone of you finding someone else was almost enough to stop me doing the show."

"Hopeless sap." Neil rolled his eyes. "Had to drag his ass on stage."

"I didn't mean to scare you," Gerard said quietly.

Frank reached out and held his hand over the table. "I know. I'm sorry."

"You guys are cute," John said with a smile. "How did you meet, again?"

"Here we go," Shaun sighed.

Frank grinned. "Gerard works in a comic book store. I was walking past - I think I was going to band practice, actually - and I glanced in the window and saw him. Stood and stared for a good few minutes before rushing off so Neil wouldn't hit me for being late. Took about two weeks for me to build up the courage to go inside. Spent a couple hours in the store before finally approaching him. Of course, my overwhelming charm won him over instantly."

"You never told me that," Gerard said shyly, biting his lip.

"Yeah, 'cause I didn't want to sound like a stalker." Frank rolled his eyes. "That's why I also never told you that by the second date I knew I was going to marry you someday. Well, hoped."

Gerard's jaw dropped open.

"Does that mean you also didn't tell him about how afterwards you ran all the way to Shaun's, accidentally broke down the door and started ranting about meeting 'the best dude to ever exist?' We all stared at you like you were crazy. Which you were. Still are." Neil shrugged.

"You still need to pay me back for that door," Shaun said.

"What about when Gerard was coming to the concert and Frank was telling us all to behave, because 'this is the man that I love and if you fuck this up I'll end your life.'"

"How about when he dragged me with him to pick out a ring and took five fucking hours to make a decision."

"Or the day that they met, and Frank panicked and borrowed Gerard's phone to call me. I could practically hear him shaking over the phone. He's lucky I gave him good advice, or we wouldn't be here."

"You're forgetting about that time he-"

"Could you shut up? I didn't tell him because I didn't want him to think I was an overly invested love-obsessed loser?" Frank stressed, eyes wide.

"He was bound to find out eventually," the drummer shrugged.

Gerard was smiling painfully hard. "I think it's adorable."

"Of course you do. Because you're equally hopeless." Shaun pointed at Gerard with his beer. Frank must have noticed him twitch because he squeezed Gerard's hand tightly in his own.

"We can go back to the hotel now, if you like." Frank glanced warily at the alcohol surrounding them and rose, making the decision for him. Gerard was grateful - it had been a long time since he had drunk, but it was still hard sometimes to resist the urge to just have one drink, or only a sip. "We'll see you guys tomorrow."

***

"Gerard, I honestly can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I'm too exhausted for sex."

Gerard faked a shocked gasp. "Who are you?"

"I know. But for the things I have planned for you... I gotta be at the top of my game." Frank collapsed onto the bed, and Gerard lay down next to him. He felt a blush creep up his neck and curled up at Frank's side, nuzzling his face into his damp shirt. He didn't even care that they were both sweaty and probably smelled like a dump. He finally had Frank back, and he didn't think he'd ever let go.

"How about we wait until we get home?"

"C'mon, Gee, we get enough noise complaints as it is," Frank laughed.

"Then stop blasting Black Flag at midnight!" Gerard smiled, slipping his hand up Frank's shirt so it rested comfortably on his chest. He'd missed this. All the subtle gestures, small touches, simple conversations. "I have a surprise for you tomorrow. I mean... Unless you just want to go straight back to Jersey. That's fine too. I know how much you miss home. I just-"

"How come you still get so nervous with me?" Frank laughed. "We're literally engaged. If you learned anything about me today, it's how absolutely obsessed with you I am."

"I don't know. I'm completely comfortable with you, but I still get butterflies when I see you, still feel my heart race when you're close, still get anxious when I ask you out." Gerard quietened, tucking himself tighter against his fiancée. Frank repeatedly splayed his fingers against Gerard's back, possibly in an attempt to keep Gerard grounded.

"You're just as cute as the day I met you," Frank said, kissing Gerard's forehead when the other man looked up at him. His mouth lingered close to Gerard's face. "I have a surprise for you too, so it would be kind of embarrassing for you if you didn't have one for me."

Gerard laughed.

"So what has my man been up to while I've been gone?" Frank asked, as if he hadn't been calling Gerard daily.

"I don't know, why don't you ask him?"

"Good idea. I'll go get him," Frank joked, pretending to get up. Gerard growled and reeled him back in, kissing his collarbone affectionately.

"I'm no mistress."

"Damn right." Frank groaned quietly as he watched Gerard's fingers drag up and down his chest. "Hey, you know that whole _don't touch yourself_ thing? Can we, like, do that? Not now, but, I don't know, when you get possessive, it's really hot."

"Whatever you want, sugar," Gerard snickered, biting his lip. He faked a cough and said _kinky_ , and Frank slapped his shoulder.

"At least I accept my kinks. No matter how much you deny it, I know you have a thing fo-"

Gerard pressed his palm over Frank's mouth. "Shut up, asshole."

Frank grinned at him when he took his hand away. "Y'know, I almost forgot how pretty you are. Memory does no justice for a face like yours."

Gerard sighed happily. "I painted you a picture."

"What's it of?"

"You and me."

"That's so fucking sweet."

"It's kind of gorey though. I'm a zombie. You're, like, a hunter person dude."

"Hunter person dude. That sounds awesome. Forbidden love. Where'd you hang it?"

"I didn't. What if you don't like it? I'd have stuck a nail in the wall for nothing."

"Of course I'll like it! You have more talent in your pinky toe than the entire population of Australia."

"That's not true, but I love you anyway," Gerard said. And he really meant it. Not that he hadn't meant it in the past, but right now, there was a certain emphasis. If their time apart had shown anything, it was how completely dedicated he was to Frank, and how useless he was without him. "I love you so fuckin' much."

"Y'know, if someone had told me two years ago that in only a couple of short years I would be engaged to the most gorgeous man to walk the earth, I'd have told them they were crazy. I was a fucking mess, afraid of commitment and maturity. Got so close to death it wasn't funny," Frank sighed. Gerard watched as he squeezed his eyes shut. "I'd never be that reckless again. You make me want to stick around for as long as possible so you'll never be alone. I know that we're both still young, but there is no doubt in my mind that I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He thumbed at the band around Gerard's ring finger lazily. "I never thought I deserved to fall in love before you. But now I've fallen so damn hard, and I think it's for the better. You make me a better person every single day, because every time I so much as look at you I feel like I need to do a good deed to earn that right. The fact that I get to call you mine is the best thing in the world. And now that there's a fucking ring on your finger that shows the world that we belong to each other, fuck, I can barely believe it."

"You're so sappy. I love it," Gerard giggled, and Frank shifted so they were facing each other. He just stared at Gerard, long and hard, and Gerard felt like he should be squirming under the strong gaze, but he wasn't. He was staring back, admiring the man that he loved so much, too much, and thinking that for the first time ever he might actually be on the road to liking himself a bit. Because obviously he must be doing something right, if someone like Frank was this gooey over him. "Where do you wanna get married?"

"I don't care. All that matters is that we'll be together," Frank grinned, and Gerard grinned back. Married. It was going to happen. He was going to _marry_ Frank. "Actually, scratch that, I want a Star Wars themed wedding. You can wear a gold bikini."

"I know that was meant to be a joke, but you of all people should know that I'm not exactly opposed to cross dressing," Gerard laughed.

Frank scratched behind Gerard's ear affectionately as he pushed back the stray hairs. "Let's go to Greece for our honeymoon. We can hitchhike our way around Europe until we get murdered and dumped in the Alps."

"How about we get married in Hawaii and sacrifice our guests into a volcano. Then we can honeymoon by the beach in peace and quiet."

"It would be rather nice to get away from Brendon's obnoxious drunk raves," Frank grinned. "Here's another thought: Wedding on Mars, honeymoon on the actual moon."

"That sounds out of this world."

"That was the worst thing you've ever said. Wedding's off."

"You can't resist me," Gerard said, crawling closer, arms and legs wrapping around Frank like an octopus. Frank giggled, peppering Gerard's face in kisses. They couldn't seem to get close enough to each other, as if they were constantly reassuring themselves that they had finally been reunited.

"You got me there," Frank said as he bit at Gerard's lip. "Fuckin' beautiful. Our kids are gonna be gorgeous."

Gerard's mouth turned down at the corners. He looked down at the rise and fall of Frank's chest. "We can't have kids like that, Frankie."

"I know," Frank sighed. It sucked that they couldn't reproduce, and there was nothing they could do about it. "I know. But we can adopt, right?"

"Of course." Gerard forced a smile. The mood felt dampened by the somber topic, and Gerard didn't want Frank to be sad on their first night back together. He gave his fiancée a spontaneous grin. "Dance with me, Frankie."

"What?"

"Dance," Gerard grinned wider, rolling off the bed and pulling Frank up with him. He gripped Frank's hand and held his waist and spun him around and watched him laugh as they imitated some sort of ridiculous dance.

Frank was beaming, cheeks rosy and body warm. "I love this. That we can dance around a hotel room together and not have it be a big deal. It doesn't sound like much, but I love it."

"You know what Frankie?" Gerard rocked Frank back so he was only held up by Gerard's arm around his waist. "I'm not scared anymore."

***

Apparently, Frank was not happy when he woke up to an empty bed. Gerard was outside the hotel room when Frank called, so he let the other man blow off steam over the phone. Something about waking up alone every day of the past month, needing to kiss him stupid, saying that coffee can wait, blah blah blah. Gerard wasn't really listening, his smile was too big. "Frank-"

" _Gee_ ," Frank whined. "It's still so early, too, what time did you leave? How far away are you? I just want to hold you-"

"Frank, why don't you shut the fuck up for one fucking second and open the door."

Frank huffed and hung up, but sure enough the door before Gerard swung open. Gerard watched with a grin as Frank's eyes widened and mouth dropped open and hands clutched absently at his heart. He was pretty sure the high pitched squeal that Frank emitted was a good thing.

"I got you a present," Gerard said.

"You got me a puppy?" Frank yelled. Gerard shushed him and shouldered his way past into the hotel room. There was a strict no animals policy, and Frank had probably woken the entire building. "A motherfucking _puppy_?"

"No, I got you a guitar pick. This dog just ate it." Gerard rolled his eyes. He waited for Frank to close the door before putting the squirming ball of fluff down on the floor. He raced around the room, full of energy, bounding onto the bed and through chair legs. _A hyperactive maniac, just like his dad_ , Gerard thought. "I'm mostly kidding. He did eat a guitar pick."

"What's his name?" Frank crouched down and let the little golden retriever jump up at him.

Gerard shrugged. "He's yours."

"Fuck. You're the best." Frank flung himself onto Gerard once the puppy had skittered away. "Y'know, he's the first member of our family."

"We're gonna have to lock him outside when we get home so he doesn't walk in on us," Gerard laughed.

"Honestly, if it wasn't for him, I'd jump you right now." Frank squeezed the back of Gerard's thigh, causing the other man to squeak in alarm. "Damn it, my surprise seems dumb compared to yours."

"Mine  _is_ pretty awesome," Gerard admitted with a smug smile. "What's yours?"

"I wrote you a song, but like, I always do that anyway, it's no fucking dog-"

"I don't need a fucking dog. I love hearing the stuff you write me. It never gets old, listening to how you feel about me expressed in the form you are most passionate about. It's fucking art and I love it."

"You're just too much for me sometimes. Fuck, I love you."

"I guess you're okay."

"Fuck off," Frank grinned, lips pressed to Gerard's. The dog yapped, but it didn't stop them.

"You better get used to this, dog," Gerard mumbled into Frank's mouth. "Or you're gonna have a hard time in the Iero-Way household."

"I fucking love it when you say that."

"Dog?" Gerard joked. "You kinky motherfucker."

"You're the worst."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How fucking rude would it be if I killed one of them off wow. Good thing I'm allergic to sadness.
> 
> Thanks for reading !!!


	8. The Single Life Is Dead!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wedding ceremony contains excessive use of the word 'fuck.'

"You nervous?" Mikey asked, squeezing Gerard's shoulders.

"Why would I be nervous?" Gerard looked in the mirror, straightening his tie obsessively. He brushed nonexistent dust off his suit jacket, fiddled with his cuffs, and twisted his heel on the hardwood floor. He caught himself stressing over his appearance and turned away from the mirror so he was facing Mikey.

"Liar. You're so fucking nervous. What are you worried about? That you'll forget your vows? Or that he'll leave you at the alter? Or that one of his ex's will object? Or that you'll get bored of each other? Or-"

"Mikey! Shut the fuck up! Oh my god." Gerard furrowed his brow, looking down at his Batman cuff links and the shine of his black boots. He knew his brother was joking, but now was _not_ the time for jokes. "You really think he'd leave me at the alter?"

"No way. He's more likely to get eaten by a dragon."

"Seriously, though, Mikes. 'Cause if you don't think he's gonna show, I'd rather not go out there at all." Gerard gave the window across the room a fleeting look. "If he left me, that'd be it, Mikey. I don't want a future if he's not in it."

"Don't be stupid, Gerard, he loves you more than Brendon loves himself," Mikey sighed. "You're so difficult."

"You're being significantly unhelpful. This is the most important day of my life and you're acting like an asshole."

"Fine. Gerard, you look simply dashing in that suit, the weather is sublime and your husband-to-be told me to give you this note." Mikey rolled his eyes, sarcasm thicker than the fabric of said suit, which was becoming more sweat-drenched with each passing second, despite the crippling cold. Mikey handed Gerard a folded piece of paper which was definitely ripped out of a comic book. One side depicted a scene from _Doom Patrol_ while the other was originally blank and splattered with tiny, messy handwriting.

_G_

_I'm very nervous right now. Not because I'm questioning our relationship in any way, or because I'm afraid of the commitment we're about to make, but because I don't know if I'll be able to say everything I want to say, do everything I want to do, or even just make it through the ceremony without bawling my f***ing eyes out._

_That's just what you do to me. It's so unpredictable. Every moment is an adventure, and that's what I want for the rest of my life._

_I thought it would be best if I wrote all of this down, because there's no f***ing way I'm going to be able to concentrate and deliver my vows properly when you're in front of me, all prettied up and holding my hands. I want to give you the best possible day to ever occur (because I'm sorry, sugar, but this is going to be your last wedding as a groom) but I know that I'm nothing if not a f***ing sap and, okay, let's be honest, there's a one hundred percent chance that I'm going to cry like a motherf***ing baby when we finally tie the knot. So, just a heads up, my vows will be terrible, and I'm sorry in advance._

_I've written another song for you, too, surprise surprise. Although I think this one's the best yet, if I do say so myself. I don't know if I'll be able to get through that either, but I promise that one day soon I'll play it for you._

_Yeah. I'm going to be a f***ing mess. But don't get the wrong idea, gorgeous - it's because your smile makes my heart splinter, your voice makes my head spin, and your words make my knees give out. In the very best kind of way. Ha. Way. That's going to be my surname soon._

_I don't want to get all philosophical right now, because how f***ing boring, but I cannot think of a single reason for my existence other than to love you. It's my purpose. And honestly, I think I'm pretty damn good at it. To be fair, it was never hard to fall in love with you, and even easier to keep it up. But getting you to love me back, that was the tricky part. Or so I thought. Because for some reason, despite the bad jokes and cynicism, the impulsive dates in the cold and the suggestive touches on your brother's couch, you stayed. You stayed and you loved me with the same passion and you still do. I'm still in awe, even after all this time, and every morning when I wake up and see you smiling back at me, my blood cells morph into butterflies and I feel so happy I could just explode. And to think that you feel the same? Goddamn it, I'm gonna cry._

_People won't like that we're in love. They'll say it's wrong that we were allowed to get married, wrong that we're together at all. There'll be homophobes, douchebags, people doubting us because we're young and haven't been together for decades, but honey, it's worth it. And I'll protect you from as much of it as I can. Because at the end of the day, our love is no one else's business, and f***ing hell, I love you so f***ing much. And I'll spend my entire life fighting off the rest of the world if it means that I can have a future with you._

_I remember the exact moment I fell in love with you. We were at an art gallery. Admittedly, I was admiring you more than the art. You were fascinated; talking about the artists and the different techniques and mediums they used, and every few minutes, you'd turn to me and say 'sorry, I hope I'm not boring you' and I'd just shake my head with a smile, because seeing you so passionate made my heart swell, and I could practically see the joy in your eyes as we wandered from painting to painting. Then we got to this big, showstopper sculpture, and I was about to say something (something stupid, probably) about how huge it was, when you just snickered with a sly grin and said 'it looks like a dick.' It's funny to think that a dick joke is what pushed me over the edge. But I just gaped at you, and tried my hardest not to say those three big words so soon. I thought, holy f***, this guy's the whole package. One minute he's an intellectual, a f***ing genius, rambling about brush strokes and composition, and the next he's giggling at phallic objects. And yeah, I could do with a lifetime of that. There's never a dull moment, and I'm never disappointed by your crazy ideas or your stupid jokes. I love you for every little piece of your personality that makes you who you are. You're the sweetest person on the planet, and have the biggest comic book collection I've ever seen; you're incredibly talented, and can recite the entire script of Star Wars backwards; you're a massive dork, and the sexiest guy I've ever laid eyes on (especially in that leather jacket... You know the one)._

_So yeah. I'm very nervous. Because goddamn, you have a way with words, and I just know your vows will be f***ing awesome, and you deserve better than a wet mess like me. But in the end, I know you love me despite my flaws, and expect nothing less than a soggy suit waiting for you down the aisle. So thank you for loving me. And I can't wait to love you for the rest of my life._

_frnk xoxo_

Gerard choked up about halfway through the letter, and the tears didn't stop when he'd finished reading. "Goddamn it, Frank, this is what you planned all along," he sobbed, giggling slightly. Mikey looked confused, but offered him a tissue. That letter was just so _Frank_ it was ridiculous. How it was written on a comic book, how he censored out each curse word. Gerard had to take a few moments to just cry, release his tears so he didn't do so on the alter. "He wants me to be cry so he feels better about how much he's gonna cry. Asshole."

"You still nervous?"

Gerard shook his head, face wet and a wide grin on his lips. He flipped over the page to read the comic, and found a few more scrawled sentences around the border. He smiled to himself.

_PS: why did you pack pyjamas for tonight? If you're under the impression that there is going to be any sleeping done at that hotel, I'm afraid you're wrong. And if you're wondering why I dug through your stuff, it's because I was checking that you brought lube. Which you didn't. You had one job. But don't worry, your selfless fiancée bought some. You're welcome._

Gerard laughed, wiped his eyes, and turned to his brother. "Thank you for delivering this, Mikes." He turned back to the mirror, flopping his hair from side to side and pawing at his eyes until they were no longer damp. He tucked the note into his dress shirt pocket, over his heart like the sentimental fucker he was, and tried not to think about it so he wouldn't burst into tears again. "How do I look?"

"You look great. Frank's gonna lose his shit."

"I'm gonna lose mine. When do we have to go?"

"Whenever you're ready."

Gerard nodded, closed his eyes, took a dozen deep breaths, grabbed the bouquet off the table, and gestured to the door.

It was cold outside, but the picturesque frosty landscape was worth it. Gerard smiled. It was just so perfect. The snow reminded him of their first kiss, and the reason for choosing the park was obvious. If Gerard looked ahead, he'd see Frank standing in front of the bridge he'd proposed on, a frozen lake behind him. He didn't look up from his shoes. He watched the white powdery ice coat his previously pristine boots repeatedly until Mikey flicked the back of his head. Gerard scowled at his brother but lifted his eyes from the ground. He was scared he was going to trip over and make a fool of himself when he looked up and was met with dozens of eyes watching his every move, until he saw Frank standing at the end of the aisle.

His shoulders were dusted with white, and his dark hair crowned with delicate snowflakes. The distinct black of his suit stood out against the pale background, and the white of his tie against his chest made him look like an old photograph. He looked stunning in that suit (although Gerard thought he'd look better without it) and Gerard made no secret of the fact that he liked what he saw. The vivid red of his shoes that matched Gerard's tie stood out with incredible contrast, and Gerard felt unbelievably proud of Frank for thinking of it. It looked like blood, he thought, and that was fucking awesome. Gerard's eyes scanned Frank from head to toe, watching as his fiancée nervously fiddled with his fingers, the 'hopeless romantic' tattoo making his heart swell. He followed the trail of ink across his knuckles, up his black-clad arm, and to his collar. He skidded his eyes across Frank's neck until he saw the purple bruise he'd left last night and grinned.

The pure happiness that shone in Frank's eyes almost knocked Gerard out when he finally met his gaze. Hazel and warm and so fucking happy. Gerard's mouth was tugged into a face-splitting smile almost involuntarily, and it was all he could do not to break into a run and kiss Frank till his lips bled. He kept his eyes on Frank and his big toothy grin and thought about how ridiculous he was to doubt this. Not once did he think about the cold, or the other people watching him. Frank was all that mattered.

The second he reached the end of the aisle he shoved the bouquet of scarlet roses into Mikey's chest and lunged to lace his icy fingers with Frank's. He looked down at their entwined hands, back up at Frank's face, and beamed brightly.

"Hi," Gerard whispered.

"You showed up," Frank said, beaming, sounding slightly disbelieving.

"Of course I did," Gerard giggled slightly. "You look really pretty. Like... Words can't describe how good. Really beautiful, like - fuck, I can't get my words out."

"You too." Frank pressed his lips to Gerard's knuckles, causing Gerard's cheeks to glow pink against his pale skin. Which admittedly, looked less pale in this environment. "Fuckin' gorgeous. I knew you'd look good in a suit, but _damn_. God, I'm so happy."

"You ready to do this?"

Frank nodded enthusiastically and squeezed Gerard's hands.

"Alright, before we begin, if anyone has any objections, speak now, or forever hold your peace," the celebrant said.

"I swear to fucking god, if anyone objects I will slit their fucking throat," Frank growled, and Gerard nodded in agreement.

A few seconds later the celebrant cleared his throat and began the whole 'we are gathered here today' spiel. Gerard didn't really hear anything the celebrant was saying; he was too focused on Frank and how good he looked and the twinkle in his eye and the ring on his finger and the smile on his lips and the warmth of his hands. He was sure the words were heartwarming, and very, very sarcastic, considering Mikey wrote the whole speech (originally, Mikey was going to be the celebrant, but when he found out how much effort he'd have to put in to do so, he demoted himself to speech writer), and there was something about love stories and fairy tales, but Gerard only tuned in when he saw that Frank was talking, and closed his eyes so he could concentrate.

"Gerard. You're just... I... Fuck." Frank rested his head on Gerard's shoulder. Gerard curled his fingers in the back of his hair comfortingly, massaging his tense muscles until he relaxed and lifted his face again. "Fuck. I didn't want to mess this up. Can I start again? I'm gonna start again. Right. So. When I first saw you, I knew I had to talk to you. Whether we turned out as best friends or lovers or whatever else didn't matter, there was just something there. Soulmates, you once called it. And, um... I don't know, I just think that's really beautiful. 'Cause now, I'm so damn in love, and I'm so grateful that out of all the seven billion other people in the world I got to meet you. Without you, I'd probably be cocaine-soaked and passed out in LA, thinking I'm bulletproof when I'm not. Completely lost. And I love you more than I knew to be possible. I just... I really really like you, Gerard, and I promise to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much. I'll fight for you through thick and thin, shield you from the bad shit, and just stick by you when you need me the most. Um... Yeah. I love you, Gee, and I always will."

Gerard bit his lip and fought the urge to kiss Frank as he shakily slid the ring onto his finger. "Oh, man. That's a tough act to follow."

He earned a laugh from the crowd and a relieved sigh from Frank, who fiddled with Gerard's wedding band for a few moments before smiling wider than Gerard had ever seen.

"Alright, um... So, uh, since you're like, gonna be my husband and all, I thought now would be a good time for me to share a collection of the things I never told you throughout our relationship. Just to check that you still wanna marry me afterwards." Gerard chewed on his lip absently, shutting his eyes briefly. He felt Frank lean in and give him a kiss on the tip of his nose, and when he opened his eyes he was met with a heart melting expression of pure adoration. He relaxed slightly, completely forgetting about the crowd of people gathered to watch the ceremony. "So, um... Here's the first one. I have sketchbooks completely filled with drawings of you. From the day we met until now, I've been drawing every fucking part of you that I remember. Although I can never seem to get any of them right, because you're just too perfect to accurately depict.

"Numero due: I, um, I nearly cried the day we met when I thought you hadn't given me your number. Like, I was about to listen to my 'fucking sad shit' playlist, and then I saw your name in my contacts with that dumb fuckin' photo that I still have and I still cried, but because I was happy. And like, who knew, that someone you've known for about an hour could affect you so much.

"Number three. Remember that time your favourite Ghostbusters shirt went missing for like a month? Yeah, well, I kinda took it. I thought it would be a cute boyfriendy thing, y'know? Me wearing your clothes. But then, fuckin' Mikey, he accidentally set it on fire, and I had to spend the next few weeks desperately trying to find another one.

"Four. I don't remember my own mother's birthday - sorry, Mom - or even what shifts I'm working next week, but I remember the date of every single milestone we've had. The day we met, our first date, first kiss, first... Y'know. The date we got each of our dogs. When we moved in together. When I proposed. You name it. I remember.

"Five. I take photos of you when you're not watching. If you're looking especially cute or stupid, I snap a picture when you're not paying attention. And I cycle through each photo as my lock screen daily.

"I'm sure there's many more, but, um, this is the last one for now. Six years ago, when my alcoholism dragged me to rock bottom, I promised my brother I'd go to a psych once a week, to keep me in check. And I stayed true to that promise for four years. But four months into seeing you, I stopped. Because at my first appointment since you told me you loved me, my psych took one look at me, then told me not to come next week. When I asked why not, she cocked her head to the side and said 'in the four years that I have known you, you have never once walked into this room smiling, until now. Why is that?' And I stood up, grinning, and told her that it was because I was happy. Because I finally found someone that made me want to get up in the morning, someone who I could talk to about anything, someone who I could see myself being with for the rest of my life. Someone who I love more than anything."

Gerard took a deep, ragged breath, and watched a tear run down Frank's cheek. It was almost luminous in the afternoon light, and Gerard brushed it off lightly with the back of his hand before continuing.

"And you know what? I still get so fuckin' happy every time something reminds me of you, every time someone mentions your name, every time I see _you_. And I promise to try and give you that same happiness every single day until I die. Actually, you know what, fuck that, fuck _till death do us part_ , because I want you in the afterlife as well. I don't care if it's only been two and a bit years, I am so in love with you it's crazy, and no amount of time can change that. So yeah, um, let's hope you still want to be my husband, otherwise that whole speech will be kinda embarrassing."

Frank was biting back a massive grin, and Gerard smiled.

"Well?"

Frank rolled his eyes. "Yes, I still want to be your husband, you fucking idiot."

Gerard snuck a quick kiss onto Frank's lips as he slid the ring on, wiping off more tears with his sleeve.

The celebrant cleared his throat. "Do you, Frank, take Gerard to be your lawfully wedded-"

"Yes. Yes, yes, yes, I do."

"Gerard-"

"I do."

 

"I now pronounce you-"

Gerard assumed that the celebrant must've pronounced them something, but he wasn't paying enough attention to hear what exactly, due to the familiar pressure of Frank's lips against his. He wrapped his arms around Frank's neck and parted his lips, not really caring if everyone saw Frank's tongue slip between them. Frank's arms were secured around his waist, tight enough to force their bodies to be pressed together and strong enough to hold Gerard up when he pushed forward. Gerard's back was arched against Frank, and he kicked one of his legs up for good measure.

This kiss felt both similar and different to the countless others they had shared. Maybe it was the excitement, or the fact that they were fucking married now, or maybe it was just too cold for their mouths to move properly, but Gerard savoured every moment and when Frank swung him back up and tried to pull away, Gerard didn't let him until he had no air left in his lungs. He looked at Frank, and yeah, that was his husband.

_His husband._

Gerard felt lightheaded with happiness and wrapped Frank in a constricting hug. "I love you, Frank Anthony Iero-Way. I love you and I'm never going to let you go."

"You better fucking not, otherwise I've wasted a fuckton of money on flowers," Frank said, and Gerard could feel the grin on Frank's face as he nuzzled into his neck. "I can barely believe that just happened. I'm fuckin' married now. To you. _You_. The most fucking beautiful, kind, talented, considerate, thoughtful - plus a million other positive adjectives - man ever to exist. Goddamn it, Gerard, I love you _too_ much."

***

"Do we have to?'

"It's traditional."

"Well we're not exactly the most traditional couple, are we?"

"No, but... You  _have_ to. First dance, Gee, it's compulsory."

"Fine. But only because you agreed to marry me. I owe you one." Gerard took Frank's hand with a grin and lead him to the dance floor. He had expected to feel majorly uncomfortable, with everyone watching him and Frank awkwardly waltz around with loved-up eyes and bright smiles, but he found that nothing could bring him down from this high. Gerard yanked Frank close and watched his eyes widen dramatically as Gerard almost literally danced circles around him. He ducked his head down to whisper in Frank's ear. "I've been taking dance lessons behind your back, motherfucker."

"You son of a bitch," Frank snorted, struggling to keep up. "And here I was thinking that you were picking up extra shifts to help pay off the wedding."

"You should have known better."

"Why wasn't this in your vows? You're a fucking liar," Frank giggled, purposely stepping on Gerard's toes.

"Because you wouldn't have agreed to marry me if you'd known I was going to make you look like a fool. Duh." Gerard rolled his eyes.

Frank shook his head. He grabbed at Gerard's waist, dragging him closer. Gerard took advantage of Frank's desperateness to touch his husband and spun him around, grinning at his flustered expression. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted their dogs, Butternut and Leela, dressed in a suit and white dress respectively, and threw his head back laughing. Of  _course_ Pete had done that. Frank saw too and snickered, before using Gerard's distraction against him and tugging his head down with a firm grip in his hair, kissing him hard and passionate. Gerard stopped trying to one-up him and cupped Frank's face with both hands to hide the excessive PDA from their guests. Then he dropped his arms, because fuck their guests, they were married now, and they could do whatever the fuck they wanted.

"Gee?" Frank whispered against Gerard's lips, and Gerard would have missed it if he wasn't so close.

"Yeah?"

"I already knew about the sketchbooks. I found them one under your sofa cushion like two weeks after we started dating. And it was so fucking cute that I went out and bought you two dozen roses."

"Two weeks? Damn it. I'm not as subtle as I thought."

"You're not subtle at all."

"Neither are you. I knew you were having daydreams about my ass two  _days_ into dating. Can't say I blame you."

"Y'know, you've come so far since the day we met. You were so shy, sweet, nervous, self-conscious. You're still sweet now, but much more comfortable in your own skin. If I didn't know any better, I'd think I was rubbing off on you."

"Figuratively or literally? Because you've done both."

Frank wrinkled up his nose. "Gross."

"That's not what you said when you were coming all over my thigh-"

"Shut up. I don't want a boner right now when we can't fuck for like five hours."

"You've changed a lot too. You're much calmer, more open. More down to earth." Gerard chewed on his lip. "I think we're exactly what the other needs. Your clinginess makes up for my insecurity in that area, and my grounded nature keeps you and your adventurous tendencies from getting too out of hand. We are similar in countless ways, and in all the areas in which we differ, we compliment each other. The fucking perfect match."

"I... Fucking hell. You're too much." Frank yanked him by the lapels over to the snack table. "C'mon, let's get some food."

Gerard gaped, surprised that he was still in awe of this tiny man, time after time. And maybe,  _maybe_ , he checked out Frank's ass a little bit when he turned. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably 2 or 3 chapters to go!! Exams are coming up though so there might be an even bigger gap between chapters than usual.
> 
> Thanks for reading!!


	9. Dreams Of Parenting And Being Parents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard and Frank just really want kids.

"Gerard!" Frank yelled. "Gerard, get your gorgeous ass in here right this instant!"

"What do you want?" Gerard groaned, dragging himself off the couch and into the office. He was just about to get into a Real Housewives marathon, damn it, so whatever Frank had to say better have been important. He tripped over a tennis ball on the way, and cursed Frank and their stupid ass dogs for leaving shit in the hallway. It wasn't like Gerard was going to clean up the mess, but he was still allowed to be annoyed by it.

"Gerard, they _replied_!" Frank shouted, despite Gerard being right at the doorway. He whipped around, and dashed over to Gerard so fast he didn't know what hit him. Frank held onto the collar of his shirt, eyes wide. "They fuckin' sent us a motherfuckin' email!"

Gerard glanced over at the computer screen, and a grin washed over his face. Four words caught his eye from their inbox: New Jersey Adoption Agency. He could feel the excitement bubble in his veins. "Holy fuck."

"We're gonna be parents. You and I. We're gonna be dads. We're gonna have kids. _Human_ kids." Frank wrapped his arms so tightly around Gerard's neck he could feel his face going blue, but Gerard just hugged back tighter. "We're gonna be great. I love you."

"Love you too," Gerard strained. "How soon? Have you even read the fucking email?"

"No! I was waiting for you, asshole," Frank said. "You're welcome."

Gerard laughed, kissed Frank's cheek, and shuffled them both over to the computer. "You wanna click it or do I have to?"

"It wouldn't kill you to move for once."

Gerard laughed again. He waited for Frank to detach himself from him, and gripped his hand tight when he did. Gerard kissed Frank quickly, then shuffled the mouse over the pad so the pointer hovered over the email in question. He took a short pause and a deep breath, and clicked.

Just like before, it was a few words that immediately caught his eye. _We regret to inform you that..._

His heart felt like it had been thrown out of a thirteenth storey window, run over by a truck, sliced into ribbons, and then some. He glanced down at Frank, whose eyes were growing wider with every second he examined the document. He was reading, rereading, rereading again. Gerard squeezed his hand. "Frank..."

"But... I don't understand. We..." Frank was staring blankly at the screen now, eyes glazed over and not in a good way. Gerard gently pulled him away, watching the white rectangular reflection on Frank's face shrink as they exited the room. Gerard didn't know what to do. He sat Frank down on the couch, and he looked empty like he had never seen. Gerard understood that. He was so deeply upset, but how could one be sad about losing something you never had to begin with?

"We can try again. Send applications to more places. This doesn't have to be the end of it."

"Why would they deny ours? We would be great parents. What did we do wrong?" Frank buried his face in Gerard's chest and let out a strangled sob. Gerard held him, blinking back tears, needing to stay strong so that they didn't both collapse into a hopeless, damp mess on the floor. "It's not fair, Gerard. It's not fair."

"It's not. Not at all. It fucking sucks. But you and I, we'll be fine. One day we'll be parents, but for now it's just you, me and the dogs. And that's okay," Gerard said, combing his fingers through Frank's hair. "Maybe it's a sign. That we're not ready for kids yet."

"But we are. You, you'd be the best dad. You would paint with them after school, dress them up as Yoda and Spock and Gandalf on Halloween, read your comic books with them. Actually, you'd never let them touch your comic books. Scratch that, you totally would. Because you'd do anything for them. Just like you'd do anything for me. Because you just have the biggest fucking heart I've ever seen and any kid would be blessed to have you in their life. I just want a family with you so fucking bad and it's all I've wanted for a long time and it just makes me so fucking upset that we can't do it like most couples can, and now this? Now there are people telling us that we're not good enough to have children? It's just too much sometimes that even the most basic of things we can't have because of homophobia and-"

"Hey, Frank, calm down, it's okay." Gerard firmly held Frank's face, forcing their eyes to meet. Frank was about to panic, Gerard could see that. "Just look at me. It's going to be fine. We _will_ have a family. I won't stop filling out those stupid fucking application forms until we do."

Frank said nothing, just rested his head on Gerard's shoulder and let the tears soak through his shirt. Gerard pressed his lips to the top of Frank's head and silently sobbed himself. He felt the wet tracks down his cheeks, and the growing despair in the bottom of his stomach, but the overwhelming urge to protect Frank and ensure his wellbeing overpowered his own feelings.

"It's okay to be upset. But we'll get over this. One day, when our children are all grown up and facing the world, we'll cry and fuss over them leaving the nest and not _once_ will we think about this. We'll have kids. We _will_ -" Gerard choked. He covered his hand with his mouth, a brokenness forming behind his eyes that Frank recognized immediately. He crawled onto Gerard's lap and held him. He was quivering, but he held him nonetheless. He wrapped his legs around Gerard and they both cried it out until they had nothing left. It was tears of misery, anger, and hopelessness; so completely draining they could hardly move once all the venom had been released. They were just shaking, holding each other up, and tangled together like headphones in a pocket. Gerard tucked Frank's curls behind his ear and kissed the tip of his nose. His voice was hoarse when he continued to attempt to comfort Frank. "We have each other. We'll always have each other. And you know what? That's all we need."

"You're like fucking therapist meets philosopher," Frank laughed shakily. He kissed Gerard just because he could. "There's no way I'd be able to make it through this without you."

"This wouldn't be happening without me."

"True. You're the only person on this planet who I would ever want to have kids with."

"Does that mean there is some alien dude out there threatening my marriage? Do I have to kick some extra terrestrial ass?"

"Maybe," Frank smiled. He still looked sad, Gerard felt it too, but it was all they could do to stay lighthearted and not burst into tears again. "I think I love you more than I did yesterday. I didn't think that was fuckin' possible."

"You want some ice cream? Ice cream fixes everything."

"Here I am proclaiming my undying love for you and you ask me for frozen dairy products. I'm beginning to feel a little neglected, to be honest."

"Don't act like you wouldn't trade me for a good bowl of ice cream."

"I would never!" Frank grinned. He teased the hem of Gerard's shirt with his fingers, a small glint returning to his eyes. That made Gerard happy. He just needed to keep distracting Frank, averting his attention from the situation at hand. If he focused on distracting Frank, not only would his husband be better off, but he would be distracting himself in the process. "A _really_ good ice cream, maybe."

"Yeah, yeah," Gerard giggled. He moved to get up, but Frank hung on. "Get off, fucker."

"No," Frank said, looking at Gerard with a smile on his lips and a desperateness in his eyes. Gerard stopped moving. "I don't want to let you go just yet. Ice cream's for breakups, anyway. And that's not happening anytime soon. Ever."

Gerard looked at him fondly. He decided against making a joke about them getting a divorce and hugged him instead. "We'll get approved eventually, Frankie. You just wait and see. I'll make it happen."

"I know," Frank sighed. Gerard frowned. Frank was getting worked up, and he hated it, couldn't stand to see him upset. Gerard just wanted to suck out all that pain and take it on himself. He knew the pattern to this, knew that soon he would break down and expose his insecurities, and he wanted to stop it before it lead to a panic attack. "I know, because even though you're terrified of talking on the phone, you'd call up the agency and rant to them for hours if it mean we were one step closer. Even if you didn't want children, you'd do it for me anyway. You treat me so fucking well and I don't appreciate you enough. I don't deserve you. I never have and I never will. I don't know why I even talked to you that day in the comic book store. Why I thought it would be okay to be so fucking selfish and drag you into my life. Why-"

"Stop," Gerard said with a stern look. "Just stop right there, Frank. If you hadn't spoken to me, I probably wouldn't be alive right now. You know how I was before we met. It was a ticking time bomb, and the breakdowns were worse every time. Mikey was pretty much the only reason I stuck around, and it was only a matter of time before I convinced myself that he didn't need me either. But now I have a reason to live, and it's you. To make you happy. I haven't had a single dark thought in months, and it's because you are the absolute light of my life. You've done more for me than I could ever do for you."

Frank shook his head.

"Neither of us think we're good enough for the other, and maybe that makes us perfect. Or maybe it makes us a fucking mess, I don't really know, but I don't really care either. All I know is that I'm in love with you and am under the impression that you are in love with me. And we're together and we're married and that's all we need."

"'Under the impression?'" Frank grinned weakly. "Sometimes I cry because I can't fully express how much you mean to me. Like, there are actual tears shed because 'I love you' is far too shallow. A mere scratch on the surface, tip of the iceberg of how I feel about you. I can't even fathom how much I love you, and it pains me that I can't let you know."

"I know, Frank. I know how much you love me. Fuck, that sounds cocky, but it's true. It doesn't have to be spoken for me to understand. You show me every fucking day when you buy me flowers, or when you cook me a romantic dinner, or when you never forget to kiss me goodbye in the morning. Even the way you look at me, like I hung the fucking moon. I know, Frank, and I hope you know how much I love you too."

Frank paused for a second before nodding slowly. "You're right. You're so fucking right." He smiled, combing his fingers through Gerard's hair. He traced Gerard's jaw, his cheekbones, down his nose, as if he was trying to memorize his face with his fingers. "I've hit the motherfucking jackpot here. You always know just what to say."

Gerard's mouth curved into a grin, and Frank tracked the motion with his finger, chipped black polish sleek on his nail. Gerard had bought him the nail polish when he read an article about ink poisoning from sharpies and got paranoid. Frank had laughed so hard he'd had a stitch. "Let's go to bed, yeah? It's been a rough night. I'll call in sick tomorrow. We can just stay in bed all day. How does that sound?"

"Like fucking heaven."

***

Mikey looked concerned. He was giving Gerard and Frank that big brother look (which was ironic), the one that said _I can see right through you_. "What happened?"

"Nothing," Gerard and Frank said in unison.

"Bull-fuckin-shit," Pete grinned. Mikey poked his boyfriend's arm, fixing him a glare. Pete's smile fell, and he looked confused at the worry and tension that filled the room. Mikey shook his head at how slow he was and Pete returned to gnawing on a lamb chop.

"Are you both okay? You're not breaking up or anything are you?"

"No way. It's just... It's nothing, really." Gerard shifted, adjusting his arm around Frank's shoulders and looking at Frank, asking for permission to tell Mikey what happened. Frank was looking down at his empty plate, but nodded discretely at Gerard. "We got denied."

"Denied?" Mikey's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Gerard thought he could almost see the cogs turning in his brothers brain before his eyes widened. Pity shone clear in his expression, and Gerard wanted to curl up and cry. "Oh."

"Yeah," Gerard said solemnly. "Yeah."

"That's awful. I'm sorry." Mikey pursed his lips, sincerity laced in his words. Pete cocked his head in confusion. Mikey whispered a few words in his ear and quickly his expression changed to that of sympathy.

"It's not your fault." Frank shrugged. He was blinking fast, fidgeting in his seat. Gerard was a moment away from comforting him when the landline phone rang.

"I'll be back in one second." Gerard excused himself, hoping Frank would be okay when he returned. He squeezed Frank's shoulder reassuringly, grabbed the phone and walked out of the room to stand in the hallway. "Hello?"

"Hello, is this Mr Iero-Way?" A warm, feminine voice said.

"Yeah. Who's this?"

"I'm Sarah from the New Jersey Adoption Agency. I'm afraid we made a mistake in our last email," she said. Gerard's heart stopped beating. "Long story short, we mixed up you and your husband with another applicant. A couple of incompetent teenagers nowhere near fit for adoption. You and Mr Iero-Way ticked all the boxes. We apologise for any inconveniences caused-"

"Are you saying our application was accepted?" Gerard gaped.

"Yes, we-"

"How soon? How soon can we adopt?"

"If you come down to the agency whenever possible, we have some paperwork and such for you and your husband to sign, and once all that is cleared, it could be as short a wait as a matter of weeks." Sarah sounded so nonchalant, Gerard was almost not taking in what she was saying. She made it sound like no big deal, but to Gerard and Frank, this was huge.

"Weeks! Oh my god," Gerard giggled almost hysterically. He was angry that the agency had messed up and caused so much unnecessary suffering, but his overwhelming happiness trumped that petty fire by an long shot. "Thank you. Thank you so much. I gotta go tell Frank."

"Yes, of course. We look forward to your visit."

Gerard threw the phone down - it was a practically indestructible landline handset, it'd live - and raced into the kitchen where everyone was silently picking at the remains of their lunch. "Frank, oh my god, the most un-fucking-believable thing-" He jumped on Frank almost the second he rose from his seat, tears already running hotly down his cheeks and into Frank's sweater. He disregarded the presence of their guests and held his husband close and tight and near enough to half whisper half sob into his ear. "We were fucking approved. We're going to be parents."

"Are you serious?" Frank asked in disbelief. Gerard didn't reply, but he didn't need to, the way he shook with tears and ridiculous laughter was an answer enough. "Oh my god."

"What day is it today?" Gerard asked no one in particular. Frank was sporting an insane grin by now, and Pete was completely lost.

"Wednesday. Why?" Mikey said, caught halfway between a smile and a frown.

"Frank. Frank, they're _open_ , we can go now. If we hurry, we can fill out all the paperwork today." He pressed his lips quickly against Frank's and Frank nodded. Gerard grabbed the car keys and Frank's hand and rushed out the door. "We'll talk to you later!"

The trip should have taken half an hour, but Gerard got them there in half that time.

***

"Twins?" Frank smiled. He squeezed Gerard's hand. After months of jumping through hoops and signing a thousand contracts and having people inspect their house and test their personalities, Frank and Gerard were more than ready to adopt. And finally, the agency were ready to comply.

The woman nodded. It wasn't the same lady they were usually referred to, Sarah, but she was just as temperamental and twice as efficient. She looked down at the file on the desk. "Two baby girls. Only a couple of weeks old. Orphaned only five days after being born. Tragic house fire. Very little family, no one was willing to take them in. We're trying to give them a home as soon as possible, or the lack of affection as a newborn could affect them for life." She looked at the couple with an encouraging smile. "You two would be the perfect parents for them."

"What are their names?" Frank asked. He was close to tears - happy tears.

The woman shook her head, lips pursed. "The parents hadn't decided yet. You'll have to sign their birth certificates."

"This is so fucking perfect," Gerard said, hugging Frank from the seat next to him. "I mean, it's sad that their parents died, but..."

"I understand," she nodded. "If you come back tomorrow, we can finish all of the legal stuff. After that, you're good to go."

"We can see them _tomorrow_?" Frank looked like a fish out of water.

She nodded. "Tuesday at the latest."

"Thank you. Thank you so much. You have no idea - this is like a fucking dream," Frank giggled, burying his face in Gerard's shoulder. "We gotta go home and brainstorm names."

"I'll tell you now: we're not naming our children after game show hosts," Gerard said. "That's practically child abuse."

"Damn it," Frank sighed. "Back to the drawing board."

Gerard kissed Frank's neck softly and bid the woman farewell. He let Frank guide him outside, briskly by the hand, and couldn't help but smile to himself. " _Tomorrow_. Holy fuck."

"I know! We gotta go shopping." Frank slid into the drivers seat of his car, looking ecstatic enough to burn through the car seat, and paused when Gerard sent him a confused look. Frank rolled his eyes. "Supplies, dumbass. They're newborns. We need diapers, baby wipes, cute little clothes, rockers, powder, gross puréed foods, toys-"

"Okay, okay. And don't call me dumbass, dumbass."

"You're the dumbass. Yesterday you burnt spaghetti. You cook that shit in _water._ How you managed to set it on fire, I'll never know."

"That's nothing compared to last week. You got your tongue stuck in the freezer."

"You thought that pineapples grew underwater!"

"You ran over my foot with the car!"

"You scorched our couch with a homemade deodorant flamethrower!"

"We are not fit to be parents."

"We are clumsy, stupid, and illogical, but we're also loving, caring, and fuckin' awesome."

Gerard leaned over and kissed Frank's jaw. "Can we name one of them after my grandma?" He asked quietly.

Frank gave him a brief but fond glance. "Of course, baby. Whatever you want."

"Elena seems a bit old fashioned, though," Gerard pondered. "Helena? Eleanor? Ellie?"

"Helena. I like that. I _love_ that."

Gerard smiled. "Me too."

"Twins, huh. Who would have thought that I, of all people, would end up with the most gorgeous husband in existence, let alone two kids with him. Not to mention the dogs. Oh, god, the _dogs_. Do you think they'll be good with kids? What if-"

"Frank, those three dogs are the most lazy, docile creatures I've ever met. Butternut barely ever moves, Dracula is a scaredy cat, and Leela is an angel. They'll be fine."

"You're right. Fuck you, always being right." Frank shook his head with a chuckle. "I've always liked the name Olivia."

Gerard didn't quite flinch, but he stayed silent nonetheless.

"Gerard?" Frank said, tensing up. He always noticed immediately when Gerard was uncomfortable, and Frank hated it when Gerard was anything less than happy. He rubbed Gerard's thigh encouragingly. "What is it, sweetheart?"

"It's just... In high school, when I came out, there was this girl, Olivia. She was, uh, not the nicest of people. Her and her friends were the preachy Sunday school type, y'know? They were basically the only ones who had a problem with it. With me. They'd mostly just make passing comments, standard stuff, about sinning and going to hell, the usual... But, um... Sometimes, Olivia, she would graffiti my locker. I'm sure you can guess which word she chose. Mikey always helped me clean it off, but, um... Yeah. Other times she'd get her boyfriend to... He was older, maybe around twenty, and... I never hit him back, because then I'd be just as bad, you know? I... It never got, like, _hospital_ bad, but I... I don't exactly associate Olivia with good memories."

"Oh my god, Gerard. That's awful. I'm so sorry. I knew some people didn't agree with it, but... That's not okay. You didn't deserve any of that." Frank gave his husband a fleeting glance, concern flooding his veins. Gerard could tell that Frank thought he was thinking something dark, and he hated the pity he was receiving.

"It's fine," Gerard shrugged. "It was a long time ago, and I bet that bitch doesn't have a husband half as pretty as mine."

Frank laughed, relieved. "I'm your trophy boy, huh?" He glanced at Gerard again to make sure he was okay. Gerard beamed at him. Yeah, it was a bitter memory, but it didn't matter anymore. He had Frank now. "How about Emma? Or, like, Emmeline, or Emily, or something?"

"Emily. Emily is perfect," Gerard smiled. "Helena and Emily."

"Five kids. We're gonna have _five_ kids, including our fur children," Frank said thoughtfully. "Man, am I a lucky guy."

"You feel like getting lucky? Because I'd rather celebrate than go shopping right now."

Frank swerved slightly, changing the course of the car. The roads were fairly empty, but that didn't stop Gerard from throwing out his arm to protect Frank from possible harm. "I can't turn that down."

"You gotta start being more careful, Frank. It's not just gonna be you and me anymore."

"You're right. I should be careful anyway, with you in the car. I'd never forgive myself if I hurt you."

"You should be careful with or without me. I'd never forgive you if you hurt yourself."

"Darling, I know you can't live without me."

"Ditto. So don't do anything dumb," Gerard sighed, looking out the window. "Sometimes I can't tell if we're the cutest couple or the cringiest."

"Doesn't matter. We're the best. And the sexiest."

"Of course," Gerard nodded with faux-seriousness. "There's nothing sexier than two fuckin' lovestruck dorks who have framed sci-fi posters and more band tees than Hot Topic."

"Well _I_ think it's sexy."

"You're ridiculous, you know that?"

"For thinking - nay, _knowing_ \- that my husband is the hottest piece of ass on the planet? No, Gerard, I'm not ridiculous; I'm a realist."

"You're awfully repetitive."

"If I didn't say it often, you'd think I'd forgotten."

Gerard had no response to that. He opened his mouth, closed it again, smiled, and looked out the window. He watched the landscape roll by, and thought about how content he was with his life. No, more than content. _Happy._ He was so fucking happy.

"Gee?"

"Frankie?" Gerard quirked a smile.

"Look at me," Frank said, an edge of desperation in his voice. Gerard turned his head towards Frank curiously, wondering what spurred the change in tone. Those honey-hazel eyes bore into him for a few seconds at a time, always returning to the road. "Gerard, promise me that you'll always let me know if something's wrong."

"What do you mean?"

"If I'm not giving you what you need, not paying enough attention to you, not showing you how I feel often enough. I want you to promise me you'll tell me so I can do all that I can to fix it."

"Frank, you don't... Why would you think that you're not enough for me?"

"I've just been thinking. I'm so fucking happy right now, and... You know how messy my parents' divorce was... I mean, they're friends now, but... I don't ever want that. I want to be married to you until the day I die. And I want you to _want_ to stay with me forever. I don't think I could handle ever letting you go. So please, if you need something more, just let me know. I'll do anything."

"Frank, that won't happen to us. We're different. You're the only one for me, and I'm never going to leave you," Gerard said firmly. "But you're right. We do need to communicate. That's what breaks down most relationships. And even though I know we're not in trouble or anything right now, we should just both tell each other everything, alright?"

"Yeah," Frank said, more to himself than to Gerard. "Yeah."

"Good. Here's everything that's on my mind right now: I'm excited to be a dad, I could really go for some pad thai noodles, Star Wars is superior to Star Trek, and I love you."

Frank smiled. "I'll never get tired of hearing that."

"I never get tired of saying it."

"Speaking of love... There is _one_ thing I've been keeping from you."

Gerard immediately panicked. He _knew_ it was illogical to assume that Frank was keeping some sort of secret relationship from him, because Frank wasn't a cheater - even if he was, surely he'd know better than to tell Gerard - but that didn't stop him from instantly preparing himself for the worst. One of these days he was going to worry himself to death, he thought.

"Why do you look so terrified?" Frank laughed. Then he seemed to sober up. "God, probably because Mikey's going to _kill_ me for telling you this."

"What? Mikey?" Gerard's anxiety increased exponentially. His brother and his husband? The two people he cared about most in the world, doing something behind his back? He was just about ready to jump out the fucking window when Frank spoke again.

"He's gonna propose to Pete."

"Oh," Gerard said quietly, all that nervous energy dissipating almost as fast as it appeared. It took a few seconds for what Frank said to hit him. "Oh!"

"Yeah. He's pretty nervous about it."

"That's fantastic!" Gerard grinned. "Wait - why did _my_ brother tell _you_ and not me?"

"Because you're terrible at keeping secrets and your proposal was an afterthought. I had a fucking _plan_. Of course he'd come to me for advice," Frank said. His voice was thick with sarcasm but the joke still hurt.

"It wasn't an afterthought..." Gerard flushed red, looking at his feet. "I always wanted to marry you, I just... I needed a reason to get over my fear of rejection. And the thought of losing you pushed me well fucking over that line," he sighed, watching as Frank's hand crept into his, resting heavily on his thigh. Frank squeezed his fingers, reassuring him that he understood. "What was your plan, anyway? Two years of marriage and I still don't know."

"Originally, was going to drive you up to New York for the weekend. A little getaway, just you and me. I had every fucking second planned out. First, we'd go to a carnival, and I'd win you a shitton of prizes you didn't need but would keep anyway, and I'd make you laugh as much as possible, and you'd be happy. I'd take you out for dinner, somewhere really fancy, and you'd think that I was going to do it, but I wouldn't. I'm not _that_ basic. Then we'd walk through the streets, holding hands and exchanging shy kisses on the cheek. I'd tell you about constellations, and how I failed chemistry in high school, and the story of how I met my old roommate, and everything in between. I'd tell you how much I love you. I'd tell you that I want to be with you forever. But I still wouldn't pop the question. Then we'd stay in a hotel that we couldn't afford, and when you woke up, I'd kiss you on the mouth and crawl out of bed and get down on one knee next to you, a velvet box in my hands and a promise on my lips. Because that would be real, when you still had bed hair and tired eyes, rather than when you were all prettied up. 'Cause I still love you, whether you're drooling onto my chest or looking stunning in a leather jacket and combat boots, and I want you to know that. And you'd cover your mouth and gasp, and I'd ask you to be mine forever, and you'd nod ridiculously, just like you do whenever your favourite scene in _Predator_ comes on, and your eyes'd be watering and we'd both cry and laugh about how ridiculous it was that we were crying, and when I'd put the ring on your finger, you'd start shaking, and you'd tell me you love me, and I'd be happier than I ever have been before-" Frank shook his head, slipping out of his lovelorn daze. He shot Gerard a winning smile. "And then we'd have fantastic sex, obviously."

"Frank..." Gerard covered his mouth with his hand and choked on a giggle through teary eyes. Frank sounded so passionate, he was so excited to show Gerard that he was ready to make the ultimate commitment, and Gerard had wrecked that moment for him. "That's so fucking perfect, I'm sorry for ruining-"

"No, no, don't be. Gee, I'm sorry for saying yours was an afterthought. It was beautiful. The fact that those words were spontaneous made it so much more raw. It was how you really felt. No preplanned bullshit. It was _real_." Frank glanced over at him briefly, saw the cold silver streaks that dashed down his cheeks like glaciers. "Oh my god, baby, don't cry. I'm so sorry, sugar, I shouldn't have said anything."

Frank pulled over. He unbuckled his seatbelt and climbed onto Gerard's lap, gripping his wrists and gently removing them from his husband's face.

"Hey," he said softly. Gerard looked at him with a shaky smile. "I mean it. What I had planned was cliché and ingenuine. What you did, that was _us_. It was heartfelt and unexpected and a little bit messy but that's just who we are. I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't love it. And at the end of the day, it doesn't even matter how it happened, only that it did. I wouldn't have cared if you'd just asked me civilly over a bowl of cereal. If you'd asked me in your fucking sleep. I still would've said yes, again and again, because I love you, every second of every day." Frank placed a lingering kiss on Gerard's lips and sighed. "I'm so fucking _gone_ , Gerard. So in love with you that I can't remember what it feels like to not put your needs over mine. What it feels like to be alone. What it feels like to be-"

Gerard shut him up with a kiss. "Don't you start crying too. At least one of us has to be a man if we want to have any hope of raising our kids right."

Frank laughed. Gerard relished in the sound of it, that sweet melody that had him captivated from the very first time he'd heard it. And he knew then that they might not be great parents, or great people, even, but they were  _real._ They were real and they'd give it their best shot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If any of y'all want to be friends my Instagram is @mikeywayoutofyourleague :) DM me any time for some quality sarcasm and song references.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	10. Like Fathers, Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two times Gerard and Frank don't fuck and one time they do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to update agH I don't really have any excuse other than I've been busy and sad but I'm feeling better now and I wrote some other fics and stuff so yay! Also his is the longest chapter yet though so I hope that makes up for my absence! Thank you (in advance) for reading!

"Thank god!" Frank threw himself onto the couch beside Gerard. His limbs were splayed awkwardly all over the couch and his husband, and Gerard laughed at him. He was absolutely adorable, no matter how much he denied it and said he was 'punk rock'. Frank watched Gerard from the side with a satisfied smile. "I thought they'd never go to sleep."

"They're difficult little fuckers," Gerard sighed happily. "I love 'em to bits, but they always steal you away."

"Well, I'm here now." Frank nuzzled his nose into Gerard's shoulder. "Wanna watch a movie?"

"Yes please. I'm so fucking sick of  _Paw Patrol_." Gerard handed the remote to Frank and watched as he chose  _A Nightmare On Elm Street_. The original, of course. "Good choice. I knew I married you for a reason."

"When are these marriage jokes going to end? It's been over five years. Give it up."

"What, and have my humour reduced to bad puns and poorly timed quotes? Not a chance," Gerard chuckled. Frank shook his head and laced his fingers with Gerard's, pulling his legs up onto the sofa. He kissed Gerard's knuckles, barely paying attention, as if it was a reflex to show such affection so nonchalantly. He relaxed into Gerard's side, head falling onto his shoulder, body pressing into him, a content sigh escaping his lips. Gerard just looked at him instead of watching the movie. The way his hair was overgrown and fucking gorgeous, curling over his forehead and down to his jaw. How he brushed it behind his ear with such grace, like he was fucking  _paid_  to look good. It drove Gerard crazy. That little hole in his lip from where the piercing used to be - Gerard hadn't wanted him to take it out, but after Helena almost ripped it off, they decided it would be best - and the matching one in his nose, that Gerard still accidentally fiddled with sometimes. The beautiful smile that graced his lips when someone in the movie was killed. How the light played off the curves of his face, illuminating his eyes and highlighting his nose and cheeks.

Gerard decided that he didn't do this often enough. Just sit back and admire Frank.

Frank caught him staring and grinned, sitting up a little bit so he could press a shallow kiss to Gerard's mouth. Then he froze, licked his lips, and gave Gerard the dirtiest look he'd seen in a while. " _God_ , you taste good. It's been so fuckin' long... You wanna...?"

Gerard nodded, so fast he was surprised to escape whiplash. Frank grinned. He grabbed Gerard by the shoulders and kissed him, open-mouthed and filthy, hands roaming everywhere and nowhere near where Gerard wanted them. It was hot and fast and careless; they were so desperate to touch each other after weeks of not being able to. They loved being parents, but sometimes it came at a cost.

Gerard hummed into Frank's mouth, feeling up his ass and thighs, the sound of screaming and metallic scratching ringing in the background, the depiction of death and horror not slowing them down even slightly. Frank let out a muffled moan, just as stimulated as the first time Gerard let his hands roam there. It was amazing, when he thought about it, that he was the only one to touch Frank there for the past seven or eight years. That after all that time, Frank still found him attractive, still said he was the most gorgeous man alive. Gerard smiled. Frank pulled away to give him a confused and slightly irritated look. Gerard shrugged, biting his lip. "I just really love you."

Frank moaned. "Goddamn it, I really wanna fuck you right now."

"Not even an 'I love you too'? Wow, you must be  _really_  horny." Gerard knocked Frank off balance so his body rested in top of his. He dragged his fingers slowly down Frank's shirt, leaning in to whisper in his ear. "What if  _I_  want to fuck  _you?"_

Frank fucking mewled, dropping his hips so they rested heavily flush with Gerard's. Gerard grabbed him by the hips and pulled him down hard, causing another groan to emerge from both of them. "I love you, Gerard, now  _please_  just fucking fuck me." Frank's voice was drawn out and strained, like he was trying to keep his voice down. Which was fair enough, seeing as their two daughters were sleeping less than twenty feet from them. Gerard opened his mouth to whisper something dirty when a new voice yelled out.

" _Daddy!"_

Frank and Gerard groaned in unison. "I got it," Gerard sighed in resignation. He eased off the couch and sulked down the hall to the twins' room. When he stepped inside, he saw Helena spread across her bed like a starfish, duvet spilling off the bed. She was humming quietly, as she always did when she was in a deep sleep, and Gerard grinned because it was fucking adorable. He glanced over at Emily's bed and saw the little girl watching him with wide eyes, a stuffed animal of some sort clutched to her chest. "What's wrong, Em?"

She reached out her arms, grabbing at the air repeatedly. Gerard took the hint and pulled her out of the bed with ease. She wrapped around him with surprising strength. "Daddy. I'm scared."

"Why are you scared, honey? Daddy already checked for monsters." He kissed her forehead and smoothed back her dark hair.

"'Morrow. I don't wanna go," she huffed, throwing the fluffy toy she was holding at the wall.

"You mean school? You don't need to worry about that. It's going to be everyone else's first day too. You'll make lots of new friends, and get to play with new toys, and learn how to do heaps of cool stuff, like read, or-"

Emily's eyes lit up. "Can I read Daddy's musicals?"

Gerard laughed fondly. "Of course you can, honey. Once you know how to read, you could even write one."

"I want to write a musical!"

"You can, Em, but first you need to learn about it. And do you know where you can learn how to read?"

"School!"

"That's right," he praised, tickling her nose. She giggled and squirmed in his arms. "That's why you need to go. So you can be just like Daddy."

"Okay!"

"Shh. Helena's sleeping." Gerard pulled back the blankets on Emily's bed and tucked her in tightly, retrieving the animal she threw. Even now that he was looking at it closely, he had no clue what it was supposed to be. But his daughter loved it, and that was all that mattered. "You need to go to sleep too."

"I don't wanna sleep," she grumbled.

"I'll tell you what - if you go to sleep I'll make you pancakes for breakfast."

Emily nodded enthusiastically, snuggling into her pillow.

Gerard kissed her cheek. "Good girl. After school tomorrow, I might even take you and Helena to buy a new toy, or maybe a book or something."

Emily frowned. "Daddy?"

"Yes, honey?"

"Will 'Lena find better friends? Do you think she'll still play with me?"

"You'll both make friends. You'll find someone who'll play princesses with you and Helena will find someone to play Batman with. But of course she'll still play with you. You'll always be her favourite."

"Okay," she nodded. "G'night."

"Goodnight, love." Gerard closed the door quietly behind himself, walking lightly down the hall and back to the living room. He didn't think he'd ever get over the fact that he and Frank had a real, actual house now. They were basically  _adults_. Adults with responsibilities and a mortgage and two little girls to look after. Gerard loved it. When he was younger, he'd never really seen himself settling down with a family. But now that he had all of that, there was nothing more he could ask for. Yeah, taxes sucked, and the school system they were just getting into was absolute bullshit, but Gerard loved Frank, and he loved his kids, and he loved his dogs and his house and his life. Gerard was the most stable he had been since he was a child, and, now that he thought about it, he actually kind of liked himself. Or, at least, didn't hate himself enough to do anything drastic. And it was all thanks to Frank. "Frank, sugar, she's asleep now, we-"

Gerard looked down at the couch, a smirk pulling at his lips. Frank was curled up, fast asleep, still with his jeans and hoodie on. His energetic spirit was strained when he spread out his attention between three people as well as his job and hobbies, and it was clear he was tiring. And it was no wonder; he was a great parent, a great husband, and a great musician. He had well and truly earned a good rest. Gerard internally pledged to take on Nightmare Patrol, as Frank had dubbed it - Helena had violent nightmares often, and being woken in the night to ward off the demons was not unusual - so Frank could get a full nights' sleep. Unfortunately, that couch fucking sucked, so Gerard was forced to try and move him so Frank wouldn't spend the entire day tomorrow complaining about how his back hurt. He kneeled down and pulled Frank to his chest, slipping one arm under his knees and the other down the length of his back. Frank stirred slightly but didn't wake up. Gerard drew him to his chest and rose to his feet, heart melting as Frank's arms instinctively wrapped around him. It reminded him of their wedding photos, when Frank wanted a cheesy bridal-style picture, and Gerard relentlessly teased him for weeks. He carried Frank to their room and lay him on their bed, gently undoing his belt. Frank frowned and started to flutter his eyes open. "Hey, I'm fuckin'  _married_ -"

"Shh, Frank. It's just me," Gerard grinned. That man was so loyal it was ridiculous.

"Ah, Gee. M'kay. Undress me all you like," Frank said drowsily, closing his eyes again. Gerard laughed and tugged off Frank's jeans and hoodie, leaving him in his boxers and a shirt that was definitely Gerard's at some point. That was one thing that they had over straight people: twice the wardrobe for half the price. "'Night, sugar. Love you."

"Love you too." Gerard pressed his lips to Frank's forehead and pulled the bedsheets over him like a child. He stripped to his boxers, not bothering to put on a shirt when he pulled his off with his jumper, and climbed into bed, chuckling quietly when Frank latched onto him and snuggled in tight. He kissed Frank's temple and closed his eyes, a small, happy smile on his lips.

***

"Mm," Frank hummed against Gerard's bare chest. He smoothly glided his fingers up and down, causing Gerard to squirm. He was ticklish, and Frank knew it, the fucker. Gerard slipped his own hand into Frank's hair, massaging his head lightly, waiting for that telltale purr that he always emitted when Gerard tugged slightly. "This is a good way to wake up."

"I'll keep that in mind," Gerard slurred, still half asleep. He woke up significantly more when Frank started kissing his chest lazily, biting and lapping at the skin as if he was testing how far he could push his husband this early in the morning. "Frank-"

"Daddy! Daddy!" Emily and Helena broke into the room with a bang and started climbing onto the bed. Two dogs followed after them, and it was absolute chaos. Frank sat up straight and started laughing, scratching Dracula's stomach as he writhed on the sheets and tickling Emily until she collapsed into a giggling mess. Gerard grinned at them all; it was like a fucking battle scene, but goddamn it, if it was any other way, it wouldn't be his family.

"Ew, Daddy, go put a shirt on!" Helena squealed. Gerard chuckled and slipped out of bed, glancing at the alarm clock. His eyes widened.

"Frank, oh my fu - uh, fudge. Look at the time!"

"Oh sh -  _heck_. Oh heck." Frank gently eased Emily off of him and scrambled out of bed, throwing on some jeans and tossing a pair at Gerard. He wriggled into them, found an old shirt on the floor, and picked up one kid in each arm. They squealed with joy that quickly turned to displeasure once they realized Gerard was taking them to the bathroom.

"Frank! Could you take bath time today? I promised Em I'd make her and Helena pancakes," Gerard called out. These two were monsters when it came to bathing. At the moment they were running around, laughing when Gerard tried to pin them down and take off their pyjamas.

"No way! I've been forcing them into that tub for the past week. It's your turn."

"Screw this," Gerard muttered. He squatted down so he was eye level with his daughters. "Hey, hey, girls."

They paused their rampage, looking at him quizzically.

"How would you like to do me a favour? If you pretend you've had a bath, I won't make you have one." Gerard sealed the deal with a grin. Helena crossed her arms stubbornly, shaking her head. "Fine. I'll give you two cookies for recess."

Helena nodded, giving Gerard a sloppy kiss on the cheek. "You're the best, Daddy."

"I know," Gerard grinned. He stood up and filled the glass that rested on the bathroom sink with warm water. He stirred his finger in the water to make sure it was not too cold, not too hot. "You still need to get changed, though."

Emily sighed dramatically and started to peel off her pyjamas. Once both twins were undressed, Gerard turned to them with a devilish grin. He drenched them with the glass of water, laughing when they squealed and frantically scrambled to splash him back. Within minutes it was a full-fledged battle, and Gerard was losing. He lay on the floor, giggling, while the two small girls wrapped themselves in fluffy towels and drowned him in cups full of water. Helena even grabbed the bottle of bubble bath liquid and squirted it at her sister, resulting in a foamy explosion in the room, and Gerard knew they'd never be able to clean this up. Frank, upon hearing the screams, walked into the bathroom, and immediately snapped a picture before joining in. Gerard let out a betrayed gasp when Frank swung Emily - who tossed a handful of bubbles into his hair - onto his back and turned on the tap, scooping handfuls of cold water and hurling them at Gerard. He scrambled up, soaking wet and dripping all over the bathroom floor, and made a dash for the door. Helena latched onto his leg and Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard's shoulders, leaving Emily to climb down in a bundle of white flannel and snatch the discarded cup. She filled it up and looked at the three people standing before her, thinking long and hard about who she was going to assault. Then she had an idea. "Daddy?"

"Yes, honey?" Gerard replied.

"What is it, sweetie?" Frank said at the same time. The downside being gay was that they never knew who their kids were talking about, because they were both referred to as 'Daddy.'

"If I pour this on 'Lena, not you, can I have ice cream for dinner?" She asked hopefully.

Frank laughed. "Nice try, Em, but-"

The tiny three year old tossed the glass at Frank, and he blinked in surprise, still gripping Gerard. Gerard pushed him off and laughed, rewarding his daughter with a high five. "C'mon, you two need to get dressed."

When they'd finally wrangled the impatient little girls into their clothes, smoothed themselves into a somewhat presentable form, and quickly made pancakes to eat on the way, they sped off to the school. It was within walking distance, but they were late, so Frank and Gerard grabbed Emily and Helena respectively and had a piggyback race. Frank won by a mile, but Gerard wouldn't give him the satisfaction of him admitting defeat.

This was Emily and Helena's second visit to the school - last week they'd had a sort of orientation day - so they knew exactly where to go and sped off with their dads in tow. They arrived at a nice classroom with ladybugs on the walls and colourful letters on the carpet, young children littered around, playing with figurines and building blocks and picture books. The teacher greeted them and Frank had a casual conversation with her while Gerard said goodbye.

"You two have fun today. I'm sure you'll make lots of new friends. Have you got your lunch? Good." He took their tiny backpacks and hung them side by side on the collection of hooks along the wall. Then he crouched down beside them, and he could see how anxious Helena was for him to leave. Emily looked more tentative, but she was nowhere near as nervous as she was last night. "Look after each other. And remember what I said about mean kids: just start crying and they'll get in trouble."

"Okay, bye Daddy! See you later!" Helena hugged him faster than the speed of light, then raced over to Frank and grasped his leg just as briefly before running to the back of the room to a boy who was surrounded by little race cars. Gerard's heart ached slightly at the sight; he was happy that she already liked it here, but he felt unnecessary, unsatisfactory.

"I should prolly go..." Emily twisted her foot on the carpet nervously. "Promise you'll come back and get me at the end of the day?"

Gerard laughed. "Of course we will, honey."

She nodded, fiddled with the Black Flag wristband she'd found in the garage, and flung herself into Gerard's arms. "I'll miss you," she said, squeezing his neck tightly for a few long moments before backing away.

"I'll miss you too." Gerard stood up as she shuffled over to Frank and he scooped her up, pressing sloppy kisses to her cheeks. She squirmed and giggled before he placed her back down and she walked off, instinctively heading towards her sister and her new friend.

Gerard watched as Helena introduced Emily to the boy, handing her a tiny toy Ferrari, showing her how to race it around the track. Emily smiled and soon the three of them were absorbed in some kind of game. Helena waved at Gerard with a big grin when she caught his gaze, and then crashed her car into the little boy's. Gerard felt Frank's arm wrap around his waist, head leaning against his shoulder. "Would you look at that. They're just as inclusive and lovely as I'd hoped. We did a good job rai - oh my god, Gee, are you crying?"

"N-no," Gerard lied, messily wiping the tears off his cheeks with shaky hands. Frank gave him a concerned look before taking his hand tightly in his own. He said goodbye to the teacher and they both waved a final farewell to the twins before Frank gently led Gerard out of the classroom and into the hallway. Gerard buried his face in Frank's neck and wrapped his arms tightly around his husband's body the second they were out of sight. "Frank, they're growing up."

"Of course they are, Gee," Frank said softly. "I know it's hard, and it's only going to get harder, but we can do this. We're strong enough,  _you're_  strong enough. They're going to grow up, whether we like it or not, and all we can do is support them. Yes, one day they're going to move out. They're going to start families of their own. But right now, it's up to us to raise them right. The best possible thing we can do for them is teach them to be good, honest people, and hope that they get treated fairly. And I think we can do it. We just need to remember what matters. I love you, Helena loves you, and Emily loves you. That's all we need."

Gerard tightened his grip. "I feel useless," he whispered. The realisation of what was happening had only just hit - his kids were starting to become independent. Even if they were only small, this was the start of the inevitable journey to adulthood, and Gerard didn't want them to take that road. He knew if was unrealistic to want them to stay three years old forever, but it was so much nicer this way. He didn't want them to mature and leave that innocent blindness behind. He didn't want their view of the world to evolve and morph into how he saw it; an ugly, polluted place, where greed and selfishness ruled. There were few good people left, like Frank and Mikey and Ryan and Pete, because it was improbable for roses to thrive in the desert. Gerard didn't want his baby girls to see the awful truth. He wanted them to be happy. "Frankie, what if we can't protect them from the rest of the world?"

"We'll never be able to fully protect them, but what we can do is defend them now, and train them to be bad ass fucking ninjas so they can look out for themselves."

Gerard laughed, and took a minute to let Frank's words sink in. He was right. It was inevitable, the girls growing up, but Gerard just had to cherish their childhood while he could and give them the best fucking battle gear possible to prepare them for the horrors they were bound to be exposed to eventually. He pulled away from Frank and they walked down the hall towards the car park together, sides fully touching. "Do you think they'll be alright?"

"Shut the fuck up, Gerard, of course they will," Frank giggled. Famous last words. "And you know what this means? We have the house all to ourselves."

"Fuck yeah," Gerard grinned. "Am I gonna get laid?"

"Yep," Frank said, kissing Gerard's cheek. Gerard blushed at the warm gesture and pulled Frank's body closer to his. "I can't fuckin' wait."

***

"Frankie? Frankie, is that the phone ringing?" Gerard mumbled against Frank's lips, too intoxicated off his husband to properly understand his surroundings.

Frank pulled off of him for a second to look around, in the same daze Gerard was, before nodding slowly. "I think it is," he spoke thoughtfully. Then he pressed down, lips crashing into Gerard's again.

"Can you go get it? It's dampening the mood."

"Gerard, we're making out on the fucking  _floor_ , how - you know what? I shouldn't even question you and your weird ass tendencies."

Gerard grinned, placing his hands on his chest and crossing his ankles as Frank picked himself up and walked across the room. "Love you!"

"Yeah, yeah," Frank dismissed with a wave of his hand. He picked up the phone, annoyance clear in his tone as he answered. Gerard sighed loudly as the conversation continued, trying to express his impatience as dramatically as possible. But then he looked over, saw Frank's wide eyes and bitten lip, and shot to his feet. Something was wrong. Gerard could read Frank like a book, so the longer the conversation dragged on, the more concerned Gerard grew with Frank's furrowed brow, and the louder the voices in his head telling him that his kids were dead became. When Frank finally hung up, Gerard was gripping his forearm like a madman. "Gee, baby, don't freak out, but..."

"But what?"

"That was the school. Helena has a suspected broken arm."

"Oh my god. Oh my  _god_. We... We were... We were about to have  _sex_ , and our baby has a broken bone? What if they need to amputate it? I'll never forgive myself. Are we gonna sue? We gotta sue. And homeschool. You know basic maths, right? And-"

"Sweetheart, this is exactly what I was talking about. You need to calm the fuck down. She's not going to lose her arm, we are not going to sue anyone, and we are not homeschooling the girls."

"But-"

"Gee," Frank said calmly, placing a careful hand on Gerard's shoulder. Gerard was on the brink of hyperventilation, until he looked into Frank's eyes and saw that gorgeous honey hazel staring back. He was reminded of the night he'd told him he loved him, the day Butternut went missing, all the stories he'd told Gerard about his struggles with his parents' divorce, and every other time anxiety decided to rear its ugly head and traumatize Frank. And that made Gerard realize that he needed to get his shit together, because if Frank could handle this so well, he should be able to too. "Let's just take little steps, alright? We'll just get in the car first. That's all we gotta do. Then we'll drive to the school, and figure out the rest. Okay?"

"Yeah," Gerard nodded. He followed Frank out the front door, locking it behind him and surprising the shorter man with his newfound inner peace as he slid into the driver's seat. "Frankie, I'm so proud of you."

Frank quirked an adorable little smile, seeming to catch Gerard's drift, and held Gerard's hand as they sped to the school in less than two minutes.

When they arrived at the classroom, Emily darted over, tears streaking her rosy cheeks, green eyes watery and red. She jumped into Frank's arms, and he held her tight and asked her what was wrong. She muttered something about a kid called Hannah and focussed on tracing the scorpion on Frank's neck instead. Gerard quickly scanned the room for Helena, and found her sitting in a little plastic chair next to the teacher's desk. The teacher was beside her, a frown on her thin lips and weary look that matched her careless bun of wiry grey hair. All the other children were playing outside, except for one little girl with blonde pigtails who was sitting in the corner, slumped miserably against a desk. Gerard rushed across the room and kneeled down so he was seeing eye to eye with his daughter. "Are you okay? How's your arm feeling?"

Helena gave him a surprisingly wide smile and weakly raised her right arm. With a single glance he could tell it was broken; her forearm was bent in the middle unnaturally, and Gerard's stomach clenched. He felt a stab in his chest, an actual, physical pain, and would give anything to be in her place. "I'm okay, Daddy. My arm feels good, s'long as I don't move it. It's Em you gotta worry about, she's sad."

Gerard's heart melted at that. Helena was more concerned about her sister than herself. He offered her a fond gaze and gave her left hand a squeeze. "You're very brave, honey. You know,  _I_  broke  _my_  arm once, back when I was a little bit older than you, and I cried like a baby."

"Really?" She giggled.

"Yep. Uncle Mikey and Uncle Pete had to carry me home," he laughed, and Helena laughed too. Gerard looked over at Frank, who was beaming at them. Emily was no longer crying, so she wriggled out of Frank's arms and sat down on the floor next to Helena's chair. 

"So what happened, 'Lena? Did you fall over or something?" Frank asked softly, ruffling her hair slightly in the way that always made her squirm and giggle. 

"Actually," the teacher piped in. "She was in a fight."

"What?" Gerard gasped. Frank raised his eyebrows and placed a hand on Gerard's shoulder. "No, not my baby. She's... Helena, did... Did you have an argument with someone?"

"Ya. Hannah," she nodded confidently, eyeing the girl in the corner. "Because she's a... A... What Daddy calls the neighbour. A  _douchebag_." 

Gerard gave Frank a stern glare. Frank shrugged nervously, avoiding the teacher's shocked gaze. "Honey, that's a bad word. I never should have said it. It's not nice to call people that."

"That's why I said it. Hannah was being mean."

"What did Hannah do?" Gerard asked.

"She made fun of me 'n Em because we have two daddies. 'Cause Hannah, she's got one daddy, and one mommy," Helena explained. Frank flinched, and Gerard noticed. That had always been one of Frank's biggest concerns about having kids; he didn't want them to be bullied because of their fathers' sexuality. And if there were already signs of this, on the first day of school, they were in for a rough few years. "So I told her that my two daddies are better than her stupid mommy and daddy, 'cause it's true, 'n she pushed me over. I punched her in her stupid face first, though."

Emily nodded. "'Lena is a  _superhero_. Like Wonder Woman or Spider-Man."

Gerard opened his mouth the reply, but a man and a woman burst in the door, hurrying over to the blonde girl that was presumably Hannah. The teacher must have called her parents, and rightly so, in Gerard's opinion. Hopefully they would be less homophobic than their daughter.  Only a few stern words could be picked up, but eventually the three walked over to the teacher's desk, apologetic looks on the parents' faces. The mother turned to Gerard and Frank, seeming rather embarrassed. "I'm so sorry about my daughter's actions. It is inexcusable. We'll pay for the medical bills, whatever you want," she said, before turning to Hannah. "I am  _very_  ashamed of you. I thought we'd raised you better than this. Some people have a dad and a mom, some people have two dads, some people have two moms, some people have just one dad or mom. It doesn't change who they are as a person. I want you to apologise right this instant." 

Gerard felt relief flood his system, and he knew Frank felt the same by the noticeable relaxation that hit his tensed body. Maybe the world wasn't as homophobic as they'd feared.

Hannah sheepishly turned to Helena and Emily. "I'm sorry."

Emily stuck out her tongue at her and tugged on Gerard and Frank's sleeves. They both leaned down to hear what she had to say, and tried to hold in their laughter when the little girl whispered ' _douchebag_.'

***

"It hurts," Helena whimpered, a tear rolling down her cheek. It broke Gerard's heart clean in two. Frank wiped away the tears with his thumbs, trying his best to stay out of the doctor's way as he set Helena's cast. 

"You're doing so well, honey. It'll be over soon. I'm so proud of you," Frank praised. Emily had her face buried in Frank's side, arms around his waist, as if she couldn't bear to see her sister in pain. Gerard could barely take the sight either. He stood behind Frank, hands clutching his shoulders a bit too tightly. "Good girl. Just think about how good it's going to be when we get home and have ice cream for dinner."

"All done," the doctor confirmed a few excruciating moments later. "I'll see you all in a few weeks to check how she's going. It's a clean break - the cast should be off in no time."

"Thank you," Gerard said, releasing Frank so he could get up. Frank carefully lifted Helena from the doctor's chair, resting her on his hip. Emily climbed up too, and Gerard was impressed with the ease that Frank was carrying the two girls with. He smiled at them, kissed his daughters on the cheeks and Frank twice on the lips, and followed them out of the room so he could pay for the appointment. He was a bit disappointed with this extra expense, because he'd been planning to surprise his family with a holiday. They definitely weren't poor, but they weren't rich, especially with recent closing of the comic book store that Gerard had taken over the management of a few years ago, so this would put off his idea for a few months. But at the end of the day, nothing came before his daughter's health.

Helena talked the whole way home about how badass she was and how all the other kids at school would bow down to her like some kind of god. Frank laughed and said she'd be like the Roschach of the schoolyard, which she thankfully didn't understand.

"It's ugly," Helena frowned, looking down at her cast. She had thrown herself dramatically onto the couch the second they'd arrived home, groaning inwardly. "How 'm I supposed to show the other kids how tough I am if my arm looks like this? I gotta teach them not to make Em cry again, or I'll kick them."

"Helena, you can't just go around kicking people," Frank giggled. "At least not until your arm's better."

" _I_  think it looks cool. Like Wonder Woman! Just like I said. She's a superhero," Emily said.

"Wonder Woman has a pretty outfit. I'll  _never_  be pretty with this ugly thing on my arm," Helena slumped miserably into the couch. 

"You are pretty, Helena, you're  _beautiful_ , and you always will be. You too Emily. You are both gorgeous and don't let anyone tell you otherwise." Gerard stood up and gestured for them to follow him down the hall. "But if you're really that concerned about it, I think I have a solution." 

Frank padded after them, amused.

"You're gonna let us in the  _secret_  room?" Emily gasped as they walked into the studio. 

Frank chuckled. "It's not a secret. It's a room that needs to be quiet so we can concentrate."

"Ew. Do you come in here to  _kiss_?" Helena's face scrunched up in disgust. Gerard and Frank both laughed at that.

"We wait until you're asleep to do that," Frank said with a wink. 

"Gross!" Both girls whined. Gerard shook his head and grabbed a few paint brushes and a palette, squirting some acrylic primary colours onto it. Then he sat Helena down in Frank's self-proclaimed Composer's Chair, pulling a stool over next to her. 

"What do you want on it? I could make it look just like Wonder Woman's if you want," Gerard asked. Helena's face lit up at the realisation, and she sat back, considering all her options. 

"Um," she pondered. "Can you paint me some zombies? Like the picture of you and Daddy on the wall?"

"Of course I can."

***

"Gerard?" Frank called out.

"In the bedroom," Gerard replied. He was grinning, even though Frank couldn't see him. He was imagining his husband's reaction when he walked in and saw Gerard sitting on the edge of the bed, legs crossed and eyes full of fake innocence.

"It's suspiciously quiet. Where are the girls?" Frank asked. Gerard listened to his footsteps eagerly, counting down the seconds until he entered the room.

"At Mikey and Pete's."

"Oh, of course, Helena wanted to show Pete her cast. How is the wedding planning going? They've been engaged for  _ages_. You called up the florists for them, didn't-" Frank walked into their bedroom, and did a double take when he saw Gerard. His jaw fell open and he dropped his keys and phone with a loud clatter as Gerard watched him with amusement. "Oh my god.  _Fuck_. Fuck, fuck,  _fuck_ , Gerard."

"You like it?" Gerard cocked his head to the side, knowing perfectly well that Frank liked it. He fiddled with the hem of the lacy material that ended below his hip, feeling Frank's eyes glued to his every move. "It's not too much?"

"Oh,  _fuck_ , no. This is - fuck, Gerard, you look so fucking  _hot_ , I just wanna-" Frank timidly approached, and Gerard smirked up at him from behind his hair. "Oh my god, did you shave your fucking legs?"

"Yeah." Gerard looked down at the translucent black tights that stopped mid-thigh, and the pale skin between them and the lingerie, thinking about how bare it looked. He kicked his legs subconsciously, flicking his eyes up to see Frank tracking the movement of his stylish black stilettos hungrily. He smiled. He was going to have fun with this. He leaned back onto his elbows, stretching out his legs so Frank could see the tights in all their glory. The heels clicked together and Frank let out a short whine. He inched closer, and Gerard placed the sole of his shoe against Frank's chest. Frank froze. Gerard smiled at him sweetly, hoping he noticed the blood red lipstick. "You know me. I'm an all-or-nothing kind of guy."

"Mm," Frank hummed, and it was clear he wasn't really listening. Gerard swore he could feel Frank's heart beat against the slim heel of his shoe. Frank suddenly shook his head, as if he was trying to regain his bearings. He held Gerard's ankle, but ended up sliding his fingers down his leg, a low growl in his throat. Then he shook his head again, hair becoming unruly. "Gerard, sweetheart, you didn't have to do this."

"I know," Gerard purred. He swung his legs around and rose to his knees, studying Frank's tie for a few seconds before using it to gently pull him closer. "But I wanted to. And you like it, right, Frankie?"

"Very much. Very,  _very_..." His voice faded away as his eyes drifted from Gerard's overgrown hair down to his dark red lips, from the lacy black corset down to the sheer panties that were hiding absolutely nothing, from the milky white of his thighs down to the elastic that was holding his tights up. Gerard yanked him onto the bed, climbing on top of him so he would have maximum control. Not that Frank was really a force to be reckoned with right now - he was so full of lust he was practically useless. Gerard was straddling his hips, hands planted on Frank's chest to keep him down. Frank lightly dragged his fingers up and down the sides of Gerard's body, eventually rubbing his hands over the fabric more roughly. Gerard just moaned quietly as Frank's hands roamed everywhere and anywhere.

"Y'know, when I was buying all of this, the cashier told me she wished her husband would get her nice things too. And I winked at her and said 'I'm sure mine will appreciate it.' Man, the look on her face. I love it when people like her assume I'm straight."

Frank laughed, still feeling Gerard up. "I certainly do appreciate it. How did you even get into this by yourself?" He thumbed at the lace-up back with an impressed expression.

"A magician never shares his secrets."

Frank smiled. Then he frowned. "You didn't get someone to help you, did you?"

"Of course not, Frankie. You're the only one who knows about this. As if I'd go to my brother or his fiancé or fucking  _Ray_ , asking to lace up my fucking  _corset_ ," Gerard chuckled. "Nah, sugar, this is only for you."

"Fuck," Frank said simply. He gripped Gerard's thighs, hips, waist, touching anything he could get his hands on. "God, Gerard, it's been so long since I've been able to touch you like this." Gerard nodded. He knew. "You're so pretty. Really, it's a shame that the rest of the world is denied the blessing of seeing you like this. But on the other hand, I'm a selfish guy. I want you all to myself."

"Good thing I'm all yours then." Gerard leaned in to whisper in Frank's ear, feeling the shiver that coursed through his husband's body when his lips brushed his skin. "I  _belong_  to you."

"Oh my god, fuckin' kiss me already," Frank begged. Gerard obliged, but not in the way Frank had intended. He pressed his lips to Frank's neck, causing him to squirm and whine and complain that that was not what he meant. But Gerard didn't care, he liked seeing the purple bruises flower when he sucked too hard, a ring of red lipstick surrounding them.

"You're adorable," Gerard exasperated. "I'm gonna let you fuck me so hard."

"Stop it, Gerard! I'll come before we even start!"

"I'm that good, huh?"

"Yeah, whatever. Are we gonna have sex or not?" Frank rolled his eyes. Gerard scoffed and wriggled his hips, smiling when Frank groaned loudly. He finally kissed Frank, full on the lips, tongue teasing him until he couldn't take it anymore. Frank grabbed Gerard's ass with one hand and lost his fingers in Gerard's hair with the other, pulling his head down and sucking Gerard's tongue into his mouth. Gerard pushed Frank's shirt up, dying to see the inked skin underneath. They separated for a few seconds to pull Frank's shirt and tie over his head, and while he was distracted, Frank pushed Gerard off so he landed on his back. He traced a careful finger down the side of Gerard's face. "Fuckin' masterpiece, you are. I don't tell you often enough. You're beautiful."

"So are you. Even after a long day of writing your heart out, you're still as gorgeous as the day I met you seven years ago."

"It's weird talking sweet when you're wearing fucking  _lingerie_ ," Frank laughed. He kissed the centre of Gerard's collarbone, just above where the corset started. Then he continued, lips dragging across the rough fabric, down until he was mouthing at Gerard's dick for a split second before kissing the bare of his thighs. Gerard gasped as Frank sucked marks onto his skin, hoping they'd remain as a memory for days to come. He covered his mouth with one hand, grasping desperately at the sheets with the other. Frank stopped lapping at the smooth flesh suddenly. He looked up at Gerard, a fire in his eyes. "You don't have to tone it down for anyone. You can be as loud as you want. And  _god_ , do I know how loud you can be." Frank gently pulled the hand from Gerard's mouth, gulping when he gripped his own thigh instead. "I want you to make some noise for me. Can you do that, baby?"

Gerard nodded eagerly. Frank smiled, pressing a delicate kiss to Gerard's inner thigh, watching the shudder that coursed through his body as his nose brushed against his husband's dick. His hands gripped Gerard's hips, thumbs drawing soft circles into the material that covered them. A loud cry was ripped from Gerard's throat when Frank hovered his mouth hotly over Gerard's underwear, tongue mapping the obvious outline of his erection. Gerard didn't even have to play up the sounds he was making - he and Frank had been the together for long enough that Frank could play him like his guitar. He knew where to put his mouth, when to use his teeth, how to twist his tongue, to draw the sweetest sound from Gerard's lips. Frank knew Gerard better than Gerard knew himself. He hummed quietly, a tune he'd probably been working on all day, and the vibrations made Gerard ache for Frank's touch. "Fuck, Frank - oh my  _god_ , baby, please please  _please_ -"

Frank grinned, satisfied with the reaction he was receiving. He kissed Gerard's thigh once more before crawling up his body to pepper his face in short sharp kisses. He pressed his hips down into Gerard's, and it was clear that Frank was savouring the sounds that were coming from Gerard's cherry red lips. Every pleasured moan that escaped him caused Frank to bite his lip and let out a tiny groan from deep in his throat, pupils blown and body quivering. Gerard impatiently pawed at Frank's pants. When Gerard failed repeatedly, Frank reluctantly climbed off the bed and worked at his belt with shaky hands, so focused he didn't even notice Gerard coming up behind him until he reached around and undid the buckle with ease. He slid the material down Frank's thighs, helping him kick off his shoes and slip the pants off. He spun Frank around, dropping to his knees, listening to the obnoxiously loud groan that he let out before Gerard even touched him.

"A little premature, dontcha think, baby?" Gerard purred. He delicately smoothed his hands up Frank's thighs to firmly grip his hips.

"You're on your  _knees_  in a fucking corset and stockings and  _heels_. You can't expect me to  _not_  get excited."

Gerard smiled and leaned in, making sure he was looking straight into Frank's eyes when he took him in his mouth. The noises that filled the room were so fucking obscene that Gerard moaned around him, ripping a quiver from Frank that shook his whole body. He sucked on the tip, hollowing his cheeks and flicking his gaze up in the way he knew drove Frank crazy. Frank was losing his hands in Gerard's hair, tugging and pulling his head down. Gerard held his hips in place when they started to twitch forward but let Frank drag his mouth up and down his dick. He liked the feeling of Frank taking control, desperate to sink further down Gerard's throat.

Frank's mouth was hung open and his eyes were half-lidded. Gerard pulled away when he noticed the familiar dizzy look on Frank's face and the way his thighs were clenching, a trail of saliva stringing between his grinning lips and Frank's cock. Frank's eyes flew open, desperate for Gerard to finish what he'd started. Gerard pumped his hand along Frank's spit-slick erection a few times before rising to his feet and dragging a wet, sticky finger down Frank's jaw and under his chin.

"Where do you want me?" Gerard purred. "Against the wall?" He splayed himself across the navy plaster by the window, a dirty smirk on his lips. "On the floor? The kitchen counter? If we did it on the window sill the neighbours might see..."

"God fucking damn it, Gerard, stop being so fucking kinky and get on the goddamn bed," Frank exasperated, and Gerard could see he was almost there already. He grinned and threw himself onto the bed, bouncing onto his back. Frank looked at him, eyes raking the outfit repeatedly, a groan pushing past his lips when Gerard kicked his shoes to the ground. He crawled up beside Gerard, kissing him with a surprising sweetness. It was a weird angle, but felt nice nonetheless. Then he pressed his lips to Gerard's neck, kissing and biting to his heart's content. Gerard gripped Frank's hair with one hand and the back of his neck with the other, squeezing roughly when he sunk his teeth into the tender skin below his jaw. Frank was making almost as much noise as Gerard was, guttural growls vibrating against his neck and doubling the pleasure. When Frank pulled away, his eyes were full of lust and - strangely enough - affection. He swept Gerard's fringe out of his face and pressed a delicate kiss to his forehead, as if to reassure the other of his love. "So fuckin' pretty, Gee. Now roll over."

Gerard grinned and obeyed. Frank clambered onto him, straddling his thighs. He started to unlace the back of Gerard's corset, dragging his lips over the skin as it was exposed, causing Gerard to whimper quietly underneath him. A few stitches tore when Frank got impatient, but Gerard didn't care. Once Frank had thrown it to the floor beside the bed, he shuffled down Gerard's legs, sliding the panties down with him. He was slowly cursing to himself as he touched Gerard's stocking-clad thighs, still kissing down Gerard's spine. A loud cry was drawn from Gerard's mouth as Frank unexpectedly bit Gerard's ass. " _Now_ , Frank,  _please_ , I want you  _now_ ," Gerard moaned, voice muffled against the bedspread.

"Fuck, I love it when you beg for me." Frank shuffled down the bed and curled his fingers around Gerard's hips, hot hands burning into his skin. "Up," Frank demanded. Gerard shakily rose until he was only held up by his hands and knees, limbs quivering with anticipation. He would have collapsed if it wasn't for Frank's hands as they grasped at every piece of flesh he could touch. He skulked away for a few moments as he grabbed the bottle of lube from the bedside table, groaning inwardly as he squirted some into his hand and stroked his erection.

"Frank?" Gerard said shyly as the other man lined himself up.

"Yeah?" Frank asked. His voice was dusted with concern and his fondness was clear as he gently circled his thumb on Gerard's side. Gerard found himself in awe of his husband once again. Because Frank was leaking like a motherfucker, lubed up and ready to fuck the living daylights out of Gerard, but still prioritized Gerard's feelings.

"I love you."

Frank paused, and Gerard could imagine the beautiful smile that graced his face. "I love you too, baby. Don't you ever forget that."

"I won't. Now c'mon, I wanna feel you inside of me."

Frank chuckled. "Anything for you." He slowly pushed in and Gerard's mouth fell slack. Frank groaned and pulled Gerard's hips against his own until he bottomed out. "Fuck, Gee, you feel so good..."

Gerard was loud, so loud that he worried the neighbours might report them, but at this point he was too far gone to care. Frank was sliding in and out, fast and hot and like fucking heaven, and Gerard was doing his best to push back or move his hips or help out in any way but he was in too much bliss to be capable of much. Frank didn't seem to mind, if the strings of profanities that slipped past his lips said anything. His fingers skidded over the tights, clenching the flesh of Gerard's thigh with a deep growl that caused Gerard's stomach to do somersaults and brought him back to the days when he was nervous around Frank and went out of his way to make sure he was pleasing him. That thought gave him the energy to arch his back and circle his hips, and the outcome was worth it. Not only did he press up against his prostate, causing a paralyzing wave of pleasure to tear through his body like tsunami, but Frank threw back his head and cried out in a broken voice that told Gerard that he was close to losing it. Gerard shivered. This was just what they both needed, pure physical bliss to relieve them of their stressful lives and remind them that they were still as electric as always. "Frank, fucking -  _ahh_  - just  _go_ for it, fucking fuck me-"

Frank sped up, going in harder, crushing Gerard's ability to make this last. He collapsed, cheek pressed to the bedsheets, eyes half open, arms weakly bracing himself against the bed. Frank pressed his palm to Gerard's ass, sliding it down his back, other hand holding his hip and pulling him closer. Gerard lost it when Frank's hand slipped into his hair, tugging on the jet black strands with a desperateness that he reflected. He guessed it was the noise he let out that made Frank come immediately after, but could not find it in himself to think. His mind was completely blank, aside from the repetitive chanting of  _Frank, Frank, Frank_ in his head as his husband rode out his orgasm inside of him, the pleasure so intense that he let out a strangled sob. He was definitely going to be feeling this for while, but right now he just needed to focus on regaining the breath that Frank had seemingly taken away.

"God _damn_  it, Frank," Gerard gasped, body weak and limp on the bed. Frank chuckled lightly, equally exhausted. "I think you broke me."

"Good. Can't have you getting away," Frank spoke breathlessly. He looked fucked out and tired, eyes glazed over and body shaky, but he tugged the stockings off Gerard's legs and threw them to the floor despite his fatigue. Gerard laughed, raising an eyebrow, and Frank flopped beside him, pushing him onto his back and curling up against his chest. "Can't concentrate when you have fuckin' tights on."

They lay there on the brink of sleep, waiting for their heartbeats to slow down and breathing to return to normal.

"Do you remember the first time we made love?" Frank asked, soft breaths falling onto Gerard's neck and causing his skin to prickle in the best kind of way.

Gerard cringed. "I hate that phrase."

"I know. That's why I said it," Frank said with a grin. He drummed his fingers on Gerard's chest thoughtfully. "I do think it's fitting, though. It felt like more than sex - to me, at least. It was about love, and intimacy, and trust. Sex was never about trust until I met you. It was about getting off. But you... You're special. That first time, you were nervous, but you trusted me. And it meant a lot. I just wanted to be close to you. As close as I could get. And I still do, I still want to get as close as I can, and when you go out of your way to make me feel good, it's... You make me feel loved."

"I love you." Gerard smiled. "Isn't that strange? That after all this time, we still love each other? I mean, I always knew this wasn't going to be a fleeting romance, but I think that it's amazing. We don't fight often, and when we do we can always sort it out, because what we have is that strong. It's like... It's like we're magnetic, or something, because how slim are the chances of us meeting? Not to mention that we even exist in the same century. Or even-"

"Don't get all conspiratory and shit on me. You know how much it melts my brain when we talk about time and space," Frank giggled. "But yeah. It's like a fucking miracle. I still can't believe that you're mine.  _Mine_. No one else is allowed to touch you like I do. No one else is allowed to fall asleep beside you like I do. No one else is allowed to -  _goddamn_  it, Gerard."

"What?"

"I can see your fucking lingerie on the floor and it's so hot I want to cry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm fairly sure that the next chapter will be the last? Haven't decided yet though ahh. 
> 
> Apologies again for my disappearance, thank you for reading!!


	11. The Drag Gear And Mischievous Kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank takes Gerard out to celebrate their tenth anniversary and they relive all of their best memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH LOOK WHO FINALLY UPDATED I'm sorry this took so long I hope it was worth the wait (probably not lmao)

It was midnight when Gerard woke up.

He hadn't even set an alarm or anything, it was a purely instinctual reaction. "Happy anniversary, sugar," he said, voice hoarse and sleepy but excited nonetheless. "Ten years. Can you believe it?"

"What  _I_  can't believe is that you just woke me up in the middle of the night," Frank groaned. He tightened the arms wrapped around Gerard's waist and pulled his body closer, face nuzzling into his neck. He left a soft kiss that brought a smile to Gerard's lips. "Go back to sleep."

"Alright, Frankie. I love you."

Frank grunted in reply and drifted off again almost instantly. Gerard took a little longer, the excitement that coiled inside of him almost too much to bear. A decade was a long time, and to think that they had spent it all together was incredible. He felt Frank's heartbeat steadily pulsing against his back and let it lull him to sleep.

When he woke up again, it wasn't instinctual, and it wasn't voluntary. His shoulder was being shaken with increasing impatience, and he groaned and swatted the hand away. "Baby, I'm sorry for waking you up last night. I wanna sleep. I'll make it up to you later, I promise."

"I'm not your baby. And please, do not tell me how you propose to make it up to him."

Gerard jolted up, jarring his shoulder in the process, and saw Mikey sitting on the edge of his bed with crossed arms and an unwelcoming scowl. "Bloody hell, Mikes. Scared the shit out of me," he sighed and relaxed back into the mattress. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms, yawning and crawling back under the covers. Mikey wasn't having a bar of that, however, and yanked the duvet off the bed.

"C'mon. Get dressed. Frank said you need to wear a  _Star Wars_  shirt," Mikey said bluntly, leaving the room. Gerard sighed and did as he was told. He didn't bother showering because deodorant could totally mask the stench of his body.  _Duh_.

He wrestled with the shirt for a while and stopped squirming with it half on to smile to himself.  _Star Wars shirt_. Frank remembered the shirt Gerard was wearing when they first met. Gerard's heart skipped a beat and he thought about how a few days ago he was sure that he'd seen it all, that he could read Frank with his eyes closed by now, but no, he was still impressed and surprised by the feats his husband managed to achieve. And if this was just the first thing Frank had in store for him today, Gerard was excited as fuck to see what else he had planned. They took turns each year to plan an anniversary, and although Gerard had told Frank that the tenth was just like any other year, he didn't have to do anything too special, blah blah blah, Frank had insisted that it was monumental and was prepared to pull out all the stops. Frank was nothing if not true to his word: he really did spend his life making sure Gerard felt appreciated and loved - when he wasn't spoiling the shit out of the kids, that is.

"Happy wedding birthday, Daddy!" Emily declared when Gerard had finished fixing his hair and applying eyeliner for old time's sake. "Uncle Pete said that your wedding is ten years old now. That's super old. Probably like the eighth oldest ever."

"Thanks, honey. And you know what? Ten years is probably at least the  _seventh_  oldest ever," Gerard giggled, snatching a jacket up off the floor. Emily gasped and rushed out of the room, most likely to confront Pete about this new information. Mikey walked over from the kitchen counter he was leaning on, ruffling Helena's hair and telling her to go grab her stuff. "Hey, are you going to come to Helena's dance recital next Saturday? It's just at the school auditorium, but she's got a solo bit in it and everything. It'd mean the world to her if you and Pete came."

"Yes, Gerard, once again, we are coming. Just like we said yesterday. And last week. And the week before  _that_."

"Oh. Right," Gerard blushed, turning on the coffee machine. He was just really excited about Helena's achievements, and what kind of dad would he be if he didn't invite every relative he was still on speaking terms with? Meaning, just Mikey and Pete. When the girls were about two, Gerard and Frank had taken them to a big Thanksgiving dinner with all of the extended Way family, which resulted in homophobic slurs fired at the couple from Gerard's more conservative Christian aunts that escalated to abusive comments from cousins and nieces alike. Mikey and Pete were visiting the Wentz's in Los Angeles at the time, so Gerard had looked desperately to his mother as his only remaining source of backup. When she, and his father, failed to protect their son and his family in any way, the fallout was destructive and widespread. It wasn't the first time they'd let things like this slide, and it felt almost like their tolerance for their sons' sexuality was wearing thin. When they were alone they were lovely, but when company was introduced they treated Gerard as a stain on their reputation. Gerard had told them that the twins deserve better than to be insulted by people who only know their blood, and grandparents that disrespect the choices their children make are not the kind of influences he wants to have around. Only then did they fight back, and that confirmed Gerard's decision. He told them they weren't welcome to visit him or his kids anymore, and although it hurt, he knew it was the right thing for Helena and Emily, and Frank was endlessly proud of him.

"Pete and I are taking the girls for the night. And before you say it, yes, I told him not to overload them with sugar again. We're just going to take them to a carnival, and then back home. They're getting into the car now. Frank's told us everything we need to know, okay, so don't you dare call us until tomorrow."

Gerard frowned, looking around the room, only just noticing that Frank wasn't there. He poured his coffee and took a sip before asking. "Where's-"

"Frank? He asked me to tell you to meet him at the comic book store at ten. Or, I guess, where the comic book store used to be."

Gerard smiled. "Was he wearing a Misfits shirt when he left?"

"How did you know?" Mikey asked, raising a questioning eyebrow, before shrugging and deciding he didn't care. He picked up a couple backpacks off the ground that Gerard assumed were full of snacks and spare clothes for the girls' day ahead. Head tilted, he gave Gerard a fond, genuine smile that gave his brother a rush of happiness that warmed his heart. It wasn't often that Mikey smiled, but when such an event did occur, it was almost always because of his family. "Happy anniversary, big brother. I know I don't say this often enough, but I'm really glad you and Frank found each other. You both deserve to be happy."

"Thanks, Mikey. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. Frank and I both probably would have gone insane by this point."

"Yeah, well... You know how much Pete and I adore the girls. It's really no problem to pick them up every now and again. It's the least we can do. Plus, we've got to stick together, especially after Mom..."

"Yeah..."

"You did the right thing, Gee. I hope you know that."

"Sometimes it feels like I didn't. Like I'm depriving the twins from a family."

"Don't you dare think like that. You're protecting them."

"I-" Gerard began, but Helena came racing into the room, dragging Mikey out by the pinky. Gerard chuckled and followed them to the door. He hugged all four of them goodbye - making sure to tell Pete not to let them get their ears pierced, no matter how much they begged - before heading out to meet Frank.

***

"Hi."

Gerard grinned, toothy and happy. "Heyo."

Frank grabbed his husband's hand, kissing his ring finger and the two bands that rested on it. "Happy anniversary, love. Let's get out of this trashy cafe and begin the extensive celebrations."

"What have you got planned? I hope it wasn't too expensive. You know how much-"

"Sweetheart, today's not the day to stress about money. We're going to have a good time and I'm going to show you how much I still love you, even though you obsess over everything constantly," Frank said with an exaggerated eye roll, affection clear as he gazed down at their hands. "Today's going to be more about memories than extravagancies. I like to think you'd prefer that."

"You know me too well, Iero."

"That's Iero- _Way_  to you, fucker." He jabbed Gerard's chest with one finger and a smirk on his lips. They wandered out onto the streets, familiar atmosphere surrounding them. Gerard's mind raced as he thought about what Frank might mean by memories, but it seemed - once again - as if Frank could read Gerard's mind. "First stop: the park opposite that dodgy hairdresser that gave Em a bowl cut."

Gerard chuckled heartily. He'd almost cried with laughter when he saw his daughter with that ridiculous haircut, and actually did when Helena tried to fix it with a pair of rusty secateurs she'd dug up in the backyard. Frank had almost tackled her to the ground because she was that close to slicing open her sister's forehead. Gerard laughed harder when he remembered Mikey walking into the kitchen and seeing Frank holding decaying gardening utensils over his daughter's head as she jumped repeatedly for them.

Frank smiled at him, eyes crinkled and happiness radiating. "This is exactly what I wanted. We're going to visit all of the good memories we've acquired over the years and then we're going to make some more."

Gerard just gaped at him, because how could he possibly respond to that. Apparently that's what Frank had been aiming for, because he beamed ridiculously and literally skipped off ahead, meaning Gerard had to jog behind him to keep up. He chased his husband through the streets, giggling as he weaved through the crowds, short stature allowing him to duck under arms. It felt like they were kids, despite Gerard being almost forty. He sped up as the park loomed on the horizon and latched his arms onto Frank's waist, spinning him around. "I'm not letting you slip away just yet."

"Hey, Gee?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we... Let's not think about the bad shit today. Only good memories. We can pretend we're some fairytale couple with a perfect relationship and angelic kids and a loving family and no horrible experiences for one day, right?" Frank practically begged. Gerard understood that. Life was a difficult ordeal, and trouble arose everywhere eventually. There was the time Frank had accidentally spent a dozen grand on Netflix and Gerard was forced to pick up extra work, or when Gerard relapsed and Frank only found out because Helena had found a stash of cigarettes in the garage. When Emily had run away for five hours and Frank had to be hospitalized because his panic attack was so bad, or the day Gerard almost died in a near-miss car accident. There was the death of Frank's father, and when Butternut had to be put down. There was a lot of terrible things, and sometimes Gerard wondered if life was worth living. But then he'd look at Emily and Helena and Frank and decide that yes, yes it was.

"Of course." Gerard kissed his shoulder and dug in his mind for something positive to lift Frank's spirits. "Remember the first time the girls saw snow and we made forts in the backyard? And it was me and 'Lena against you 'n Em, but then they teamed up against us and won, and when Ray came over with a late birthday gift, he was greeted with a snowball to the face."

Frank relaxed in Gerard's arms. It felt as easy as ever, and as the wind blew colourful autumn foliage past them, it was like falling in love all over again. They still needed each other more than was fathomable. "Gerard, I want you to know that I love you more than I ever thought possible and even though ten years is fucking ages, I plan on being your husband for many more decades."

"You're an absolute fool if you think I'd let you be anything else."

Frank slipped the arms from around his waist and held one of Gerard's hands in both of his own. Gerard leaned his head on the other man's shoulder as they skirted the perimeter of the park, trying not to step on too many of the dwindling flowers peeking through the fallen foliage in the grass. They didn't talk for a while, because they didn't need to. It was comfortable. And as the cool air blew their hair and scarves around, they were happy.

"Do you remember what happened on that bench?" Frank smirked, nodding to the wooden seat a dozen feet ahead of them. It was almost completely concealed by trees, which softened Gerard's oncoming blush dramatically.

"Yeah," he giggled, cheeks still colouring considerably. "That's where we  _almost_  had sex for the first time."

"Fuck, that was so long ago. What event was on that day? Because I remember there were-"

_"- fireworks," Gerard pondered. He looked at the colours that lit up the smoggy night sky in awe. He'd never really paid attention in chemistry, so his innocent, childish ignorance as to how fireworks came to be was never stripped from him. "How romantic." He turned to face Frank, liking how the blues and reds and yellows played off the curves of his gorgeous face. He tried to take a mental photograph so he could draw it later. "We should kiss."_

_"Well, if you insist," Frank grinned, leaning in for a short, sweet kiss. He licked his lips and fluttered his eyelids, muttering something about Gerard being a good kisser, before going back for more. Gerard didn't protest. He opened his lips against Frank's, feeling the other man's fingers curling around his jaw. Being close to Frank felt right, it felt meaningful, like they were truly just kissing to experience the closeness and intimacy of their relationship rather than for the sake of pleasure._

_Biting at Frank's bottom lip, Gerard encouraged his mouth open, feeling strangely confident and earning a surprised yelp. He planted his palms on Frank's thighs, squeezing every now and again. Frank would squirm and try to muffle his moans by pressing his tongue deeper every time Gerard shifted his hands. He tilted his head so Frank had better access, and the smaller man didn't hold back. Gerard kicked a leg over Frank's knees and teased the hem of his shirt with one finger, the other hand creeping a little bit further up his inner thigh. It seemed like something was possessing him, because Gerard wasn't usually this forward, but neither of them were protesting. Frank didn't hesitate to stick a hand up the back of Gerard's shirt, scratching slightly at the skin. Gerard growled and fiddled with the button of Frank's jeans, causing him to regain what little sense he had left. "Mm, Gee... Gerard, we..." He tried to pull himself away from Gerard's lips but kept getting sucked back in for more by some greater force. When he finally broke free, he was panting, and Gerard was licking his lips, pupils blown. "Gerard, as much as I'd love to... We're in a park."_

_"Oh," Gerard blushed, a nervous giggle escaping him. He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. His leg slowly slipped off of Frank's and his hands found a more innocent position in his lap. "Right."_

_There was a short silence._

_"Um... Would you, uh, want to do that, though? Like, is that something you'd be interested in? Some other time?" Gerard cringed at his own awkwardness. He found himself painful to be around; he could only imagine how bad it must be for Frank talking to a socially anxious wreck like him._

_"Come on, Gerard," Frank laughed. When Gerard did say anything, he furrowed his brow. "You're kidding, right?" Frank studied him for a second more before frowning. "You're not kidding. Baby, you keep forgetting: you're hot as fuck. Of course I want to have sex with you. Just... It will happen in its own time. When it feels right. I don't want to rush into things with you."_

_"Yeah. Yeah, you're right."_

_"Hey. It's nothing to stress about. It's just another step in our relationship. We can take as long as we want to get there." Frank tenderly stroked his cheek. "No big deal..."_

"God, you were sweet. What happened?"

"Ha, ha. Very funny." Frank rolled his eyes. Gerard watched his movements as the strolled, noting the fact that he looked just as beautiful as he had on their wedding day, because he looked equally as happy. Gerard felt blessed to have him. He knew that they didn't have the perfect relationship, but he also knew that what they did have was just about as close as was possible. As they continued past the park, Frank further confirmed his thoughts as he plucked a daisy from the sidewalk to tuck behind Gerard's ear. "A pretty flower for a pretty man."

"Oh, you," Gerard giggled. Turning to the streets beside him, he grinned when he spotted his old apartment building and pointed at it excitedly. "Hey, look! We had a lot of good times in there."

Frank smiled. "The first time you brought me home, you left me with Mikey for like ten minutes while you made coffee, and I kid you not, I have never been more terrified in my entire life. I didn't know whether to stop seeing you so that he couldn't threaten me again or to  _never_  stop seeing you so you could protect me from his threats forever."

"I think you made the right choice. His threats are only  _mostly_  empty."

***

"The astronomy dome! We should have brought the girls, they would love it here-"

"No kids on anniversaries. It's an unspoken rule between all spouses. Maybe some other time," Frank said, tone firm and joking. They looked up at the simulated stars and planets, strolling through the display and paying minimal attention to the scientific side of the place. It was much more magical not to know. Frank kept giving his husband little expectant looks until Gerard had an epiphany.

"Oh my god! This is where we went when I first dressed up in drag for you!" Gerard exclaimed excitedly, finally putting together the link between the environment he was in and the theme of the day. He received a few strange looks from passersby, but he was used to that.

"Yup," Frank chirped. "I was trying way too hard to impress you. You looked so damn  _good_  and I felt super inadequate."

"That was a good night." Gerard smiled.  _He thought he looked pretty damn hot as a girl. Frank thought so too. Sure, it had taken a second for him to drink in what he was seeing, fully realize that the woman standing in his doorway was in fact his loving boyfriend. But once it clicked, he couldn't get enough of it. He was practically overflowing with rounds of 'why didn't you do this sooner, Gee' and 'I can't wait to show you off, Gee' and 'this is a fuckin' fantasy I never knew I had, Gee.' Frank had immediately whisked Gerard off, determined to take him on a breathtaking date to make up for the air that Gerard had stolen from Frank's lungs. And breathtaking it was; Gerard had never felt more appreciated in his life. Possibly the most enjoyable part for Frank was the reactions of other people. When they were at the astronomy centre they had run into an old colleague of Frank's, who looked surprised to say the least._

_"Frank? Is that you? Geez, it's been years, I - oh. Who is this?" The man scanned Gerard from head to toe, and Gerard smiled at him sweetly. Frank frowned. Gerard liked that. The slight air of jealousy made him feel wanted._

_"Matt? Hi! It_ has _been ages. This is my girlfriend, Gee," Frank said proudly, tightening the arm that was secured around Gerard's waist possessively, as if he was afraid that Matt would steal him away. Gerard smiled and made a mental note to go down on him once they got home. "She's the best damn thing that's ever happened to me."_

_"Oh. It's nice to meet you, Gee," Matt said, twisting his heel uncomfortably and cocking his head to the side with an anxious curiosity. "I must say, this is quite a surprise. I, um... I always thought you were... Y'know..."_

_"Gay? Yeah, you were right. I'm very gay."_

_"What?"_

_"Baby, we better get going, or we're gonna miss our dinner reservation," Gerard purred, and Frank's breath hitched._

_"Yeah, you're right, sugar," Frank nodded. He fiddled with something in his pocket, glancing at Gerard with unusually nervous eyes. "I'll meet you outside, yeah?"_

_Gerard glanced at him questioningly. "Okay," he nodded, kissing Frank's cheek before wandering to the door, wondering what Frank needed to talk to Matt about without him being there. He found out months later that Frank had been asking for proposal advice, because he saw the ring on the other man's finger._

"Do you remember what happened after that?" Gerard asked, a sly grin pulling at his lips.

Frank scowled. "Yep. That disgusting bastard tried to get up your skirt."

_The man seemed to come out of nowhere. "Well hello there, sweetheart. I haven't seen you around here before. You got a pretty name to go with that pretty face of yours?"_

_Gerard looked at the man, disgust in his eyes. He couldn't even stand alone for five minutes without being hit on by creepy men, and he was willing to bet that even after he made it clear that he wasn't interested, this stranger wouldn't give up and leave. He couldn't imagine how awful it must be for women, who couldn't go about even the simplest of tasks if it was after dusk or their skirts were shorter than knee-length without getting harassed. He did get a small bit of satisfaction by thinking about the man's reaction if he knew he was a dude, though. "I'm waiting for my boyfriend, so as far as you're concerned, no, I don't."_

_"Are you sure about that? Because I don't see any boyfriends around," the man grinned, placing his hand on Gerard's thigh. He was wearing a black dress that pinched in at the waist and flowed out to exaggerate his hips, and black thigh highs that ended just before his dress did, so the man was able to touch his bare skin. Gerard felt sick to the stomach and shivered, which the man took as a good sign, and slid his fingers up a bit. Gerard held onto the fluffy white shawl that he was mainly wearing to conceal his chest and slapped the man's wrist away with the other hand._

_"He's inside. And if I were you, I wouldn't do that," Gerard growled testily._

_"Why not, sweetheart? I think you're just playing hard to get," the man said as he reached out and placed a hand on Gerard's hip, stepping a bit closer. Gerard began to get worried then, because this man seemed to have no problem getting physical, if his response to Gerard's relationship status said anything. Just before he could panic, the door to the restaurant opened, and Gerard smiled widely at the fiery glint in Frank's eye as he walked over._

_"What the_ fuck _do you think you're doing?" Frank jabbed a finger at the man's chest, who stumbled back in surprise. Gerard quickly latched onto his boyfriend, arms curling around Frank's waist, but not before Frank held his face and studied his expression seriously. "What happened, baby? Did he hurt you?"_

_"No, he just... He touched me-"_

_Frank swiftly turned around, fierce challenge clear in his eyes, and the man raced off down the street. Frank could be scary when he tried to be. That didn't affect Gerard, because now Frank was looking at him fondly, and his heart skipped a beat. "Let's get out of here."_

_"God_ damn _, that was hot. I fucking love you."_

_"I love you too, which is why I'm going to have to ask you not to go out in drag again unless I'm with you. People can be pricks, and I want you to be safe."_

_"I can handle myself," Gerard huffed._

_"I know, gorgeous, but it would just make me feel a lot better. I don't even want to imagine a world without you." Frank skimmed his fingers up and down Gerard's arm soothingly as they walked, effectively calming him down. Their height difference was even more exaggerated with the heels that Gerard was wearing, but Frank didn't seem bothered. "Some people'll just look at you and see a pretty face asking to be taken advantage of. I'm not trying to justify that or anything, just, I don't trust the morals of the fuckers out on the streets late at night. Plus... What if someone tries something and you like what you see?"_

_Gerard laughed. "Yeah right, Frankie. I've snagged the hottest dude in Jersey, probably the whole country, and you think I'm going to go for anyone else? I think not."_

_Frank smiled._

"You still think I'm the hottest dude in Jersey?" Frank asked, looking up at the stars that glittered on the ceiling.

"Undoubtedly. And definitely the whole country." Gerard licked his lips and looked at his shoes, contemplating whether or not to tell Frank what was on his mind. He didn't want to upset his husband, especially not today, but he owed it to him to be honest and he'd promised a long time ago to always share what was on his mind. "You know, I almost broke up with you a couple days after that."

"What?" Frank stopped walking. He looked at Gerard, betrayal and heartbreak beginning to glaze over his eyes. Gerard offered him a reassuring smile, squeezing his hand. "What did I do?"

"It wasn't anything you did. It was me. I was looking back on all that romantic shit that you pulled for me, and how good you were to me, and how appreciated and loved you made me feel. And then it all kind of hit me, all of that self hatred that coiled inside of me. I realized that you were too good for me, and I didn't deserve you, and you needed someone who could actually make you happy, and... And I decided that the easiest thing to do would be to break your heart before you inevitably broke mine. Thank  _god_  Mikey talked me out of it. Or, threatened. He was all like ' _Gerard I swear to god if you give up on the love of your life just because you're a fuckin' pussy I'm never talking to you again_.' I don't give that boy nearly enough credit," Gerard mused, and Frank looked happy and satisfied and relieved. "Of course, I hope you know I would have come running right back to you about a week afterwards, begging you to take me back."

"I hope you know that I would have taken you back in a split second and never let you get away ever again." He quirked a smile. "So really, Mikey was useless."

"I always knew it. That boy gets far too much credit for doing absolutely nothing."

***

They were sitting on a rooftop, huddled together in a blanket, taking turns downing a swig from the bottle of expensive red wine that rested between them, looking down at the blinking city lights. They'd spent about an hour pointing out various landmarks, like the playground where the twins had celebrated their first birthday, or all the venues Frank had played at. It was probably illegal to be up here, but neither of them bothered to check or cared if it was. Once the giggles and good times had died down, they sat in comfortable silence, ignoring the biting wind that whipped their hair around. Eventually, Gerard sighed and broke the quiet. "Do you remember when I wrote you that song?"

Frank nodded. "Bittersweet memories."

"Yeah."

_"That's it," Frank said. He looked tired. "I've had enough."_

_Gerard gaped in shock. Frank looked completely serious, a sad glimmer in his eyes that convinced Gerard that this was not a prank. He racked his brain for anything that he had done wrong but came up with nothing. "What?" Was all he could manage as a reply. He set his keys down on the kitchen bench carefully. Frank stood stoic, arms crossed and lips pursed. "Frankie, what's-"_

_"Don't 'Frankie' me," he snapped, voice sounding caught between wavering and yelling. He wasn't going to increase his volume though, as the twins were still asleep. Frank decided to pace instead, hands gripping his sides for dear life. "I can't do this anymore."_

_"Do what? What are you talking about? Sit down, Frank, talk to me." Gerard's concern was growing rapidly. He had never seen Frank this worked up before._

_"I can't keep pretending I don't know what's going on!" Frank hissed. He turned his back to Gerard, head bowed. "When did I stop being good enough for you? Is it because I've been gaining weight? I know I'm not how I used to be, but I_ try _. I honestly try to be the guy that you deserve. And I thought you still wanted me. I never expected... I didn't think that you of all people..."_

_"Seriously, what are you on about? You're just as gorgeous as ever, you know that I don't care about materialistic things like weight. Where is this coming from? I tell you every day how much I adore you."_

_"Save it. I don't want to hear. Remember when you said you'd always tell me if you needed more from me? Huh? What else have you lied about? You know, when I first noticed you were slipping out of the house at night and not getting home until early in the morning, I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I told myself that you were probably working overtime or something. i tried to believe you when you told me exactly that. But then..." Frank covered his mouth with one hand, failing to muffle the choked sob that escaped it. Gerard wanted to comfort him, but knew that it was a bad idea right now. "I heard you on the phone. Talking about running away together... You have_ responsibilities _, Gerard. You have a husband and two kids and a dog and a home and_ how could you do this to us _? I thought we were a team. I thought you loved me. I thought running away was_ our _thing. Do you remember that? Telling me that if things ever got too hard, I could run away with you whenever?"_

_"Anytime you want," Gerard muttered._

_"What?" Frank spun around, eyes aflame despite the tears running down his cheeks._

_"I said 'anytime you want,'" Gerard spoke slowly, piecing together everything Frank was accusing him of._

_"Oh, because that's_ really _important right now, thank you." Frank rolled his eyes, sarcasm sharper than a knife. "Who is he? Surely I deserve to know that. This guy that is_ so _much better than the man you vowed to be with forever. Is it Gabriel? From work?"_

_Then it clicked. "Frank, I'm not cheating on you. I can't believe you would think so little of me."_

_"Then how do you explain everything? The late night escapades, the phone calls. What do you expect me to think?"_

_"Sweetheart, calm down. I've been writing you a song."_

_Frank froze, and all emotion drained from his face. Gerard didn't know if that was a good thing or not. When he said nothing, Gerard decided to go on._

_"All those songs you've written for me, they're the absolute sweetest thing, and I was thinking, you deserve to have songs written about you too. So I called up Ray and asked him to help me record a song for you. That's where I've been going at night. Over to Ray's. I thought I was doing a better job of keeping this a secret, though..." Gerard trailed off to study Frank, and smiled when he spotted the spark of hope in his expression. "And the phone call you overheard, that was a lyric. I thought of the line 'you can run away with me anytime you want' and told Ray to write it down. I was going to surprise you with it tomorrow, so I'd have today to draw some cover art, but I guess now will have to do."_

_Frank watched as Gerard took the CD from his bag, eyed him tearfully as he held it out for Frank to take. He read the scrawled handwriting across the plastic case, recognized Gerard's writing in the words 'Summertime ~ for Frank,' saw the way Gerard's hand was shaking. Then he broke down sobbing, forcing himself into Gerard's arms, muttering apologies between his gasps for air. Gerard buried his face in his husband's hair, holding him as close as possible. They stood there in the kitchen and held each other, quivering with the mere thought of losing their relationship. Gerard whispered reassuringly into Frank's hair and told him he would never hurt him. The other man took to best of fifteen minutes to calm down, hands raking at Gerard's body and cries silenced against his chest. "I'm so sorry, Gee, I wasn't thinking, I-"_

_"No, no, you had a perfectly good reason to be concerned. But it's okay, we're okay. We're okay."_

"It was a really beautiful song," Frank said, drinking the last of the wine. He rolled the empty bottle across the rooftop, as if he was leaving behind a reminder of this night. As if someone in the future would find the stained glass and actually care about the stories it had to tell, the lovestruck couple behind it.

"Yeah? Well the reason I brought it up is because I've written you another one."

"Baby..."

"It's about everything. Meeting you, loving you, the bad shit we've been through, the dark stuff I felt... I think you're gonna love it."

"Yeah? What's it called?"

"My Way Home Is Through You."

Frank squeezed Gerard's hand. "That sounds perfect."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is [somewhat] the last chapter! Thanks for reading y'all, it means a lot. I hope you enjoy and the ending was satisfactory¿ this is the first fic I've ever actually finished oops.
> 
> I'll be posting another (bonus!) chapter so look out for that,,, also I've been writing a new fic that's about Gerard as a police officer and Frank as a badass who only does illegal shit so he has an excuse to see Gerard, so that should be fun. I'll probably post the first chapter soon if you're interested. I'll try to be more punctual on this one aH
> 
> Thanks again! Love you all :)))))


	12. Bonus Chapter - Heartaches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter from Frank's point of view, basically.

Holy fuck, Frank thought. He's even hotter up close. He looked at the man hunched over the counter again. It was a good thing the man was barely paying attention to his surroundings, because otherwise he'd definitely notice how Frank was staring at him.

Frank let out a deep sigh. He knew he was acting crazy; he was hyperaware of it. He just couldn't stop looking at the perfect stranger and longing to hold his hand. Which was strange; he always been a one-night stand kind of guy. A hopeless romantic, but too self-loathing to actually make a relationship work. But there was just something about this man that told Frank he was different. Special. Something that said he'd be worth the effort. He just felt a deep need to talk to him - destiny-fuelled, almost.

Two hours. He'd been standing in the store for two hours. This was getting ridiculous. A handful of deep breaths later, he forced himself to approach the stranger. He wasn't noticed right away, and stood stupidly, brainstorming what to say. "Hi," he decided on.

The man raised his head.

Frank plastered a warm smile on his face, hoping it hid the fact that his insides were melting. This man was so fucking pretty. His hair hung over his eyes, there was ink smeared on his cheek, and there was no denying that he was gorgeous. He had impossible cheekbones, and the most adorable nose Frank had ever seen. Eyes like a forest, complexion as pale as the paper on the desk before him, a mouth that hung open that Frank couldn't look at for too long without his thoughts driving into dangerously sexual territory. Frank internally prayed that he was gay. He caught himself staring again, but now he was up close, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't seem to pry his gaze away.

"Uh," the man said. "Heyo." He immediately blushed a dark crimson and Frank was instantly sucked in deeper. "Um, that was mean to be a hey, but, uh... 'hello' got mixed up in there too."

Frank laughed a little too loud. The man had a slight Jersey accent, meaning he was probably from around here - score - and his voice sounded like music to Frank's ears. It was sweet, melodic, and he could totally imagine it whispering dirty things into his mouth. "Well, heyo to you too." He looked down at the sketches that coated the desk and tried not to fucking moan. Yeah, he was a kinky motherfucker, but artists were hot. This man could paint him any day. Or paint on him. Or just touch him. That worked too. "Whatcha got there?"

The man looked down, apparently at a loss, and studied his surroundings. Frank took that opportunity to properly check him out. God, he was something else. The man wasn't fat, not at all, but he was soft, and Frank loved that. He probably gave the best hugs. Everything about him was perfect, from his raven hair to his tentative smile to the way he held his hands. He was a living, breathing masterpiece. Frank found himself thinking about how nice his forearms were, and who the fuck fantasises about someone's forearms? Frank did, apparently. He just really really liked what he saw. Not to mention the fucking Star Wars shirt, holy shit. "Oh, I'm making a, uh, comic."

Frank nearly passed out. That meant he could draw and write. Fuck fuck fuck. He tried his hardest to remain calm, as to not freak the poor guy out. Come on, Frank, you fucking loser, he thought to himself. Just show him you're interested. You can do this. "That's rad! Oh, man, I wish I could draw. Could I see?"

He looked hesitant, and Frank felt instant regret. He didn't want the beautiful stranger to feel uncomfortable. He just wanted to get to know him, maybe make out with him a little bit, buy him dinner. Flowers, too, he wanted to buy him lots of flowers, and watch horror movies with him - so he'd have an excuse to cuddle up close - and take cute cheesy couples photos that he'd look at twenty years from now with a fond smile, and take him to concerts and cafes and fucking Ikea, and bring him back to his apartment to built pillow forts and... Frank was getting ahead of himself. He opened his mouth to apologise for being rude, explain that he was just nervous because you are the most beautiful person I've ever seen, when the man slid the sketches across the benchtop with a shy smile.

Frank picked them up with a thankful grin, eyes widening as he took in the art. The man was rambling about the designs not being good or something, which was total bullshit, because they were amazing. There were four characters on one page, with a superhero vibe, and awesome costumes and laser guns and cute little notes scrawled all around the borders. Another page held an original monster design, which was fucking awesome. 'Draculoid,' the notes said. Frank smiled. The other pages had landscapes, and colour schemes, and villains and ideas and names and it was incredible. Frank looked up to see the man fiddling with his pencil anxiously. A light pink dusted his cheeks and coloured his pale face. "Uh, sorry. I ramble sometimes," he said.

Frank shook his head, hoping the man could see how psyched he was about getting to see the drafts. How fucking amazing he found them. "No worries, dude, these are awesome! I love your art style, the ideas, just all of it. This is so cool. What're you gonna call it?"

The man smiled, brushing his hair behind his ear. Frank felt his knees grow weak, as if that smile was sucking the life from his body. He mustn't get compliments often, Frank thought, taking the man's reaction into consideration. But how could he not? He was gorgeous. "I'm thinking, like, uh, The Killjoys, or something. I'm not really sure."

"You gonna get it published?" Frank asked, hoping desperately for an excuse to come back to the comic book store. "I would totally read it."

The man looked up at him, eyes scanning his face, and Frank felt an uncharacteristic wave of nerves. This man was going to be the death of him, he was sure of it. He shrugged, and Frank handed back his comics.

"So, you work here?" Frank asked. He was desperate to keep up a conversation so he wouldn't seem premature in asking for the guy's number. Speaking of which, what if the man was getting the wrong idea? Frank was here to get a boyfriend, not a comic book. He had to up his flirt game.

"Yeah... I've, um, worked here for, uh, nine years."

"What's a twenty-something year old man as pretty as you doing still working at a comic book store?" Frank said with a suggestive wink.

"What's a twenty-something year old man as pretty as you doing still browsing a comic book store?" He returned, and Frank grinned. That meant there was (probably) an attraction. The man bit his lip and looked away, causing a fluttery feeling to swell in Frank's chest. He wished it was his lip that the man was chewing on.

"Touché," he laughed, trying to seem as smooth as possible. Then it dawned on him that maybe the man's name wasn't Hot Motherfucker, so he rested his elbows on the bench and looked up at the hazel-eyed beauty through his lashes. "Sorry, excuse my rudeness. I didn't even ask your name?"

He stuttered slightly before speaking. "Gerard. Uh, Way. Gerard Way."

"I like it," Frank decided. "Gerard Way." It even tasted good rolling off his tongue. "I'm Frank Iero, and I think you're simply adorable."

Gerard blushed and ducked his head.

Frank smiled lazily, admiring the way Gerard's hair curled up at the ends. God, he thought, this dude is so out of my league. He frowned. So out of my league. Then he panicked. How the fuck was he supposed to do this? This man was surely descended from the heavens, and all Frank had was a shitty punk rock band and Smashing Pumpkins tattoo (speaking of which - Gerard was an artist, so he must appreciate the ink on Frank's skin, right? Maybe he'd be really into it, maybe-). Frank felt like he was drowning, he was so out of his depth, and he needed to get away for a few minutes so he could regain his cool and hopefully say at least one sentence of substance that would convince Gerard that he was someone worth seeing again. He said the only thing he could think of to save him, which admittedly, was kind of a dumb idea. "Hey, could I borrow your phone for a sec? I left mine at home."

Gerard nodded and dug his phone out of his pocket, sliding it across the bench to Frank. Frank offered him a smile and retreated down one of the aisles, unsure of what to do now. A million problems popped into his head. His own phone was in his fucking pocket, what if Gerard saw and called out his dishonesty? And of course, he had to call someone on Gerard's phone now, because what if he looked back at his call history and found it blank? Then he'd assume Frank had just been snooping, and he did not want that.

Frank tapped in the first number that came to mind, which just happened to be Shaun's.

"Hello?"

"Shaun! I'm freaking the fuck out, I need your help, holy fuck-"

"Frank? What's going on? Are you in trouble?" The other man asked, concern laced in every word. And it was no wonder, seeing as his bandmate knew about Frank's past with anxiety, and now Frank was rambling like a psychopath and was on the brink of hyperventilation.

"No, no trouble, I'm just, fuck, you remember that hot guy I was telling you about?"

Shaun let out an annoyed sigh but went along with the conversation nonetheless. "The one at the comic book store?"

"Yeah, him, the most fucking beautiful creature on the planet. I finally grew the balls to talk to him today. This is his phone that I'm on right now, and I'm not okay, Shaun, I'm-"

"You stole his phone?"

"No, dumbass, I borrowed it so I could ask you for advice, now please, help a guy out," Frank whined desperately, praying that his friend would not be a dick for once and give him a much needed pep talk.

"Goddamn it, Frank. Just... I don't fucking know, I've never asked a dude out before. Just be yourself, do what feels right, but remember to take it slow," Shaun said, and Frank cringed, because he was pretty rusty when it came to dating and his friend knew that. He tended to rush into most things, whether he realised it or not, and it usually ended badly. That was probably why he had never had a serious boyfriend or girlfriend, only people who came and went as they pleased. He thought maybe the stability would be good for him, someone to keep him in line. There was also that hungry ache deep in his being, a dark, consuming loneliness that craved love and affection more than anything. So yeah, Frank decided he would give this a red hot try, put in his all to make something work. "What do you want from this guy? Because if this is just another passing fuck, I'm hanging up."

"This one's special," Frank said quietly. "Don't laugh, I know this sounds really dumb, but I just get this feeling that we're meant to know each other, okay? Like... Fuckin' destiny or some shit. He's different, Shaun, and it'll drive me crazy forever if I don't get this right."

"Okay, so just ask for his number."

"I'm too nervous for that! What if he laughs at me or some shit?"

"Hm," Shaun pondered. Frank felt half blessed half cursed by his friend, because he was genuinely trying to help, but Frank could tell he wasn't understanding the gravity of the situation. If he could just send a photo or something, his bandmate could see how beautiful Gerard was and then maybe he would get it. "Hey, wait a second, you have his phone. Just put your number in. That way he can let you down easy if he has to."

"Of course! You're a fucking genius, Shaun. I could just kiss you-"

"Leave that to hot comic book guy. I don't want any of that nasty gay shit."

"Yeah, yeah. Straight friends are boring." Frank could almost feel Shaun rolling his eyes through the sound waves of the phone. He grinned. His friends were awesome, and much more supportive of his sexuality than his parents had been at first. If it wasn't for Shaun and the rest of the band, Frank's drug problem probably would have spiralled even more out of control, and caused damage beyond repair. "His name is Gerard Way. Isn't that a pretty name? And he's got a fucking Star Wars shirt on! And he's an artist! He's basically perfe-"

Shaun hung up.

Frank chuckled lightly to himself. He opened up the contacts and added his number, taking a quick photo as an afterthought. He prayed that Gerard didn't have a boyfriend (or worse - a girlfriend) as he switched off the phone and took a handful of deep breaths before returning to the man that was staring intently at the handprint stains on his shirt with a concentrated frown. "Thanks," Frank smiled, handing it back, trying not to think about the nerves that were threatening to swallow him.

"Oh, uh, no problem." Gerard was blushing and averting his gaze. "Um... Do you, like, uh, live around here?"

Frank beamed. It was like this fucking angel actually wanted to keep him around for a little longer. "Yeah, I just moved. Live right down the road, actually. You?" Frank mentally slapped himself. Now he sounded like he wanted to stalk Gerard or something. Way to go. "Do you live around here, I mean. Not to sound creepy or anything."

Surprisingly, Gerard met Frank's eyes, a bright smile lighting up his gorgeous face. "Yeah, just a couple blocks away."

Frank felt woozy and dazed, but tried to play it off with a simple, "that's cool."

Gerard giggled, fucking giggled, and if Frank wasn't sold before, he sure as hell was now. "Not really, I live in a shitty apartment with my brother," Gerard said as he toyed with his hair with one index finger, and surely he wasn't twirling it like teenage girl. Frank practically salivated. He couldn't help but lean in closer, resting his elbows near Gerard's outstretched artist fingers, head resting on his hands. He looked up at the man before him through his lashes, trying not to bat them hopelessly.

"I can guarantee mine is shittier."

"Is that a challenge?" Gerard asked with another giggle, and if Frank didn't know better he'd assume he was flirting. Gerard looked down at him, pushing those dark strands of hair that Frank was desperate to run his fingers through behind his ear. He missed one though, and the itch in Frank's fingers to push it away so it no longer concealed those beautiful eyes of his eventually grew stronger than his willpower. The second after he'd done it, he seemed to remember himself, and blushed nervously. He recoiled his hand and looked down, missing the mesmerised look in Gerard's eyes.

"I guess you'll just have to swing by my place and judge for yourself," Frank dared, figuring that he had nothing to lose after expressing such a fond gesture of affection to a man he barely knew. It paid off though, and Frank's breath was ripped from his lungs when Gerard spoke again.

"Maybe I will."

Frank couldn't help but grin widely, heart fluttering when the smile was returned. This cute guy was smiling at him and they had exchanged numbers (more or less). Could this day get any better? He nodded at Gerard's now stained shirt, pondering how dork and hot as fuck could be mutual aspects of a personality. "So, Star Wars?" The man looked down automatically, seemingly disoriented, and Frank immediately regretted asking when he saw the frown that pulled at Gerard's lips.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"I love Star Wars," Frank said, picking his brain for things that might cheer up Gerard's random cloud of sadness. He smiled as sweetly as he could, trying to pour all of his affection and positive feelings towards the situation into the other man. "My favourite has always been The Empire Strikes Back. Fucking gold. I always kinda had a crush on Han Solo."

Gerard visibly relaxed. "Me too. Young Anakin wasn't too bad either," he sighed joyfully, and Frank was pretty sure that they had just established that they were both gay, or at least bendy enough. Gerard's eyes trickled slowly down Frank's neck - notably pausing at the scorpion tattoo that was crawling above his collar - to look at his shirt. "So, I'm assuming you like the Misfits?"

Frank decided against fist pumping the air in euphoria and chose to grin excitedly instead, tugging on the hem of said shirt so Gerard could see the details better. "How did you know? You like 'em?

There was a definite playful air that came across Gerard, and it was clear that music was a subject that he enjoyed. "You betcha. Ramones?"

"Fuck yeah. Bowie?"

"Who doesn't like Bowie?"

"True," Frank nodded, trying to keep the obnoxious grin that was gradually dominating his face from scaring Gerard off. If didn't matter anyway, because Gerard wasn't paying attention anymore. He watched as Gerard's eyes drifted over his shoulder, looking at a couple of boys behind him who had just entered. Frank's heart sunk ridiculously, and he was reminded like an icy splash of water that Gerard was working. He was just being friendly because that was his job, and Frank was no one special. "Do you need to go help them or something?"

Gerard blushed, pale skin enhancing the scarlet that dusted his cheeks and the tip of his nose. He looked away, letting his hair fall from behind his ear again. "I'd much rather stand here and talk to you."

Frank died. Then and there. Dead. His corpse inched forward, magnetically attracted to Gerard, and watched the way his hair cast shadows down his cheekbones. "You're cute when you blush," Frank said shyly, trying to seem more confident than he was by offering a small smirk. It seemed to work, because Gerard's blush deepened to a dark scarlet, and he ducked his head to hide the sweet smile that Frank had already caught. His hair covered that gorgeous face and in the tipsy - dead - state he was in his body took over and lifted Gerard's chin so he could look into those eyes again. All doe-y and adorable that hazel-green stared up at him, gleaming with innocence and it was so much that it seemed to sober Frank up and he realised how touchy he was being. He dropped is hand, and took a step back. Of course he had to go mess this up by being too confident in a relationship that hadn't even been established yet. He was slipping back into his old self destructive ways. "I'm sorry, that was too forward, I'll just-"

"No!" Gerard yelled immediately. He looked slightly panicked as he reached out and grabbed Frank's arm, which was completely unnecessary because Frank was already like putty in his hands. One simple touch immobilised him. He saw the knowing glint in Gerard's eye as he loosened his grip, licking his lips and tapping his fingers on the counter. He awkwardly averted his gaze. "I mean, it wasn't too forward. I, um, I think you're really attractive and I like talking to you a lot and this sounds bizarre because I met you like fifteen minutes ago but you seem like a nice dude and I didn't mind you touching my face at all."

Frank beamed at him, heart melting into a hopeless puddle in his chest. "I like you too, Gerard."

He looked into the other man's eyes, wondering what he was thinking, if he felt the same way, if he'd give Frank his number. Hundreds upon thousands of thoughts milled around until they were interrupted by a tall, long-limbed man with blond hair and lopsided glasses. He burst through the door with an exclamation of Gerard's name, effectively ripping the pair from their mesmerised trance. 

Gerard's eyes widened impossibly at the stranger, and he raced forward to grab a hold of his shoulders. Frank's heart sank. This was probably his boyfriend. The way he cooed  "Mikey, what's wrong?" and the panic in his pretty hazel eyes made it clear that this man ('Mikey,' apparently. Frank thought that was a dumb name) was important to Gerard.

All Mikey had to offer was "I need to sit," and since Gerard was more focused on keeping the blonde man upright, Frank dragged a chair over in one final attempt at chivalry. He felt foolish for prematurely adding his number to the artist's phone, and was already plotting ways to delete it.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on or am I going to have to call Mom?" Gerard asked, leaning in close once he was crouched down to Mikey's level. Frank wondered if he should just slip out silently or stick it out so he didn't come across as a thirsty asshole.

Shaking his head and stammering, Mikey managed to eventually say "Pete," which apparently only heightened Gerard's concern.  _Great,_  Frank thought,  _another potential boyfriend. Fuck me dead_. 

"What about Pete? Is he okay?" Gerard gasped. The distraught look on the dark-haired man's face made Frank feel bad about his train of thought. Here he was, trying to get into Hot Comic Book Guy's pants, who was possibly suffering a tragedy in his immediate circle. He watched as the pair muttered to each other, before Gerard's expression morphed from distressed to elated and he ensnared the unenthused blonde man in a bone-crushing hug. Frank thought he wasn't appreciative enough of the gesture.  _If that was me, I'd be leaning into it, hugging back, maybe kissing him a few times_ -

Then Gerard bolted upright, startling Mikey. His cheeks were flushed red and his smile was awkward and apologetic as he faced Frank, eye contact timid. "Frank, oh my god, I'm so sorry, this is my brother Mikey, who just gave me a minor heart attack. Mikey, this is Frank." 

It took all of Frank's will to not let out an audible sigh of relief. Suddenly, he didn't think Mikey was such a dumb name after all, and he offered the other man a smile. "Hiya. So, who's Pete?" 

 _Fuck, fuck, shit, what the_ fuck _Frank? Stop sounding like you're about to jump his ass. Calm the fuck down. Why did you say that oh my fu_ -

"He's-" Mikey tried to reply, but Gerard beat him to it, a hand plastered over his brother's mouth for good measure.

"My brother's boyfriend," he grinned, and Frank's mood rapidly increased. He was on top of the world again from those three words alone, and all of a sudden he had a chance again. Mikey was bashful about the statement and playfully shoved his brother, but Frank was so happy he was barely listening anymore.

"Nice," he grinned, wondering how it would feel to run his hands through Gerard's dark hair. Probably fucking magnificent. He could totally write an entire song about how much he wanted to touch that hair, and the rest of the person attached to it. Abruptly, he remembered that he had band practice today, and last time he was late John let Neil punch him in the arm seven times.  _Hard_. A glance at the clock on the wall confirmed that he was late, and he swore under his breath. He loved his band, but  _seriously, hot dude_.  "Fuck, um... I gotta go now, but, uh, it was nice meeting you, Mikey." 

He relished in the fact that Gerard looked disappointed, and winked at him as he walked away. Mouthing 'call me' as obviously as he could, Frank backed out of the store, feeling Gerard's eyes on him once he turned his back and imagining how adorable his blush probably looked right now. Then he broke into a sprint, racing all the way down the street, darting around corners and jumping over loose pavers like a seasoned professional. The adrenaline from that interaction must have given him superhuman stamina or something, because he reached Neil's apartment in no time. Unfortunately, that adrenaline also caused him to work up quite a momentum, enough that he hit the door with full force. Despite being such a tiny person, the flimsy wood collapsed, effectively shocking the four men inside.

They stood and stared at Frank, who was lying on the floor on a disembodied door. Frank stared back.

"Guys," he said eventually. "I just met the hottest dude to ever exist."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO FUCKIN SORRYYYYY I HAVE NO EXCUSE I JUST SUCK BUT HERE IVE FINALLY FINISHED ITTTTT YALL CAN SUE ME FOR SUCKING AT PUNCTUALITY IF YOU LIKE
> 
> THANKS FOR READING THOUGHHHHH I LOVE YOU AND AHHHH THIS IS MY FINAL THANK YOU SO HVBSKKGEK THANKS FOR READING MY SHITTY LONGWINDED STORY NFJKDGVCHNTOHRTR ILY THANK BYEEE


End file.
